Started On: August 21, 2011
Last Post On: March 15, 2012
Total Pages: 5
Total Posts: 42
Total Views: 446
LG: WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!! Okay so someone is killing off IGNOites! Like any other scary movie we have to find out who this is then end up having a final blood bath in a huge house! BUT BE WARNED!!!!!! More people will die! WE MUST FIND THIS KILLER!!!!!
SG2:
[23:55] <~SG2Tiger> Lol
[23:55] <~SG2Tiger> I bet it’s Hamel’s clone
[23:55] <~SG2Tiger> Or maybe the twist ending is that there never was a clone
[23:55] <~SG2Tiger> And it was hamel all along
[23:58] <+LG>
[23:59] <+MrBones> Really
[23:59] *** Timzzzz is now known as Traitor
[23:59] <+MrBones> Are we as bad as m night shamallamalan
[23:59] <+MrBones> Or however you spell his name
[23:59] <~SG2Tiger> read the thread
[23:59] <@Traitor> lol
[23:59] <~SG2Tiger> You tell me you didn’t get ‘cheesy horror cliches’ from it
[23:59] <+MrBones> I have
[23:59] <~SG2Tiger> I figured that was the draw
[00:00] <~SG2Tiger> So I intentionally made my twist terrible
[00:00] <+MrBones> I don’t knwo wat to post yet
[00:00] <~SG2Tiger> Because it’s a believable horror movie twist
[00:00] <+MrBones> Its obviously lemmy
[00:01] <+MrBones> He’s been bitten by werekarma so many times
[00:01] <~SG2Tiger> Nah
[00:01] <+MrBones> He’s obviously a weremaid
[00:01] <~SG2Tiger> Would have happened long ago if he was him
[00:01] <~SG2Tiger> I figure he built up an immunity
[00:01] <+MrBones> Plus he is a goatnapper
[00:01] <~SG2Tiger> That may be true, but goatnappers =/= killers
[00:01] <~SG2Tiger> Who are we to judge him anymore than we judge Traitor for fucking sheep
[00:02] <+MrBones> This is true
[00:02] <+MrBones> Traitor does fuck sheep
[00:02] <+MrBones> It was him
[00:02] <~SG2Tiger> Lol
[00:02] <~SG2Tiger> He’s also australian
[00:02] <@Traitor> lol
[00:02] <~SG2Tiger> I think we need to hire Mystery Inc
[00:02] <~SG2Tiger> Because this is a puzzle
So...we've got some suspects among us. Hamel's clone? Hamel? Lemmy? Traitor? Or someone else...? LG obviously had Cliche Horror Movie in mind when he made this thread, but I'm starting to envision Old Fashioned Detective Mystery...less like Umineko, more like Clue. I SAY IT WAS LG, IN THE PENIS CAVE, WITH THE TEETH!!
xL: I think it was SG2. For fuck's sake she is always killing we. (Or at least beating me to a bloody pulp.)
SG2: We?! 
xL: ...I meant me. 
You know...beating me with a 12x24, etc. lol
Bradios: Yeah, but just because she does it just to you doesn't mean she could be the killer...right? :S
SG2: Anyone in this room could be the killer. That's what makes it a mystery. XL, for example, has indulged in so many other perverse acts that it's only natural to imagine he might become curious about necrophilia at some point. Traitor could be the killer because he's tired of being pushed around by all of us. Hamel could be the killer because she was recently fired from her position as Obst...the Obgr...as a member of the Fuhrer's pantry. Etc... EVERYONE HAS A MOTIVE. IT'S FAR TOO SOON TO POINT FINGERS. Especially since I don't believe we've actually had a murder yet... ... *suddenly, all the lights go out...*
CAEJones: But the lights going out doesn't effect me~! ... *Dies*
Reese: Ahh! The murdered body of CAE's dead deceased corpse! Who could have done this?
Bradios: Noooo! Not CAE! ...well, would the murderer have a reason for killing CAE off first? This is gonna turn into an IGNO based Umineko-esqe murder mystery...I'm calling it now...
xL: Well, none of us have ever understood what Cae says...
SG2: Umineko didn't invent the detective mystery genre, Brad. It could be because he's the only one who would be able to 'see' in the dark and identify the killer...he had to be eliminated because he was a threat to the culprit!!
Mr. Bones: IT WAS LG IN THE PENIS ROOM WITH PWR'S VAGE
Tim: I was busy with my sheep! I have an alibi! I think it was SG2 in the barn with the chainsaw! *points to mutilated limbs as evidence*
xL: Those aren't limbs! It's just my blood from the numerous times SG2 KEEPS HITTING ME WITH THAT DAMN 12X24. 
Reese: It was definitely Keiichi in the shrine with the baseball bat!
Bradios: You cannot believe how much I love you right now, expect AWSM points when the system is back up. But I think Traitor is somewhat suspicious, since he immediately told us his "alibi", I say we investigate him first.
Mr. Bones: I say we investigate bradios. This crime stinks of neutrality
Tim: Claiming to be neutral will always make you look suspicious, unless you knew it would make you look suspicious so someone is trying to frame him
SG2: What do you care? You're a neutral, too. I SAY WE THROW BOTH OF THEM IN THE LAUNDRY BRIG.
Bradios: I still say that Traitor is more suspicious, remember he does have a clone army he could use to do all the dirty work for him.
SG2: Oh yeah Bradios, and your legions of android servants that you happen to mention on a regular basis totally make you look innocent. *throws Bradios in the laundry brig*
Reese: Muah ha ha ha ha....Yes, it must have been Bradios! *twirls mustache*
Bradios: *is trapped in the laundry brig* ...Bah... I must prove my innocence somehow...but...how...?
SG2:
WhiteTassadar: Ah, so you;ve discovered my ruse. BlackFenix is away on a diplomatic mission to [insert name of IGNOland's arctic tyoe region]. While he was gone I was able to escape from the shadow realm he trapped me in, so I decided to take his place in these proceedings. I am every bit as clever and more devious by tenfold. For the sake of boredom I am willing to put aside our differences and take up the role Sherlock Holmes instead of Professor Moriarty *twirls mustache and dons a hounds-tooth deerstalker cap* Bradios is clearly the prime suspect. We know the neutrals have been plotting against IGNOland for quite some time. And with his army of cyborgs any alabi he may have simply cannot hold water.
xL: I'm pretty sure it was Bradios. The other night when I sneaked into his house to perform my nightly routine, he was no where to be found! There was not a sign of evidence anywhere on his bed indicating he had been there that night. There was no doubt in my mind that some raunchy, oblivious instance had occurred!
SG2: So, Bradios has been in the laundry brig for like 2 months now, and no murders have occurred since we locked him up. That sounds like proof that he was the killer to me. Can we lynch him yet? *goes to get lynching supplies when suddenly...the lights go out...*
Reese: *When the lights come back on, BlackFenix is lying dead on the table with a claymore through his chest.*
Mr. Bones: Everybody hit the deck, russ has a claymore in his chest. Bradios must have escaped
Bradios: How could I have broken myself out if I'm still in said laundry brig and the door is still locked? Besides, if I was the killer, I would've broken myself out months ago...
SG2: *stands triumphantly after hitting the (pirate ship?) deck and points at "bradios" while Dread of the Grave starts playing* You obviously spent those months building a replica of yourself to use as a decoy and plan your escape. Don't toy with us!! *smashes the metal decoy open* If you don't want any of your other 'little buddies' smashed to pieces, you'll confess!! We all KNOW you're the only one here with the technical equipment to put a bomb in russell's chest AND use your lightning powers to cause the blackouts!! Everyone, focus on finding bradios, before he can kill again - obviously the best idea is that we all split up and carelessly go off on our own, so let's get to it!!
Bradios: Very well then, be that way! But just be noted of this, I supply IGNOLand with all types of technological equipment and that includes explosives such as that claymore mine, anybody could have bought it and used it to frame me. *le woosh to go search for the culprit*
Mr. Bones: Who here buys his filthy neutral technology?
SG2: Probably Traitor. If you include Traitor's clones, he probably makes a good living selling the stuff, so I'll give him that much. Still, not enough to make me believe Bradios is innocent!! *grabs a chainsaw and begins searching for Bradios, all alone, through the very, very dark corridors...*
Tim: *sits tea* I suppose what we need to do is verify whether or not Bradios was indeed involved with this second case. For myself I deny all accusations. While I have indeed purchased weaponry before it is merely for defense of certain sensitive machinery of my own which others have attempted to destroy and claim.
Mr. Bones: How does one sit tea? Are you watching it wile its parents are away? IT WAS YOU WHO SPRUNG BRADIOS FROM THE LAUNDRY BRIG WASN'T IT?
xL: *sneaks up behind SG2 in the dark corridors for fun*
SG2: Know when you read a word wrong at a quick glance? Maybe it was because I knew the post was XL's, but I totally read 'corridor' as 'condom' and did a double-take. *suddenly the lights go out again, and when they come back SG2 watches as XL mysteriously falls to the ground, motionless...*
xL: *starts snoring*
LG: SO A NEW THEORY!!!!!!! No one is being murdered people are being kidnapped by Traitor!!!!!!!! Then he clones them and then he murders them!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The proof is in these two pics:
SG2: But...but if he killed me already then does that mean...I am just...a clone...? 
But...my memories...they feel so real...
xL: A clone, you say? Thank God...the real SG2 was crazy! *Hugs the (supposedly ) SG2 clone*