Shake Weight

SG2: I keep seeing commercials for this thing...come on, WTF? Does this motion not remind them of anything? What really gets me is that the commercial (this isn't the one I've been seeing on TV BTW) says that it's a workout 'specifically designed for women'. Yeah Shake Weight, I totally believe that you're designed for exercise, and not a training tool to make women more proficient at handjobs. Absolutely. It's like the other commercial I saw last night for a Trojan-brand 'personal massager'. Who do you think you're fooling?

Mr. Bones: They make one for men too. It has triple the weight on it and believe it or not it works. Its hysterical but it works.

Bradios: I swear the shake weight ads need to be a new form of hypnosis, every time my family watches those ads they get mesmerized by the damn thing... ..You think it was built to counteract MTS's hypno-tits?

Tim: Hmm, maybe we can market these with the homosexuality drugs! Between the two of them we could possibly immunise against the hypnotits! And subtly increase IGNOs gay army

xL: Well Traitor, more asses for me to fuck are always welcome!

Mr. Bones: You better not be raising a gay army to usurp mein power. My army is exclusively leperachauns and narwhals, and they're all asexual to increase testosterone induced rage.when they retire we put them all out to stud, or to be birthmothers, depending on gender.

SG2: Fuhrer, I do fear we may have to be on the lookout for a gay uprising. Between LG's experience associating with the gnomes and the whore xL has become, they have the leadership skills and the manwhore power to back it up. Traitor's support will also probably bring in lots of gay sheep, which could be difficult to handle if the numbers are great enough. We could surely defeat them if such an uprising occurred, but the amount of damage it would cause could be catastrophic. We should nip this in the bud while we can, before they launch a full-scale revolution.

Mr. Bones: I agree we must squash this revolution before it happens, rally the troops, I shall prepare a speech.

LG: THATS RIGHT MY GAY ARMY LETS GO!!!!

Lemmy: I'm yours for life if I can have the Goten in your name.

Mr. Bones: LG watch your moves carefully you're treading on thin ice, WE SHALL NOT STAND FOR TREASON! IGNO IS A LAND OF PEACE AND LOVE OF ALL KINDS AND SEXUALITIES NO MATTER HOW SLUTTY YOU ARE. HOWEVER WE WILL NOT TOLERATE THE BUILDING OF AN ARMY CONTRARY TO OUR OWN! ESPECIALLY ONE THAT ONLY CATERS TO ONE SEXUALITY OR ANOTHER! TRAITOR THIS GOES FOR YOU TOO! OUR EMPIRE WILL LAST FOR 1000 YEARS! WE WILL SQUASH ALL OPPOSITION! WITH SG2 AND HAMEL AT MY SIDE WE SHALL RULE THE WORLD FOREVERMORE! HAIL IGNOLAND!

LG: Fuhrer we wont start an army if you let me and xL get married... Well most likely I wont be starting an army but I just want gay marriage legal here in the land I call home, IGNOLand.

Mr. Bones: I never said it was illegal. Iirc we banned you from marrying xL because you were being annoying. I'll have to consult SG2 about it but gay marraige is legal, I mean we did marry traitor to a sheep against his will and bradios to someone else forcefully using my minister powers. And corey and andrew got married (not sure they know about it but I married them)

SG2: Marriage of all kinds is legal in IGNOLand, it was LG and XL specifically who were forbidden because they proved to be whores. I approve of this union under the following conditions stated in IRC, restated here for convenience:

This means LG and XL both must renounce their former whorish ways. HOWEVER, they may continue to have PENIS sex with each other and express their love of the phallus across the board to maintain our humorous lifestyle. Also, LG and XL must swear not to be part of any potential gay uprising that occurs now or in the future, or their union will be terminated with violence. With that, I give my clearance for this wedding. Being that he is ordained, Fuhrer Bones shall officiate this wedding. Everyone is invited, so bring your gifts and foodstuffs, bring a date if you so wish, and come show your appreciation for this gayest of unions.

xL: For LG, I shall never be a whore again! The only one I will be a whore towards is him.

LG: And if you do I'll castrate you!

Mr. Bones: If one of you fails to uphold your promise to SG2 and myself you'll both be castrated

LG: AND XL IF ITS YOU ILL KILL YOU!

xL: Sure you will, LG. Sure you will... You say it all the time but you never do, silly man.

Lemmy: Where's the line to get yourself castrated, again... ?

Mr. Bones: *makes the super secret narwhal castration call and points at lemmy* All aboard the pain train

Lemmy: YESSIR, MR. MANDELBAUM.

SG2: *sees the pain train coming* LOOK OUT!! *dives in front of the speeding paintrain and knocks Lemmy out of the way*

Mr. Bones: Fine. I guess we'll rebook your appointment later mr pierce I'm not sure how you castrate a mermaid anyway, I was gonna let the narwhal figure out that one

Lemmy: You were going to take a castration for me. o_O I mean... it's no risk to you, 'cuz you ain't got castratable stuff. But even so...

Hamel:

Don't you know, Mermaids keep them in their ears, or so that's what the rumors say

Bradios: Bah! Rumors! I actually can scan the mermaid myself to be sure of it!

Tim:

Say's the guy who's been a ghost a few times

SG2: You were ghosted by Pink even more times than XL you know  and how does castration result in a ghost to begin with?

Bradios: And we revived him, why?