List of IGNO Memes

‘Beware the Garden Gnomes’ is perhaps the oldest meme in IGNO’s long history. This joke cropped up on the Animes bboard frequented by SG2, Angel, )v(ajin and Yon-khu way back in 2003. While the exact reason is unknown, Angel would often make threads in the Off-Topic section telling others to beware the evil Garden Gnomes, who had stolen the Piski Dust – the Piskis being the good equivalent of the evil Pixies. While the trend of ‘Beware the Garden Gnomes’ threads and references popping up in topics waned significantly once IGNO was created, the Gnomes have forever had a place in IGNO Canon as IGNOLand’s enemies, and sometimes-underlings of Angel herself.

Explained in greater detail in its own section, the Christmas Stories originated in 2003 on the Animes board in a story written by Yon-khu, featuring the pre-IGNOers on an adventure to save Christmas – with the help of Dragonball Z characters Goten and Trunks. The following year, SG2 wrote a sequel to this story, and IGNO was created the year after that – leading to a third story in what became a Christmas tradition.

Back on the Animes and CAR bboards, Angel had a habit of creating new topics to make a random statement of some kind – typically, ‘beware the garden gnomes’, or ‘Gotenny is kawaii’. This trend continued to IGNO for some time, often with thread subtitles indicating ‘you gotta read it it’s important’ as clickbait before announcing something ridiculous. One of the most notorious AngelGoten Announcements is the combination of two memes – ‘the garden gnomes stole the dolphin eggs’ (see below).

This joke was birthed in real life, between SG2 and Corey in their US History class, where Corey would turn everything in conversation vulgar in a combination of ‘your mom’ and ‘that’s what she said’ jokes. The titular Tim is in fact not the current IGNOer of the same name, but the Tim who sat behind SG2 and Corey in that class – a 2005 IGNOer who went by Masson26. This meme is perhaps the one most strongly associated with Corey, and the old days of IGNO. See the transcript of the original topic here.

The vaguely-insulting nickname for ville coined by Corey and SG2 in their US History class. Uni = one (of something), comm = communist. This was also ville’s original username on the board for a while, followed by UnicommIsNoMore, before he finally re-registered under his current handle. A transcript explaining this in greater detail can be found here.

Corey and ville have always been known for their simultaneously close friendship and extremely strong tendency to bicker violently. Originally noticed by Silver and SG2 (who at the time were notorious yaoi fangirls, in which the ‘they fight all the time to hide their true feelings’ archetype is quite common). This spawned numerous jokes to the effect that Corey and ville were secretly lovers and only acted like they hated one another (and in Corey’s case, covered with an overly macho, ladie’s man attitude) to keep their relationship a secret. Comments to one from the other would typically be twisted to try and find the ‘hidden romantic meaning’ behind the words. Numerous other male x male pairings have since arisen in IGNOLand’s history, but Corey x Andrew will always be the original IGNOTP.

Corey became known for these, making multiple Rant threads to ramble incoherently about a particular subject. There were numerous Crazy Rant threads throughout IGNO history, with Corey often making a new one after returning from his notorious hiatuses to post all over the board. One such rant thread has been transcribed and can be viewed here.

When IGNO was first created, SG2 was amazed at all the features that a forum could have, as opposed to the bboards she was used to – and one such feature she became infatuated with was the Emoticon (‘Smilie’ in IGNO colloquialism) System, and the ability to upload as many custom smilies as she wanted. These were taken from various locations, but many of them came from deviantART, including the following chainsaw smilie: Already known for her violent threats, SG2 took a liking to this most violent of smilies and began using it prolifically across the board. It wasn’t long before SG2 became synonymous with chainsaws, going as far as inventing new and outrageous (and impractical) chainsaw-based weaponry as the situation called for it – most notably, of course, the Rocket Chainsaws, which she insists she came up with on her own before ever seeing the infamous images on the internet.

In the early years of IGNO, polls were extremely popular topic types. Not satisfied with simply adding the necessary poll choices, however, SG2 would populate the poll fields with several ridiculous and unrelated options (it helped that no one on the board was aware of how to create a single-choice poll at the time). One such poll option in 2006 read ‘are dolphin eggs good eatin’?’, which caused the originally-intended topic to derail into a philosophical debate on how, despite dolphins being mammals who do not lay eggs, the females would still have eggs inside their bodies which could potentially be consumed. This meme persists to this day, although now the concept is envisioned more as dolphins who spit eggs out of their mouths – unrelated to a different fictional species. Read the original topic here.

SG2 is left-handed. Polls were popular in the early days of IGNO as a means of generating discussion. Naturally, one such poll that came up was ‘left or right handed?’, which quickly spun out of control with SG2 declaring an eventual revolution wherein the oppressed left-handed population of the world would rise up and overthrow (or enslave) the right-handers. This theme has cropped up numerous times throughout IGNO history, with SG2 periodically trying once again to incite the revolution against right-handers…though it usually ends in failure.

Katie’s favorite animal is the goat. For reasons unknown, during the Ten-Minute Break between classes at SG2’s high school, when the group of prominent 2005 IGNOers (SG2, Silver, Katie, Corey, ville) would get together to hang out in the hallway, Katie started to come up with absurd things to shout loudly as people walked past them. One such thing became ‘I love goat condoms’. Another, ‘heavenly goat slobber’, and so on. Katie became more known for her love of goats than she did for these outbursts, eventually spawning the idea of flying goats on the forum, and settling down with her husband Von Goatly (a well-respected professor) and eventually having a son with him named Goatie.

Katie has a habit of turning real-life jokes into references on IGNO that may confuse outsiders. Here’s a brief list of the most common.

Sketched-Out Acorns

This originated in Ecology class, wherein SG2, Silver, and Katie were in the same lab group. During one lab experiment involving acorns, the group decided it would be hilarious to fit variations of the word ‘sketchy’ intermittently throughout the lab instructions – ex. “in this experiment you have some sketched-out acorns”. It was for some reason extremely funny in a you-had-to-be-there sort of way.

Hood Ice Cream Bars

The class trip for SG2’s senior class in high school was a day at Six Flags amusement park. SG2, Silver, and Katie spent the day in a group together, and Katie couldn’t help but notice that most of the rides at Six Flags had Hood advertisements – sure enough, when it came time to grab lunch, Hood ice cream bars were offered as dessert. Eventually a smilie was added to the board in the shape of a chocolate-coated ice cream bar.

Bel-Air

Katie became known for quoting the lyrics to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song on various threads across the board.

At some point in 2006, a loophole was discovered in the Random Facts thread – which was originally for posting, well, random facts (like A U.S. Quarter has 119 grooves on its circumference, a dime has 118 grooves; E Pluribus Unum means "Out of Many, One"; you can't sneeze in your sleep, etc) – and that was that, as long as you preface your statement with the words ‘random fact’, anything you say is a random fact. Random Facts then became one of the first threads pinned in the Off-Topic section and was more or less a repository for telling the random mundane things that happened to IGNOers during their daily lives, or anything that came to mind and warranted mentioning somewhere, but not deserving of its own specific thread. Random Facts on the original Invisionfree board became the thread with the most pages (with the exception of the much-maligned IP and Sage thread), at 161 – as of this entry, the ZetaBoards counterpart has 43 pages. The phrase ‘random fact’ has also been known to pop up in other threads, used in the same fashion (as well as variants like random question, random thought, and so on).

Most likely originated in an AIM chat between SG2 and Karma that later found its way to the board. Somehow it was determined that, while Karma is uninterested in conventional pornography, she has a strong Death God fetish and keeps stacks of Death God Porn hidden in her room. Often used as a means of bribing her into some action, should raw meat be unavailable. As her IGNO character is undead, this fetish has gone from a joke that relies on its ‘creepy’ factor into something that is perfectly reasonable for a denizen of the macabre-themed Blood Country.

A very holy and delicious type of cake that seemingly only SG2 and Karma know the location of. It is bathed in a golden glow of light and has a halo. Since 2010, the desirability of SuperCake seems to have been superseded by Hamel’s Cupcaeks.

A topic born of an AIM chat between SG2 and Karma, resulting in the most famous ‘if IGNO were [x], what would you do?’ type of thread. This thread is perhaps the cornerstone that can be credited for truly fleshing out the concept of our forum selves being ‘characters’, as well as what pushed SG2 to begin creating our now signature character sprite portraits. It has been occasionally toyed with as an idea to create an actual Fighting Game, but will most likely not come to fruition any time soon due to the amount of work involved. Still, the influence this topic held at the time greatly influenced the direction the community took from that point on, with the creation of ‘IGNOLand’ as a whole and the gradual shift towards more roleplaying aspects following shortly thereafter.

Mostly born of AIM chats with Karma, though it crossed over to the board as well. For unknown reasons (though presumably it was triggered by anger, or boredom), Karma would periodically transform into an animalistic version of herself known as the Were-Karma. The Were-Karma was unstoppable once provoked, stopping at nothing to maul and eviscerate anyone in its path, with a particular fondness for children and the elderly. Raw meat (particularly steak) could appease the Were-Karma and keep it at bay, or put it to sleep, though it would seemingly only revert to Karma’s regular state if she felt like it.

It may be hard to imagine now, but there was a period in IGNO history when SG2 and Karma were both very uncomfortable with sexual humor – and often times, if something was too perverted for Karma, SG2 would be requested to take a drill to her brain and remove the offending memories…by force. One such thread lead to the drilling going horribly wrong, causing Karma to become a mindless zombie who terrorized the board for a short period…

Zombie Karma’s brain-eating shenanigans had gone too far, and she was offered a deal to drink a potion to turn her into a vampire with a dormant virus, unable to turn others into vampire minions, but free to drink as much blood as she desired. She took the deal and regained her sanity, but she still needed a way to survive by drinking blood…so she imposed a Blood Tax on the other members of the board, where they would all donate a small amount to her (not enough to die) since she took the deal and wasn’t after their brains anymore. Needing authority to impose such a tax, she declared herself the Kaiser, and the area we all resided in was now known as the Blood Country, with most members becoming loyal to her. It wasn’t until later that IGNOLand was broken up into smaller nations, though loyalty to her as the ruler of all IGNOLand remained even then.

Now ruler of IGNOLand, Karma discovered The Rainbow and declared it as the official cult religion of the state. The Rainbow is what grants residents of IGNOLand their own official member colors, and bathes us in its glorious light. ‘The Rainbow’ also refers to the location, which is a Heaven of sorts where all loyal followers of The Rainbow are destined to take their final rest. Notably, many word filters on the board also filter to rainbow colors, and the otherwise obnoxious rainbow BB Code rainbow-colored text in general was added for this purpose.

The Doom Legion is a group of very cute, very dangerous bunnies commanded by Aibou. They conspire against you.

There was a popular song by Japanese artist Yuna Ito called Urban Mermaid, the chorus for which proclaims ‘I’m a beautiful mermaid’. Its catchiness caught hold of Lemmy one time during a phone call with SG2, and he started singing this line…giving birth to the notion that Lemmy, in fact, was a beautiful mermaid. He fought against this notion strongly for a time before finally accepting his destiny as the prince of Mertopia, living beneath the sea of IGNOLand. This is the specific reason that Lemmy is a male mermaid, rather than a merman.

Lemmy became notorious for his typos, more commonly in MSN conversations than on the board – however, this was a period where jokes had a tendency to cross-migrate between chat and forum, and this became a meme all the same, with numerous threads posted to point out and make fun of his notoriously unusual typos. One such typo – the word ‘terrible’ becoming ‘terribible’ – became the physical book wherein his unholy typos were stored.

spree [spree] noun

Often times on a forum with close-knit members who know each other outside the board (whether in real life or just from chatting elsewhere on the internet), discussions and references will come up between them that others don’t understand. This likewise happens when elements of pop culture come up that not everyone on the board follows. When more than one member was left out of the loop of being ‘lost’, they would ‘join the club’ with the others who were just as confused – The Lost Club. Lost Club members had fancy jackets with their names and the Lost Club logo emblazoned on the back, and it became a fashion trend to wear your Lost Jacket proudly when the conversation became too confusing. There had been talk of getting official Lost Jackets made in real life, but it never panned out because that shit’s expensive.

Often times, someone wants to say something in a thread ‘under their breath’, and so they say it at the end of their post in an absurdly tiny font – typically so tiny it’s unreadable to the naked eye. The trick to reading this tiny font is to copy it to the clipboard and paste it somewhere (like Notepad) where you can then read it normal-sized – but newfriends can’t tinytext, so the effect of ‘talking behind someone’s back’ ends up coming into play in a rather realistic way.

In a period when many of the board members were becoming newly engrossed with 4chan, cat macros (‘lolcats’) were popular on the board. One such macro lead to a group chat on MSN between SG2, Karma, Lemmy, Crisis, and Aibou wherein SG2 was the Trainer and the others were her party of Pokemanz, going on adventures similar to, but far more impure, the popular handheld game series, including but not limited to such crimes as beating up Gym Leaders to steal their badges, mauling innocent children and the elderly, and stealing an entire PokeMart (the physical building itself). A thread was created after these exploits, which then continued in the IGNO Chatroom (the archaic precursor to the cbox/IRC/Discord as IGNO’s chat service of choice) and on the forum.

A forced meme that SG2 was insistent on pushing for a brief time, based on this image of the character Kibito from Dragonball Z.

Throughout IGNO history, there had been numerous events that were catastrophic enough to be referred to with a --pocalypse suffix. While this had been going on since 2005, it became most prolific in the fall/winter of 2007, where IGNOPocalypses were very nearly overtaking the board. Note that any significant event that may be given the –pocalypse suffix is considered an IGNOPocalypse (ex. the Rightpocalypse).

And yes, IGNOPocalypse is the correct notation – not ‘IGNOCalypse’.

Cumtastic likes bananas. There was a point in IGNO history when everyone was going crazy for cookies. It eventually came about that Cumtastic and Bones would team up and create a revolution in botany, crossbreeding bananas and cookies so that they could grow trees that sprouted banana-flavored cookies.

There was a time when everyone on IGNO had decided they had a doctorate degree in some field they specialized in. Rather than use these doctorates for the greater good, wars broke out where everyone used their doctorates for violence…literally. They used the actual, physical certificates to hit each other with, reinforcing the flimsy paper with anything from concrete to diamond for greater damage.

Another text-related meme, this started through SG2’s original description of The SG2 Steppes and has since been used in a similar fashion elsewhere on the board, most notably when Konungur Bones speaks of his iron fists fluffy hugs.

There was a period of a few months in 2009 where the ads displayed on the board were almost always for teeth whitening…however, the images used in the ads were extremely creepy, and having to look at them on almost every page became obnoxious very quickly. It was decided that the Teeth were a new enemy bent on invading IGNOLand, and they have come up in discussion every so often since. Read all about the terrifying incident here.

SG2 happened to see someone on campus who had a striking resemblance to Russell, to the point where she almost went up to talk to that person – they even hung out in the same general area on campus and wore similarly nerdy clothing (read: t-shirts with anime or comic book phrases and imagery). Shortly thereafter, she saw him a few more times, leading to the idea that he was Russell’s Evil Twin. Russell subsequently made a fake account on the board to parallel Blackfenix with Whitetassadar, and a version of his avatar with a goatee. Soon after that, others began making alternate Evil Twin accounts (MrBones = SenorFlesh; AngelGoten = DevilTrunks, etc) and there was a (short-lived) Evil Twin invasion on IGNO. Though unconfirmed, DevilTrunks is the most likely origin of the concept for shrubbery dwarves, the evil kin of the garden gnomes (thus, DevilTrunks warning us of similar but different things than AngelGoten would).

One of the tribes of diminutive, subterranean creatures in IGNOLand, kin to the garden gnomes. Though the gnomes have since been described as having other kin (leprechauns, lawn elves), the dwarves were the most notable, invading the chatbox on a regular basis and for some reason speaking nothing but German (their name in the mother tongue being gebüschzwergen). German in general could be considered a sub-meme, as all great IGNOLand rulers have taken German titles (Kaiser Karma, Herr Reese, Fuhrer Bones), and the language has a tendency to pop up here and there across the board.

Originating in a humorous chatlog between Russell and Bones, ‘Russell loves penis sex’ became an IGNO meme as well as an IRL joke overnight. This was originally meant as a humorous jab at Russell, tying into other jokes regarding his ambiguous sexuality, but soon took hold during the influx of new members in 2009 – particularly with LG, who took the joke and ran with it. It wasn’t long before penis sex lost its connection to Russell and became a general IGNO joke regarding the most ideal form of sexual intercourse (penis penetrating penis), and was (much) later canonized as the means of mating on the all-male planet Gaylia. Most likely, the idea to add a word filter to the word penis (which long predated other similarly-filtered words) came around this time as well, for ‘penis’ was probably the most-spoken word on IGNO during this period.

Originally born of an exchange in Random Facts, Bones usurped control of the world (dialed back over time to just his own empire in IGNOLand) from the Interim Kaiser – Herr Reese – who was ruling IGNOLand after Karma’s departure. Not that Karma was a benevolent ruler by any means, but Bones rules with more tyranny through the power of his iron fist fluffy hugs, and his command of the masses is absolute. Those who choose not to obey his rule meet with swift and untimely demise, but those who remain loyal are given great perks and, often, positions of authority in IGNOLand.

While it is now known that Hamel is female IRL, during the first few months of her joining IGNO she decided to mess with everyone and intentionally keep this fact vague. When she finally decided to stop being ambiguous, she claimed to be male, and provided a fake photo of herself from Google Images to back her claim. However, her real first name which had appeared in an email sent to SG2, and subsequent phone calls with other IGNO members finally revealed her to be female. However, her IGNO character has a generally masculine appearance and is considered to be ‘genderless’, flip-flopping between different pronouns in an homage to this prank.

Ironically, this meme started to take hold only a few months before the death of the renowned pitchman. Bones had made a troll account to impersonate Billy Mays on various threads across the board, sponsoring IGNO things and sneaking in advertising for actual Billy Mays products like Oxi Clean and Mighty Putty, all while, of course, speaking in all-caps. This spread to the chatbox and a sprite was even made in Billy’s likeness, and there were often wars between him and Vince (the Shamwow guy) in the chatbox. Sadly, no sooner did this meme become truly popular when Billy Mays passed away, and the meme was laid to rest along with him – though not before a blindingly-white skin was made into the board’s default for the week or two following his death, given a custom banner and dubbed (naturally) ‘OxiClean’.

At an unknown point during this time, long-time female member AngelGoten began discussing in great detail how large and beautiful her penis was. Soon all of IGNO was envious of her pure penile perfection, and she has long since been considered the owner of the largest penis in IGNOLand. It is presumed that, while females typically do not have penises, Outbackian females are the exception to this rule – or perhaps Angel is just truly special in that regard.

A thread originally made in the summer of 2009 that has since been revived almost every summer (though it’s never as amusing as it was during the first go). Due to the influx of new members at this time, it was commonplace to see fighting going on in various threads, and, particularly, in the chatbox. Thus, in the time-honored tradition of having random wars in IGNOLand, this thread was made for the sole purpose of having everyone duke it out with everyone else using their IGNO persona’s powers. It currently holds the record as the thread with the most pages since IGNO’s move from Invisionfree to ZetaBoards.

LG became known for his whorish ways around this time, sleeping with anything that moved, as long as it had a penis. Penis sex was his preferred method of intercourse, though he didn’t mind trying out new and kinky things, like nasal sex, ear sex, or consensual gay sex in the missionary position. While he and xL were an item on and off again during this time, they would often break up because LG couldn’t give up being a whore – however, as of 2012, he has finally abandoned this aspect of his past and reclaimed his honor as a proud Gaylian warrior…though he still loves the penis.

Originally a meme from YDB (LG’s short-lived, but memorable Dragonball forum) in the summer of 2009, this crossed over to IGNO like so many other YDB memes. On YDB, Pink was simply a highly fictionalized version of the singer P!nk who one day arrived and declared herself Queen of YDB. When YDB died, she became a part of IGNO culture along with many other YDB memes. She was defeated once in a time long past and now hibernates beneath the earth, but there is a prophecy that she will return one day as herald of The Vage Wars, which will destroy the world once more.

Another YDB meme that crossed over to IGNO. The Zetabug is a large insect-like creature who will date your mom, taking her to a fancy restaurant for a nice meal, maybe some dancing, and generally have a lovely time, only to never call her again. He was born from an incident with the s1 servers of ZetaBoards malfunctioning and rendering the board unusable for several hours one night, though the chatbox was still functional – xL referred to it as a zeta bug, and LG decided to troll the chatbox as this mysterious new creature.

This one’s a bit multi-faceted and requires a bit of explaining. One of our earliest members, AngelGoten, was always seen as somewhat ‘exotic’ for being from Australia when the vast majority of our users had always been from within the US. In 2009, we were joined by Tim, who hails from New Zealand – which is apparently not the same as Australia. However, most of us westerners didn’t really know the difference, and over time this misconception that Tim was from Australia spread into an intentional in-joke to annoy him (calling New Zealand things like ‘Australia Jr.). While he was originally frustrated by this sort of newbie hazing, in time he learned to stop fighting it and decided to just play along.

As the whole ‘IGNOLand’ aspect began to grow more prominent at this time, the elephant in the room had to be addressed – we had a real-life country like Australia constantly being referenced alongside our fictional places like Blood Country and The SG2 Steppes. Thus, our Australia was determined to be just another fictionalized continent that just happened to share the same name and stereotypes as its real-world counterpart. Bit of a messy ‘solution’, but it worked for us. IGNOLand’s Australia became an amalgam of both real-world Australia and New Zealand, thus cleanly tying together the whole business with Tim mentioned above.

Things got a bit messier from that point on, however. As mentioned, Angel was long known to have hailed from real-life Australia, and thus naturally her fictional counterpart was stated to be from IGNOLand’s Australia. Since she was also notorious for controlling (sometimes) the garden gnomes, gnomes became associated with Australia as well. And since gnomes were the natural enemy of IGNOLand, IGNO logic dictated that all Australians were thus conspiring with the gnomes, and that made them all enemies of the state. This caused IGNO-Australia to become the IGNOLand boogieman for a long time, so that even when the connections with the gnomes were downplayed, Australia still had a reputation for being ‘the bad guy’. Thus, when the whole business with Neutrals (see below) cropped up, Australia once again fell right into the role as the ‘enemy’ nation of Bones’ Empire.

As of the November 2015 ‘clean sweep’ retcon, IGNOLand’s Australia has been renamed as The Outback. The nation has no connections with the garden gnomes (who are a subterranean race found throughout IGNOLand), and their ‘Neutral’ stance has been explained as a refusal to be conquered by unite with Bones’ Empire. Thus, The Outback retains its old reputation as the enemy of nations allied under Bones’ banner, but has been given a much more sympathetic portrayal.

Sometimes there will be an amusing phrase that makes a member stop and say ‘[x] is my new band name’. Eventually, this became its own (very popular) thread, and the topic continues to crop up from time to time.

As though his affiliation with garden gnomes wasn’t enough, Tim dug himself deeper and was officially branded a Traitor to IGNOLand after stealing Bones’ famous iron fist fluffy hugs catchphrase (strikethrough and all) and posting it on another forum. Bones found out about this and was unamused by this blatant theft. Thus, ‘Tim’ now word filters once word filtered to ‘Traitor’ across the forum.

As of the November 2015 retcon, the “Traitor” label is a result of Tim’s defection from The Outback as a military scientist, instead choosing to join Bradios in the founding of the Neutral Nation.

A powerful device that Tim got his hands on at one point (it supposedly once belonged to SG2), which has the ability to both create perfect clones of anything as well as, presumably, go back in time (it goes ‘back in tim’, at least), though the former is the primary use it’s displayed. After cloning the cloning machine itself, Tim now has innumerable copies of the device, as do other people in IGNOLand who have stolen them from him. Naturally, this has lead to mayhem on more than one occasion, and cloning has officially been outlawed within Bones’ Empire (update 1/10/13: cloning Cowsy is legal for the sake of increasing the beef supply, but all other cloning remains illegal). Since The Outback falls somewhat out of the umbrella of Konungur Bones’ rule, however, Tim continues to disobey this law and clones many copies of himself, his sheep, and who knows what else. The theory is that he plans to mount a full-scale Neutral Clone Army against IGNOLand.

PWR had long been known on IGNO for using her feminine wiles to get what she wanted (and generally whore around IGNOLand), but it wasn’t until this typo she made in IRC of the word ‘vague’ that cemented ‘vage’ (pronounced vay-j) as the official IGNO slang term for the word ‘vagina’. PWR has since become known for her terrifying and powerful vage (and the Vage Cage, which may be inside her vage or a location in her homeland – this has not been confirmed), and it has been retconned as the home of the crows she originally had the power to shit out. The word ‘vagina’ will also wordfilter to ‘vage’ across the board, and it is the preferred term for female genitalia in IGNOLand.

The primary source of MTS‘ power lies within her breasts, which not only have the power to control (straight) men (and lesbian/bisexual women) but are deadly weapons in their own right. She can store vast amounts of energy in them and unleash a shockwave by knocking them together, as well as expose her nipples – which have eyes and can be used to cast a hypnotic spell on whosoever is unlucky enough to look into them. Though she is loyal to Konungur Bones, it is feared that, should the power of her tits meet PWR’s vage, the world will be plunged into the prophesied Vage Wars…

(this will make more sense if you’ve already read the above entry on Australia/The Outback)

At some point after Konungur Bones’ reign began, IGNOLand came to a startling conclusion – with enemies, you know where they stand, but with neutrals? Who knows!! With Australia considered to be a nation of enemies to Bones’ empire, full of garden gnome conspirators, Bradios got tired of always being treated as a potential spy and decided to defect. However, with his reputation already so bad on Bones’ side, he had no proper place to defect to – thus, he was instead branded a neutral party. Since Bones was Hell-bent on making all Australians into the Boogieman, he instead shifted the issue toward all Australians being indecisive Neutrals who are even more of a threat than actual enemies. The actual threat surrounding Neutrals was extremely vague and often changed as the topic demanded, but the general consensus was that Neutrals were out to spread their thoughts of Neutrality to others like a virus, making them a threat to Bones’ iron fist fluffy hugs as a means of keeping his citizens in line.

As of the November 2015 retcon, the backstory behind Bones and his conflict with the Neutrals has been further fleshed out. No longer is Australia The Outback directly associated with Neutrals – in fact, Neutrals are neutral for the very fact that they are aligned with neither The Outback nor Bones’ Empire. Neutrals are instead members of Bradios’ Neutral Nation, a colony and safe haven for refugees who don’t believe in the ideals of either country. Thus, while the Neutrals remain a threat and enemy to Bones’ empire, they are also now considered enemies of The Outback as well.

Due to circumstances that have since been forgotten, something happened one night in IRC to transform xL into a horrific monster dubbed The Jizzard – a beast composed entirely of jizz, who proceeded to begin destroying IGNOLand Godzilla-style and drowning it in his thick, white doom. The fight was long and hard (lolol), but eventually the forces of SG2, Bones, LG, MTS and Bradios overcame it – Bradios overloaded the creature with sexbots and the creature was somehow infused with Bones’ straight DNA, causing it to explode in a jizzy mess all over IGNOLand (and leave a lasting effect of gaydiation for some time). The reconstruction efforts were costly, but no lives of value were lost. However, it is unknown if this form of xL will return again someday……

It was discovered that the main result on Google when you search ‘IGNO’ is a university in India. Of course, this could not be allowed to stand, and so IGNO conquered the university and set up its own, which is now the finest educational institution in the land.