The big gay wedding

Before-You-Read Info
Started By: LG
Started On: August 10, 2011
Last Post On: September 13, 2011
Total Pages: 5
Total Posts: 45
Total Views: 485

The wedding of LG and xL had been in the planning stages for some time, and can be found mentioned across various threads in the 2010-2011 archives. Finally, the day was just around the corner…but what would fate have in store for the newlyweds-to-be…?

LG: So me and xL are going to get married and we wanna plan this out. We need food, a :cupcaek: , presents, and guests. So tell us what youre going to bring. Im bringing pudding and condoms :P

SG2: I'll use my chainsaws to carve a beautiful ice sculpture of the happy couple.

LG: Come on you guys we have been whoring off on you forever! The least you could do is help plan our wedding!!!!

xL: Well, obviously I will be bringing toast for appetizers. I can also hire some terrorists as bodyguards. You never know who might want to try and intervene...

Hamel: I'll make the :cupcaek: 's and I'm in the process of drawing a picture for it as well XD

Mr. Bones:

I can also hire some terrorists as bodyguards. You never know who might want to try and intervene…xL
If I'm presiding over the ceremonies do you really think i'd let terrorists anywhere near it? Pfffft ill provide security

Bradios: I shall bring you the finest android servants that shall be under your control until the day you die. They have been built to last in any situation and are programmed never to betray their set masters, that being you two.

Lemmy: A bucket of PENISes for the happy couple to snack on together.

SG2: You know, it's funny you mention that, because XL linked us a certain something in IRC last night... (obviously Traitor sells them for a living)

LG: So we have just about everything for a good wedding! Now all we need is a bounce house!

Lemmy: We call them bouncy castles now. And an oversized chess set.

MTS: I shall provide the bounce house in the shape of my tittaaas. 8D

LG: oh well no marriage

I don’t remember what happened next here, but based on this thread it probably had something to do with LG and xL both being whores, and Bones not wanting to allow whore marriage.

Hamel: THE MARRIAGE WILL HAPPEN!!! I'M ALREADY IN THE PROCESS OF DRAWING THE PICTURE >_<

LG: Bones said no :/ i will not go against the ruler of our great land.

SG2: Me and my mafia goons think we're gonna pretend the various incidents that transpired that night never happened. *mafia goons surround LG* Persuade him.

LG: What night huh I don't know what you're talking about! YAY THE WEDDING IS ON!!!!

Bradios: Hooray! Now I won't have to send the android servants off to the scrap heap!

MTS:

This wedding will be the shit.

Tim: I shall provide fluffy wool for your clothing! And fireworks!! Every big event needs fireworks! Also a sheep to bring the rings forward :3

LG: THATS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!! BRAD WILL BE BRINGING THE RINGS DOWN FOR US NOT ONE OF YOUR FUCKED UP SHEEP baaaaaaaaaa

SG2: To be fair, ring bearers usually carry the ring on a pillow, which might be what Traitor was going for. Perhaps if you refuse to allow this live, you could kill and stuff the sheep and have Bradios carry the stuffed sheep-pillow with your ring?

LG: Wouldn't it make Traitor sad me killing his friend?

xL:

We call them bouncy castles now. And an oversized chess set.Lemmy
I see what you did there.

Hamel: GOOD!! NOW I CAN CONTINUE MY DRAWING!

Tim: If you felt the need i'm sure you could just share him to make a pillow? ;~; WHY MUST THERE ALWAYS BE VIOLENCE WITH YOU PEOPLE! D:

MTS: I agree, violence is not ALWAYS the answer. Just 75% of the time.

Mr. Bones:

I agree, violence is not ALWAYS the answer. Just 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of the time.MTS

Fix'd

xL: If there isn't one incident of violence at my wedding, then it isn't much of a wedding. ;)

Bradios:

BRAD WILL BE BRINGING THE RINGS DOWN FOR US NOT ONE OF YOUR FUCKED UP SHEEP baaaaaaaaaaBradios
Oh, Thank you! Thank you so much, LG! This means so much to me!! ;_;

SG2:

If there isn’t one incident of violence at my wedding, then it isn’t much of a wedding. ;)xL
Then in addition to the ice sculpture, consider that my wedding gift to you ;) *is bringing a chainsaw anyways, may as well*

Mr. Bones: xL last I checked the deal was you both stop being whores. Wedding's off until you hold up your end of the bargain, ie stop trying to have sex with other people, especially me. Learn from Traitor animals are acceptable

SG2:

AIM Snippet
[22:12] Alex: But what whoring?
[22:12] Alex: I don’t recall any recent whoring
[22:13] John: Umm he tried on me last night
[22:13] John: Remember
[22:13] Alex: To be fair I think all he did was lean on you
[22:14] Alex: He didn’t legitimately do anything whore-like.
[22:14] Alex: Flirting isn’t whoring
[22:14] Alex: And also
[22:14] John: Hamel touched me and i proceeded “as usual”
[22:14] Alex: didn’t we decide that it’s only post-wedding whoring that’s an issue?
[22:14] Alex: Pretty sure that came up in the thread
[22:17] John: True
[22:17] John: But im der fuhrer and im off limits
[22:17] Alex: I think in this case you shouldn’t be so quick to say wedding’s off
[22:18] Alex: You castrated him last night, let that be enough punishment for flirting with der fuhrer
Wedding is on, but consider your penile mutilation fair warning, XL.

Tim: As a wedding present I think someone needs to 'fix up' xL down there so he's whole again.

Bradios: I guess I could do a little transplant for good 'ol xL, how do you feel about it dude?

SG2: Are you going to just replace his mutilated PENIS with a cybernetic one? Or are you going to go all-out and put his brain in a robot body?

Bradios: Well, I'm assuming that xL wants to keep his humanity, so I'd attach the prototype for the new Hydraulic PENIS I've been working on for months. It would give me an oppurtunity to see it in action as well.

Enjoylov: For the wedding I will bring a camera and/or a video camera. :P XL needs to learn how to behave and probably does want to keep his humanity. XL what do you think? :shrug:

LG: Is this still on I'm really not sure any more... i guess I'm having cold feet :o

xL: WHY AM I BEING ASKED SO MANY QUESTIONS????? *Runs away*

Mr. Bones: No its not still on lg. You formed the gay army after I strictly forbade you in doing so. So I'm re-outlawing marraige between you and xL. You're lucky I don't declare you an enemy of the state and exile you to australia for an act of treason. But you have been warned

SG2: Not to mention XL kinda became a whore again anyways. That, and the Ultimate Jizzard...

Bradios: Well, that's kind of a relief since most of the robotic slaves I was planning on giving you were....kinda destroyed by trying to plug up Ultimate Jizzard.

Tim: Aw, i saved a few litres of that jizz ocean as a present for you :(

LG: Well it wasn't a gay army Bones it was my over 9000 PENISes, which I've always had. But I don't care I have no need for marriage.

Mr. Bones: That's not what you said. You clearly said gay army, I could have SG2 pull up the log, also you tried to end ignoland by joining the ultimate jizzard. Thank god for my straight genetics and bradios' sex robots, despite their neutrality, or else all would have ended like it seemed you wished to happen.

In the end, despite LG and xL’s on-again-off-again boyfriend status throughout the years, they never did get back together. LG quit being a whore once and for all shortly after the wedding cancellation, but xL just became more and more of a whore until he had completely surpassed his predecessor. LG went on to find new romance with Tim, but that didn’t work out in the end, either. xL just continues to give free blowjobs out with purchases at the Gas Station Next Door. Neither has really ever found true love again, and I can’t help but wonder if these two’s love lives were forever cursed by that fateful day’s ocean of jizz………