Russell's Evil Twin

SG2: So I was just heading back from class and on my way down to the commuter lounge and through those tables areas of the cafe I thought I saw Russell. I only realized it was in fact not Russell because this guy had a full moustache/beard combo, and I sincerely doubted Russell could have grown that over the one week of break we had since I saw him last. But other than that, he looked EXACTLY like him. I almost went over and started talking to himAnd then it occurred to me that the classic way of representing an evil twin in media and the like is by giving the ’evil’ one some sort of ’evil’ facial hair, which is usually a beard/goatee. So clearly, this guy was Russell’s evil twin. I’m quite frankly amazed that his evil twin happens to go to the same school as him instead of being off on the other side of the world plotting evil things in Germany or Russia or some such place, but there you have it. Russell’s evil twin is among us.

Karma: Wow. This is the year for twins--I think half the people I work with on the tech crew have some creepy double hanging around the school now. Including the kid with the huge ’fro. Do you know how hard it is to duplicate a huge afro?

Mr. Bones: not hard if you are black or jewish or have hair like one of the 2. that factor and a can of afro sheen and you are golden on the afro front

Reese: afro-sheen? I don’t wanna know... Just wondering how you know I’m not the evil one...

WhiteTassadar: Mwuah ha ha. How did you discover my existence!? This sevrely hampers my evil schemes!

Crisis: ooookkkkkaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I’m scared for life now, thank you

SG2: He has found us!!

Karma: Don’t worry I’ll stab him. *stabs him*

WhiteTassadar: How dare you stab me, this is an outrage! *pointing dramatically* MINIONS, ATTACK!

Karma: How dare you! Minion Russell, counterattack!

SG2: ...How did you...how did you edit the gnome smilies and keep them animating?!

SeñorFlesh: i believe my evil twin lurks here. have you seen him?

SG2: Oh my God, all the evil twins have discovered and are invading IGNO!!

DevilTrunks: Hey, is it true that my evil twin is here spreading lies and stirring up trouble? She is evil and a liar!! Don’t listen to anything she says!! PS - Trunks is kakkoi!! Trunksy wunksy wunksy wee!! Beware the lawn elves!!

Reese: Yes mein Kaiser. Gnome-kabobs roasted to your liking, coming up!

And now, once I use my necromancy...

An army of zombie gnomes marching under the banner of Blood Country!

Mr. Bones: ahhhh zombies DECAPITATE THEM *uses massive anime sized cutlass to decapitate every gnome in one fell swoop* also wtf is senorflesh doing here i thought i locked him in the basement to whore him our so i didnt have to get a job. oh well

DevilTrunks: You may have stopped the garden gnomes, but the lawn elves are the real threat!! They stole the magical faerie powder, as well as the whale larvae!! Also, they are in league with the evil jester. Beware the lawn elves!!

Karma: lawl everyone knows LAWN ELVES don’t exist DEVIL. I GOT MY EYE ON YOU.

Mr. Bones: what about shrubbery dwarves?

Reese: Do not decapitate the Kaiser’s armies plzkthx! *reattatches all the zombie heads* Let’s see now, I believe my Liber Bestia has entries on Lawn Elves and Shrubbery Dwarves...

Spoiler

Spoiler

SG2: Where the Hell do you keep getting this stuff?!

Reese: Tee hee. I’ve been having fun with Gimp. Thanks for showing it to me! Just let me know if I’m posting too many images for your bandwith and I’ll scale back.

SG2: I’m pretty sure posting links to off-site images doesn’t take up any bandwidth. I think that’s only with files directly uploaded to the forum, like when you use the ’attach file’ option when you make a post. I’ve never personally seen anyone else do that, though. Also WTF GIMP can disassemble animated GIFs, edit the frames, and reassemble them?! I had no idea. ...Anyways back on track, we must destroy the evil twins.

Karma: I see nothing animated O_o

SG2:

These.

DevilTrunks: Aaaah!! It’s the lawn elves!!

Angel: NO! BEWARE OF THE GARDEN GNOMES!!!! P.S Gotenny wenny woo

DevilTrunks: You evil fool!! You’re just trying to distract them by drawing their attention to the gnomes, so that when their guard is down, the lawn elves can destroy them!! Admit it you evil, evil...evil thing!! P.S. - Trunksy wunksy woo

Angel: NO! The Garden Gnomes are the real threat, the lawn elves aren’t anything to be worried about. They’re just a bunch of drunk elves doing no harm. THE GARDEN GNOMES STOLE THE MAGICAL PISKI DUST!! Screw the faerie powder; it’s only used for magically creating alcoholic beverages anyway. P.S GOTENNY WENNY WOO!

Sploogetacular: hi, i heard this is where the evil twin convention was being held..

Karma: So...many...evil...twins....X_X

SG2: They are becoming a bit of a problem, aren’t they?

Mr. Bones: oh i can provide a solution to that problem my good twin is a bit annoying and i will provide his services citizenship to the SG2 steppes. and im sure crisis and i can get the rest of them up

Karma: Thank the Rainbow I have no evil twin of my own or something potentially...really bad...could happen.

Dharma: Not...so...fast... KARMA. I’m here to take the throne you stole from me!! I am the rightful Blood Kaiser, not you! Me, the Lycanthrope Cavallier, Dharma! I am here to give you one final warning. Step down peacefully and advocate your crown to me - you know how I dislike violence. But should you fail to comply, then I will have no choice but to use force...

Angel: LOL! This is so funny. I believe DevilTrunks is in league with the lawn elves. DevilTrunks keeps stealing the whale larvae and using it to create giant labia to take over the world.

Karma: WHO THE CRAP IS IMPERSONATING ME I SHALL BEAT THEIR HEADS IN

Dharma: "Impersonating"? That’s an odd choice of words coming from you, evil twin! It is you who is impersonating ME! I am the one true Blood Kaiser! Me, and me alone! And for the record in case no one has actually assumed this so far, DevilTrunks, Sploogetacular, and I are most definitely NOT SG2...

Reese: I shall defend your right to the throne with my life (and potentially my undeath), mein Kaiser! But if we have the power of the Rainbow, what power do our evil twins worship?

Karma: Colorblindness!

Dharma: That’s it, I’ve had just about enough of this! *unleashes the Lawn Elves* Minions! Beat their collective asses!

Crisis: *blazes the lawn elves down with plasma fire* Nobody, repeat nobody, beats my current employer and her associates/minions while i’m around.

Karma: Man it’s good to have loyal employees/minions. What the crap kind of name is ’Dharma’ for an evil twin anyway? *taunts twin of evil*

Mr. Bones: Dharma - one’s righteous duty or any virtuous path it would seem as karma isnt the only evil twin on the board. EVIL TWINS FTW. SenorFlesh is too goody goody

Angel: Dharma reminded me of that.. erm.. weird serial killer dude.. Jeffrey Dharmer or whatever his name was.

SG2: It reminds me of Dharma from Dharma and Greg. But given the fact that everyone’s evil/good twin seems to be a sort of antonym for our names, I think Dharma is the most appropriate name for Karma’s evil/good twin.

Reese: Jeffry Dahmer the cannibal killer.

Mr. Bones: im more of a john wayne gacy fan myself

Reese:

Dharma: (noun) 3. Virtue

Karma = (noun) 1. seen as bringing upon oneself inevitable results, good or bad

"Because the opposite of good is neutral"

SG2: It’s more a matter of preserving the pun and connection to the name ’Karma’ than being a true ’opposite’. I wouldn’t exactly call flesh the opposite of bone, afterall, but it gets the point across.

Reese: I know, I agree with you, but I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to quote Zap Brannagan.

Karma: I just think Dharma sounds stupid >>;

Angel: I’m not picking on Dharma. I love it heaps, it sounds totally awesome.

SG2: Karma, take out your frustrations with the name on the evil twin, and then you won’t have to worry about it.

Angel: DevilTrunks sucks.

Karma: FINE THEN. *TACKLES DHARMA*

Crisis:

FOUNDRY PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMNET!!!

Evil twin causing a ruckus, getting out of hand, or just generally being evil? Well, there’s only one thing for those evil twins!!

That’s right, ladies and gentleman; the Crisis Evil Twin Assassination Service is currently accepting contracts to put that pesky evil twin (with or without a cool name) out of your misery…FOREVER, for the low, low price of $100,000 USD. That’s right folks; you too can get rid of that annoying evil twin at these bargain throwaway prices!!!

WARNING: Offer not avilible to evil twins. Taxes, expenses, and other applicable fees may apply. The Crisis Evil Twin Assassination Service© is a subsidiary of Foundry International, all rights reserved.

Karma: What if an evil Crisis twin mech shows up? *Bites evil twin*

Crisis: Custom Ordered mech, one of a kind. The orginal templetes and design specs were destroyed after i came online, as to preserve my orginality.

Mr. Bones: what f 2 people related to eachother in an evil twin like way simultaneously ordered the exact same custom made mech by providing simultaneously planned out specs and blueprints?

SG2: If the evil twins come from an alternate universe, then in that universe, the evil Other Alex would have custom ordered the same mech at the same time. It’d just have, like, a slightly different pain job or something, but otherwise be the same...only EVIL.

Catastrophe: That is correct...and now that you know my evil secret, I’ll just have to kill you ALL!!!!!! Wahahaha!!!!!!!

Karma: Lol he’s inverted, that’s what makes him different. *pointlaugh at Catastrophe* *throws Dharma into evil mech*

SG2: You know, a while back when we did the whole fighting game thing, I did a sort of character/stage selection screen in Flash with the sprites I had made for everyone...and the ’Player 2’ characters were all palette swaps of the originals...which I’m now envisioning as being the evil twins.

Karma: The evil me is BLONDE?

Crisis: >,> *grabs evil twin, knees it in the face, and puts several anti-tank plasma shots through it’s chest*

SG2: Well it’s evil, isn’t it?

Karma: ...point I guess.

Crisis: >,> i’m a blonde, and i’m not evil!!

SG2: You contradict yourself, sir, as all blondes are evil. It is a well-known fact. The whole ’dumb blonde’ thing is just a ploy to make us drop our guards and give you the advantage. Your kind has been secretly planning the conquer the world for centuries...why do you think Hitler was so obsessed with the blonde-haired blue-eyed Aryan race? Your kind was controlling him from beyond the shadows!! And you would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling...wait...

Reese: So either he’s either evil, or he’s not a real blonde...

SG2: lolwut

Reese: Wow, that’s whaqt I get for typing while distracted, lol. I meant Either he’s evil, or he’s not a real blonde.

Mr. Bones: *jumps on other alex’s shoulders and checks the color of his roots* he’s blond therefore evil

Crisis: *Rips Bones off, slams him on the floor, stomps on him, and shoves a plasma cannon IN his nose* World domination, or the pirate gets it! And for the record, Hitler had this thing about Jews being evil. That wasn’t us.

Karma: Hey hey hey, Crisis, the world belongs to ME first as the Blood Kaiser and you’re still under contractual obligations. Don’t forget it.

Mr. Bones: *turns into skeletal form and slips out of the mech’s grip leaving only the cape from the standard form* *puts senorflesh in crisis’ grip* go ahead kill him unless sg2 still wants his servitude citizenship for the SG2 Steppes but she can stop him. my allegiance lies with only 2 people me and mein kaiser (in no particular order)

Karma: I love how everyone is so loyal to me

SG2: *shoots a rocket chainsaw at Karma from an undisclosed hiding place*

Karma: *bubble*

Crisis: w00t!! ret vampailies FTW!!!!

SG2: ...wut

Crisis: bubble = you got owned. Nothing short of a destro ’lock’s Chaos Bolt can hurt her when she’s bubbled.

SG2: .........um, wut

Karma: It is a shield of holy impenetrability

Reese: *purge*

Mr. Bones: *binge*

SG2: John wins, /thread

xXkakashi-soul-reaper-ninjaXx: BNGNG AND PURGNG SI A GREAT WAY 2 LOS3 WATE MAN MAH GF DOES IT AL DA TIEM AND SH3S 2TALY THIN AND HAWT!1111! OMG

EnjoyLov: whatever did happen to Russell’s evil twin?

SG2: I find it a creepy coincidence that I did in fact see him again today (making the 3rd time I’ve seen him since I made the thread). I was in the lounge until about 9:15 this morning, since the library wasn’t open when I got to school at 7:30, and when I went off on my way to class I passed him sitting at a table in the commuter cafe near the basement elevator. That’s the same general area I saw him both other times, too. Seriously, he looks just like Russell. Same hairstyle, similar build, wears nerdy t-shirts, from a distance his face looks enough like Russell’s that it’s made me remember ’that’s Russell’s evil twin!!’ the second two times I’ve seen him since the initial time, only he’s got more of a beard - which is of course the sign that someone is EVIL, as we all know. In other words, there is no denying that this man is indeed Russell’s evil twin, but they just happen to go to the same school rather than be, like, in alternate dimensions, or at least opposite sides of the world.

EnjoyLov: That is funny because doesn’t the phrase go everybody have a twin somewhere in the world. I bet everybody has somebody somewhere that kinda looks like them. I probably do somewhere along the line.

Reese: Cameraphone, do eet!

SG2: Because that won’t be awkward at all. *walks by Russell’s evil twin and nonchalantly whips out camera phone and snaps pic* "Oh, whoops, sorry, I hit the button by accident, it was a total coincidence that I happened to be pointing the lens at you, stranger I have never met, I swear!!"

EnjoyLov: That would be really awkward and how will he know if you took a pic of him if the volume wasn’t turned on?

xXkakashi-soul-reaper-ninjaXx: OMG LOOLO DO I HS AN AVIL TEIN 2?!?!!? OMG LOL I BT I DO WUT HA LIEK TAL ME T3L ME!!1!!!!!!!!!!11!1111! OMG WTF LOL DATTE BAYOOO!!!!

Reese: You could take the picture from a distance, or ask him, humiliation be damned!

EnjoyLov: That is such a good idea Russ

SG2: Okay, if it’s such a good idea, I’ll have you both come with me later to see if he’s in the commuter cafe, and I’ll gladly lend you my phone so you can do it.

Reese: I’ll do it.

SG2: You would. But first, we must find the man in question!! Who’s ready for a stakeout?!

EnjoyLov: I’ll join in with Russell. I want to see his evil twin.