I CUT YOU

Karma: So I went to King Richard's Faire today, which is a renn fair for the uninformed (knights in shining armor, damsels in distress, jugglers, fire eaters, dragons, all that jazz). Anyway, there was this great sword shop that brought some of their wares in and had them on display. If you were 18 or older you could pick them up, so I got some pictures of myself with them. If you're interested in any of these by the way, check out Saber Smith since this is the company that makes all the pretty sharpies I'm holding. Note that all of these were RAZOR SHARP and perfectly honed. You could actually kill somebody with these, which is why most of my poses are not especially dramatic or action-filled. I like keeping my murder-record non-existant.

Me and Spiked Broadsword

SPIKED SWORD OF DOOM. This thing was actually really heavy (you'll note I'm holding the blade at the bottom to help with the balance of it). I imagine if I were allowed to give it a swing or two I'd be using both hands to manage it. But it looks sweet, the balance was pretty good (for somebody larger and more muscular than myself anyway), and were they to twist your blade away the pommel is spiked and pretty damn dangerous.

Me and Scimitar

LOVED this sword, though it's also pretty heavy (note I'm leaning forward and using both hands to steady it). Interestingly this is part of a matched pair that were commissioned for a dancer, so they're weighted and balanced specifically for that purpose. You could balance them on your head if you wanted to. Pretty cool.

Me and Katana

A very hard picture to take because holding the katana correctly in front of the camera made it a very thin line...you couldn't really tell it was a sword. But very cool nonetheless! This was also surprisingly heavy, but seeing as this IS a two-hander blade most of the time, it makes a little more sense. Just look at that shiny gleam on that precision-cutting, ligaments-severing super-blade.

Me and Dirk

Well technically I suppose this isn't QUITE a dirk, but it's roughly the same size. The blade's just a little too thick is all. Still fuckin' cool, since dirks are my alltime favorite blades...they have so many uses! Originally designed as a 'really big eating knife' when swords were outlawed in scotland, this weapon ends up being the all-purpose shield-sword. You can use it alone as a single weapon, or in combination with a longsword or a knife. It makes a great defense with its stout blade and firm grip, or it can be used for offense, especially taking advantage of the wielder's agility. It's the ultimate efficient weapon. I looooove dirks.

Me and Curved Knife

Not an especially practical weapon with its over-designed pommel, but cool looking nonetheless. This is definitely more of a 'wall sword' that you hang up, though.

KARMA GETS BEHEADED

So I think I took too many pictures. I went to pick up that curved dagger in my hand and spun around for my mom to take a picture, and the owner of the shop picked up one of the displayed katanas and started to attack me. Actually it was pretty funny...I laugh when I'm getting beheaded.

AND THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS. Though I had a few other pictures that got deleted because my camera was on low battery. I had a picture taken with me holding a warhammer (VERY HEAVY), and also there was this wicked cool saberstaff that was too high for me to reach, but I loved it to pieces.

Aibou: SHARPPOINTY OBJECTS I WANT I WANT I WANT. That guy's face is WIN. "I AM GOING TO KILL YOU NOW, HEE HEE HEE HEE!"

Crisis: In the attacked pic, the knife in Karma's hands is a Kris...

Karma: Aah, is that it? I don't think it looks especially practical...that looks more ornamental. But I wanted to touch it. And then I got beheaded. Damn.

Reese: DIRK! It's practically a frickin longsword! aside from that though the shops that actually had attached forges, had the most realistic and sturdy wares, I was there a weekend or so ago. The 3 graces brought me up on stage and I was all flusered and like omigosh, cleavage in my face, trying not to get a boner on stage.

Karma: Yeah they didn't have any real dirks sadly...I asked Most statistics rate dirks as 2 feet at the most (including pommel). I'm mostly taking scottish and naval dirks into account here. This one looks like the BLADE is 2 feet long, plus the pommel. Closest I could get. Gotta narrow the blade down some and shorten it a bit, but then we gots a dirk.

Reese: I bought a dagger from la forge, but technically acording to Mass state laws it's a sword...whatever, and no this is not just about swords but about KRF! Here's what you do if you want a naval dirk Karma. You find an old sabre, preferably not a valubal one, cut the blade to the desired dirkish length then sharpen the tip, that's how they made naval dirks in the first place so sayeth the big book on swords that I bought.

Karma: That's a good idea except I have no idea where I'm going to find and old sabre in ye olde Umass Dartmouth

Reese: you can order a cheap one of the intarweb 4 like 20 bucks.

Karma: Hmm... Now how to make it legal in my dorm...

Reese: It doesn't have to be legal if they don't know about it but I would never openly support such actions. What were the weirdest costumes you saw at the faire, like really out of place ones? I saw Darth Vader, a fat gay dressed like kazekage gaara minus the gord, some final fantasy chick, a girl dressed as one of the male soul reaper captains from bleach, and a sweatpants ninja.

Karma: Most people were in character here. There were some vikings, and some people who tried to mix goth with renn and failed miserably, and a few random people wearing japanese stuff. But other than that, most of it was completely in character. They're pretty good about that here.

Reese: O there was a random black guy as a like punk-goth vampire with blue hair

Karma: Weeeeird...Some of the joust-based costumes were really good though. This place has a couple jousts every year. They're cheesy on one level, but once you get past that and start envisioning it a little more they're actually quite funny and amusing. Let's see...

Knights Assembled

All the 4 knights in the competition together...each one represented a different country. The green and blue one closest to us (my guy, the one I was rooting for) was Spain, the yellow and purple one behind him was France, the green and red one was England, and the purple and white one was Germania.

French

I just loved his costume in general. It was pretty nice. Also he was on the 'bad guy side' so I rooted for him just as much as for my own knight.

England

One of the good guys...my enemy that I did not root for. He ended up 'winning' though...tsk.

Germania

He was okay...also a 'good guy' though, so booo him! He "died" first. Yay. Though quite noble about it; he died protecting his ally, the Knight of England.

Spain

My guy. This guy was fuckin' badass XD. He constantly talked about how he 'didn't care' about the vows of chivalry (all the other knights were swearing loyalty with solid "AYE, I SWEAR" 's, and he just yelled "I STILL DON'T GIVE A DAMN!" ) He also cheated repeatedly in most of the challenges and jousts.

Cheating

And he came out with an axe when everyone else had swords.

JMAX: Those swords looked so cool. I want one, then i could bring it to work with me when i do security 3rd shift at the mountain. well, maybe not but it would be cool to own one! They remind me of the movie Highlander.

SG2: Jon, you should steal Andrew's katana and take some pics posing with it.

Crisis: *takes Karma's sword, and adds a disurptor field generator to it* Disurption fields are energy fields that let the weapon cleave through damn near anything but another disurption field. *hands SG2 a chainsaw in glove form, also with a disuption field* There, now you can't say i'm playing favorites

Aibou: I want one... you can never have enough sharp pointy objects.

SG2: I demand photos of Aibou with sharp pointy objects!! ...Though I'm afraid I may soon regret that request!!

Crisis: *hands Aibou a knife that shoots swords that shoots Doom Bunnies that shoot missles that shoots knives that shoot swords that shoot Doom Bunnies...you get the idea* There, know you know not to tempt fate.

Karma: YAY we all have weaponry now!

Aibou: I will take a picture this weekend. ...With my legion.

Crisis: Didn't we already all have weapons to begin with?

Karma: Well now we have...more weaponry! Which is the only thing that is better than having weaponry.

SG2: WORDS TO LIVE BY.

Karma: Damn straight!

SG2: I wanna take pics of me with some kind of super deadly killing weapon *considers digging chainsaw out of shed and having someone snap a pic*

Karma: Seriously I think the ultimate weapon for you is Gamma Akutabi's chainsaw-sword.

SG2: ... *head turns slowly* THERE IS A CHAINSAW...SWORD?! I DEMAND IMAGES PLZKTHX.

Karma: Geeze lemme see if I can find a good shot....Xx; Okay I can't...but it's Gamma Akutabi from Zombie Powder so go look up that intro in your Jumps and you'll see it...he uses a massive chainsaw sword.

SG2: My Jumps are at home *must grudgingly wait*

Karma: okay well it's not as good but... Gamma Akutabi Fanart That's pretty much a copy of the page when he first unveils the chainsaw sword. Then he pulls this reaaaaaallly big chain and that solid-looking white outline on the sword? Yeah it starts spinning. And it's raaaazor sharp.

Crisis: Chainsaw sword = chainsword Chainsaw axe = chain axe Chainsaw glove = chainfist I'll link to high res chainsword pics in a minute. EDIT: Pics 1 2 3

SG2: Chainsaw Glove...This intrigues me.

Crisis: Its basicly a chainsaw attached to the top of your hand, so that you can use the destructive power of chainsaws in a close, confined area where all you need to do is land a punch.

JMAX: I defiantly should! He would never know. *goes to put on some camo for the heist*

Crisis: *hands Jon a stealth suit* XV-15 stealth suits. Complete invisiblity, and offers a full night vision sensor system.

JMAX: Sweet! thanks. now Andrew will never know. *looks for a weapon just in case...oh a can of beer, that will distract him if all else fails.*

Crisis: the right hand has been replaced with a plasma rifle. the beer can is here *hands Jon a beer*

Aibou: I need a prosthetic replacement.

SG2: How lame of you all to need to replace your weak right hands with weapons and other prosthetic limbs. Do you lack such power in your natural-born hand? Fools. ...My RIGHT hand is a chainsaw. ...So I still have my left natural hand. WAHAHAHAHA!!!

Crisis: You know, if her hand is a chainsaw, she's got to have problems doing things like playing doom, quake, and using a DS. Its a shame that she got rid of her right hand...

SG2: Fool, it is a retractable chainsaw. Like that glove you mentioned; it's not in replacement of my hand. And what about Jon? You're the one who replaced his hand with a gun. What do you expect him to do, especially when that was his "good" hand? Fools, all of you. I laugh. Look, look at me laughing at you. I'm doing it.

Aibou: I wonder if SG2 knows that Aibou is laughing because in most of the eastern hemisphere, your left hand is considered your bathroom hand...

SG2: I wonder if Aibou knows that SG2 can read her tiny text as easily as clicking the 'edit' button next to her post. There IS a delete button right next to it, too, fancy that... Lucky for you I am a merciful tyrant. LEMMY, DESTROY HER.

Aibou: Aibou knows now...! ...*stab*

SG2: *has stab proof armor* You keep forgetting about that!!

Aibou: *Pyroblast* YOU KEEP FORGETTING TO MAKE IT FLAME RESISTANT PLZ

Crisis: *follows pyroblast with flaming napalm mixed with razor blades* FLAMING SLASH!

SG2: ...oh right... ... ...fuck. *bleeds* well, luckily for me, and too bad for you, I'm still an unkillable immortal!!

Aibou: oo Hmmz0rz. Must upgrade. *LIGHTNINGBOLT*

Crisis: *drops flamethrower, uses railgun instead* This is supposed to be used on tanks, but i think it'll work well here...

Aibou: oo Wazza railgun?

SG2: I have all your powers, fool.

Crisis: Yea, but you lack my armor plate...

SG2: ...oh yeah...well... well... WELL YOU STILL CAN'T KILL ME!! *sends out the WereKarma* GO, WEREKARMA!! ATTACK NOW!!

Reese: I use my enegry subtitution and energy admixture feats to make my fireball instead del acid and sonic damage, hahahaha, everyone always forgets to protect a gainst those underused damage types, mwuahahahahaha!!!

Aibou: GAME OVER

-> Load file

Reading memory card...

-> Load file?

Loading...

Load complete.

Hiss.

SG2: *uses 1337h4x0r5k1lLz to cause the SG2 Virus to appear in the game* I'M BACK

Aibou: *MALLET*

Reese: *summons edward wong pepleu tiruvsky IV to ocunter-hack in my favour!!!* *also all girl are now wearing revealing miniskirts*

SG2: All girl? All the one girl? Anyways THE SG2 VIRUS IS UNSTO~PPABL~E

Aibou: oo It's so unstoppable it will shoot out of the game code, never to return!

SG2: Do that and you die. Because as a character in the game, you too are part of the game code. But if you really want to choose death over the SG2 Virus and the magical candy that spawns wherever I go, I can't stop you...

Aibou: PFFT, I'M INVINCIBLE AND I WILL DEFEAT YOU ONCE AND FOR-- *death mushroom*

Reese: No one can out-hack Ed, she's the most amazing hacker ther is, period, she even hacked Chuck Norris into existence.

SG2: Well, I activated Edgar, Edgar's Baby Daddy, Edga Jr. AND Edgar's Granny to keep out any of your virus-preventative methods. You can't destroy me. SO SUCK IT

Crisis: Russel got owned by trying to add lgic to something that involved SG2. Such measures are like trying to win Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver...

SG2: Brilliantly said. You get a cookie. It's one of the ones I so easily stole from Russell.

Crisis: did you steal it today, or yesterday? *caustiously takes cookie, making no sudden movements*

Aibou: ; ; I - WANT - A - FSKING - COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!1

SG2: I ALREADY TOLD YOU STOP CONSPIRING AGAINST ME AND YOU CAN HAVE FREE RUN OF THE FREAKING VAULT or just steal some from Russell, either way.

Aibou: ...*steals Reese*

SG2: That works too.

Reese: Hey, hey. There're plenty of cookies to go around, and besides, Aibou treats me better than SG2 most of the time anyways...

Crisis: Russel, you do realize you've been kidnapped, right?

Reese: no, I was stolen, there's a difference.

Aibou: La la la~~`

JMAX: My "good" hand became even better when it was replaced by a gun! I can write with my left and kill with my right now!!! *thinks about who to kill first*

SG2: That would make you...left-handed...? ... IS JON ON MY SIDE?!

Karma: WEREKARMA refused to listen! WEREKARMA fell asleep! Zzzz... ZZzz....

Aibou: SG2 HERE'S OUR CHANCE

SG2: Yes we must gather the weapons now!!

Aibou: Muwahahha. *gathers Doom Legion*

Crisis: i think you mis understood me... The weapon is built into where the suit would have a right hand. However, you inside the suit, operate the gun by squeezing the trigger inside the weapon part with your right hand. The fusion of arm and gun is to make it impossible to drop the weapon, and allow the camo field to cloak it.

Reese:

- Daggers check

-Claymore check

-Katana check

-Dual Kodachi check

-Components for mah spells check

-Silver tongue check

-Mah sexay boday *gyrates hips* double check

Oh, and assorted explosives and missiles check

*makes sweeping hand motion* I'm good to go!

SG2: SSSSH WE TALK DOWN HERE SO WE DO NOT WAKE IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reese: What's 'IT'? Sorry having a hard time getting the code to work cuz o my mac...

SG2: Then hide in the cover of the shadows by making your font black!! DON'T WAKE IT (WEREKARMA) UP!!!

Reese: Oh, I see, Is were-Karma still undead?

SG2: WereKarma is far more deadly than being merely undead. The terror is indescribable. Plus me and Aibou thought it'd be good to fashion armor and weapons from her hide and bones, and with her head, the Blood Countryside would praise us as heroes, etc, etc, LET'S GET HER!!

Reese: You do realize that I'm her Human Servant and cannot allow that, as her geath means my own, and that whole blood ritual loyalty bond thing... But I'm still a necromancer! If wereKarma is undead, and because she's crazy, I would be able to exercize control over her to an extent. It wouls be a battle of wills, really.

Crisis: Karma's will s not so much a thing that can be overcomed. Its more like a hurricane in both strengh and ablity to be influenced. SG2's is on par in all but her ablity to strike Karma (this is again an observation, based upon things that SG2 has said on other threads and in person).

Karma: Hey guys guess what, I can hear you plotting with my superior WereKarma hearing.

Aibou: Fuck!

Lemmy: But how can this be? It's my very painful experience that the WereKarma doesn't retain her sanity in the transformation, so the fact that she could be speaking coherently . . . kinda makes you think, don't it?

Reese: I have everything under control Master, no attack shall be launched upon you while I stand watch!

Crisis: so, we just have to be invisible while we do it...

Reese: I have 2 speres in life and 1 in matter I can detect you.

Crisis: WTF are "speres"? I've never seen a word remotly like that one.

Reese: Sorry, sheres. It's Mage: the Ascention.

Crisis: i took a look at that game, but didn't like the look of it. Its a D2 rip off.

Reese: Again, my bad, spheres. D2 rip-off, you mean D20? D10 system Aka Whitewolf has been around for a nearly as long and is just as good if not better, I tend to lean towards better. They're more intellectual and creative games but their less appealing to beginners because they require more experience to pick up. Now the D100 system, D30 system and D6 system (aka BESM or Big Eyes Small Mouth) are all completely retarded.

Crisis: There is a PC RPG game called Mage: The Acention. Its a cheap (well, better graphics than) rip off of Diablo 2, the ultimate High Res game

Karma: this totally went in a different direction than I thought it would.

SG2: Do you not realize where you are? *points to the giant banner that reads IGNO*

Karma: Right, right. Of course.

SG2: It stayed relatively on-topic for a good 2 pages. You should be proud!!

Karma: YAY I'M AWESOME

Reese: Yeah, mine didn't even last one page.

Karma: I'm sorry to hear that.

SG2: On topic?

Karma: YOUR HAIR REMINDS ME OF JAFFAR.

SG2: Many things I draw these days seem to remind you of Jaffar Actually though I had to make the helmet open like that because I noticed drawing the SG2 where the hair isn't visible just looks really dumb...even if you look at the PokeSG2 (THAT IS SO FUCKIN' RELEVANT NOW THAT I AM A POKEMANZ TRAINER ) I gave myself bangs because it looked weird without...so I had to do something, hair-wise

Reese: My hair is being assaulted.

Crisis: russell's been watching too much of the abrigded Yu-Gi-oh latly

Aibou: You win at life. SG2, it must be really hot underneath all that fur and plate...

Reese: Baby I am mad of win.

Lemmy: You sure are. And I'm mad of even more win, because this is the second time tonight I've gotten to point out typos that have nothing to do with me whatsoever, ZOMG AMAZING.

Karma: Aw, Lemmy's so cute when he thinks he's successful. Look at him, pointing out typos like it makes him a perfect speller! It's so adorable.

Lemmy: I never once claimed to be a perfect speller. However, it does feel nice to be able to point out screw-ups other than my own. LET ME HAVE THIS.

Karma: I never said you couldn't have it. I just said it was cute to watch.

SG2: Lemmy says: Oh, how I love my nothing. How I love to keep it close to me, and embrace the total nothingness of having nothing.

Reese: I hat you guys.

Aibou: We love you too.

Crisis: WE GET TO BE WORN ON RUSSELL'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!11!!one! wait...

Karma: I don't want to be worn on his head, especially because he's supposed to be my servant.

SG2: Should I send my Pokemanz to destroy his hat factory, which is surely just a sweatshop where he forces the poor childrenz he plans to molest (Chibi Gaara, anyone?) to make hats for him all the livelong day, and when night falls... ... ...Well, should we blow up the factory or not?

Aibou: Explosions...? o,o

Crisis: It involves bombs. Count me in

Reese: WHAAT?

Crisis: i'm sorry, but blowing stuff up is far more fun than your hat facotry.

Karma: *snore*

SG2: Wake up, Karma, there are lots of defenseless children we'll lure OUT of the hat factory first, so you can maul them!!

Crisis: Unless of course the bomb has them come out pre-mauled.

SG2: Not when I said we'd lure them out beforehand. Aibou's got candy, kids!! Come on out!!

Reese: What the hell is going on!!

Karma: rrrrrrRRRrr.... *waits in anticipation for maul-able kids*

Aibou: MY FUCKING CANDY ; ;

SG2: *kids come out and take Aibou's candy*

Reese: *mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble*

Karma: *LEAPS ON KIDS* *HAPPILY MAULS*

SG2: Karma, any candy that they have in their pockets can be tossed my way plzkthx...

Aibou: Hissss...

Crisis: psst, aibou, use theif on the trainer...

SG2: *SONIC uses SHINY MONEYS* *SONIC tosses SHINY MONEYS around the corner* Hey Aibou, look. Shiny moneys.

Lemmy: Wow. It's shiny AND it's money-- how can you beat that combination? You can't, because it's the best of both worlds. But can Aibou bring herself to spend the "shiny"?

Aibou: *TWITCH* MUST... DEFEAT... PARADOX...!

Lemmy: It's the chocolate-center diamond all over again!! Psst! Aibou! Use the shiny to BUY shinies. BIGGER shinies.

Crisis: Psst...you can use the shiny money to buy shiner stuff...

SG2: OR SHE CAN USE IT TO BUY MORE SHINIES TO BUY CHOCOLATE WITH.

Karma: What about buying SHINY CHOCOLATE.

Reese: You fools, What have you done?

Aibou: I won. ...*stabs Lemmy*

Karma: I'm so awesome.

Aibou: KARMA'S AWESOMENESS STABS YOU LEMMY WHAT NOW WHAT NOW?!?!?111

Coriander Mankey: roflz......I dunno what to say to this thread...its so darn random even I am having trouble keeping up... thnx, now i are confused

Reese: This is now the official paradox thread. We need to create so much paradox that a wormhole opens up and sucks in the universe. I'll start, I just googled google.

SG2:

Reese: I pronounce the word cliche with the accent on the second half as opposed to on the first half like most people do, thus making cliche no longer a cliche. PARADOX!!

Coriander Mankey: AHH, my brain is exploding...but honestly russ, I think you should start a thread for that! it'd be a good one.

Karma: I'm a vampire paladin. .... What? That's still a paradox!

SG2:

Coriander Mankey: yup, glad someone is on the same page...exactly how I felt.... ......feel..... AHH!

Aibou: *stabs Lemmy*

Karma: And Lemmy's Paradox? AKA the diamond with chocolate in it?

Aibou: KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT DEAD.

SG2: It still exists though. You just chucked it somewhere - you never cracked it o~pe~n...

Aibou: I lasered it open plz. ; ;

SG2: No I'm pretty sure I remember you just sorta chucking it somewhere... And then stabbing Lemmy...

Aibou: I did stab Lemmy... ... *stabs Lemmy*

SG2: Wow, and he's not even here to defend himself. Tough luck, man.

Karma: As opposed to killing it alive?

SG2: OH MAN, YOU JUST REMINDED ME OF...NNNGH, DAMMIT, I CAN'T THINK OF IT, IT'S ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE... There was this one thing you told me ages ago in the library about you saying something like that, and your brother pointed it out to you...and I think I had you post it in stupid stories...freaking, now I can't think of it, it's gonna drive me crazy

Reese: I will kill you 'till you die from it.

Karma: I'LL KILL YOU TO DEATH. And SG2, you're talking about the Niagara Falls story.

SG2: Oh yeah!! What was it, "they walked out alive" as opposed to walking out dead or some such thing?

Reese:

One fine day, in the middle of the night,

two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced eachother,

drew their swords and shot eachother.

The deaf policeman heard the noise,

and he came and killed those two dead boys.

If you don't believe my story's true,

ask the blind man, he saw it too.

PARADOX!!!

Karma: I've heard that one before!

Aibou: o,o THAT'S awesome.

Lemmy: Seconded.

Reese: THIRDED!!! Well, there you have it folks, I'm just plain awesome....I'll be here all week, g'night.

Karma: It makes sense that you're awesome, since I'm the most awesomest thing alive and you're my Human Servant, so of course you get to be awesome, too.

Aibou: Edge wants his line back.

Karma: IT'S MINE RAWR *throws a Lyger at Edge*

Aibou: Edge: GAAAAAHH! *FLEE*

Karma: VICTORY! For the most awesomest person alive.

Reese: And a slightly less shiny victory for me by proxy!!

Karma: Of course

SG2:

Lemmy: Geez, there's a lot of awesomeness going around.

Aibou: *chews on SG2's tail*

Lemmy: . . . is that your response to, like . . . everything . . . ? You gotta figure that that tail is pretty worn by now.

Aibou: oo It's invincible, remember?!

Lemmy: Of this, I was not aware. Carry on, then . . . AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Aibou: How many threads am I chewing SG2's tail in, now? *chewchewchew*

SG2: TOO MANY.

Karma: Just for the record, I'm still awesome.

Cumtastic: uh.. Karma, your awesome-ness can never be taken away.. it is your birth right. Thus you are always awesome and will always be awesome

Karma: Fantastic. Somebody gets it. Here, have a paycheck. *hands over some money*

SG2: ...Okay so care to explain to me WTF this is when you're suddenly tossing around cash like it's confetti?!

Chat Snippet

[23:32] SG2: But yes
[23:32] SG2: I get paid to check on you
[23:32] SG2: Which is why I do it, obviously.
[23:33] SG2: So I check…because I get huge wads of cash every time I ask if you’re alright.
[23:33] SG2: That’s the process, you know.
[23:37] Karma: MONEY
[23:38] Karma: YOU GET MONEY
[23:38] Karma: WTF
[23:38] Karma: I WANT MONEY
[23:38] SG2: …You rule your own country.
[23:38] SG2: You have enough money.
[23:40] Karma: ….
[23:40] Karma: I want money
[23:40] SG2: WTF
[23:40] SG2: BLOOD COUNTRY
[23:40] SG2: JUST…TAX PEOPLE HEAVIER
[23:40] Karma: …
[23:40] Karma: I suppose.
[23:41] SG2: Unless you can land a sweet job like mine.
[23:41] SG2: But I dunno. They’re not easy to come by.
[23:41] SG2: I figure you own your own country.
[23:41] SG2: Tax the Hell out of those mermaids.
[23:41] Karma: sweeet

Karma: Obviously my Blood Country vaults of money have to be set aside for my loyal employees to ensure they remain loyal employees, so I can't spend it for myself. In short, my COUNTRY is filthy rich, but I am broke.

Crisis: ... Is anyone else seeing that possiblities of SG2's fiscal independence should she simply spam Karma with "are you okay?"

SG2: I did indeed consider that because the people who pay me are, apparently unlike Karma, very rich indeed. Buuuuut my credibility as a friend would potentially be lost if I just constantly asked her if she was okay even if she obviously was, so...

Crisis: Well you never know. She could suddenly start to suffer from a heart attack caused by al the meat she eats or some other random and out of the blue illness/condition. My ex-boss laid him self out cold for 3 hours bending over to pick up a rag (okay, granted, slamming his head into a hoisted engine block didn't help him much), so you really never know if some one is okay from one moment to the next.

SG2: ...Considering a spontanious accident wouldn't exactly warrant an answer to 'are you okay' unless the person can see the future, I fail to see your point.

Cumtastic: the point is... the statis can vary from one moment to the next.. also, K is probably really good at covering up feelings so if you consistantly ask if K is OK then you not only look caring but also really intuitive.. and you get money.

Karma: Alright, but what if I like...knocked myself out cold and she asks and I can't answer? Is your payment dependant upon getting an ANSWER, SG2, or just asking? 'cause in the aforementioned situation you could be asking all day and be very genuinely concerned because I'm, I dunno, bleeding out the back of my head or something, but I'm not answering so you're not getting cash.

SG2: A) Karma being referred to as 'K' scares me as a Gravitation fan. B) I get paid just for asking, Karma. I don't need an answer. So if you were out cold yes, I could ask all I want, get paid, and you'd be nonethewiser of my seeming cold and callous about it. C) But I'd still rather keep my friend than get money...

Karma: A) Agreed. B) I question your motives...

SG2: A-heh, come on, you know I was joooooooooking

Lemmy: I'd put on my Lost Jacket, but I like the cold too damned much.

SG2: You shouldn't be lost...because this is all your fault.

Cumtastic: Must find this Gravitation thing....

Reese: Oh, just go to google and enter the search terms "anime", "gay", and "men" and it should be the first search result.

Cumtastic: uh.. that's actually quite intriguing.

SG2: Gravitation is fuckin' awesome. I've had 3 friends - three - who weren't Yaoi fangirls who loved it, as well, because the insanity is impossible to describe and it's just...WTF. It's hilarious. Russell's only afraid of it because he's an insecure closeted homosexual with a severe case of GF (Gaara Fetish). And since Gaara isn't in Gravitation, he's too insecure to check it out. His loss.

Cumtastic: I do have Naruto Fetish.. and Nerds.. Gaara is sexy but.. na. I'll leave him for Russell

Mr. Bones: plus russel is too busy talking to his gaara fetish to care right??? lulz on cross thread referencing

Cumtastic: gah... indeed. WAIT.. he's talking TO his Gaara fetish?

SG2: Yes, as John said; cross-thread referencing. Though Hell if I remember the original thread of that one; I think it's the same one with the DGP discussion.

Mr. Bones: yes he's schizophrenic remember. he talks to himself about chibi gaara and how he gets turned on by him

Reese: What the hell, guys, what the hell?

Cumtastic: huh.. well.. that's fascinating ... and a great research project for Dr.Mae.

Reese: Fine, you guys wanna talk about my fetishes, sure. How aboutwel talk about my actual fetishes? Who here likes being able to sleep an night? Cuz if ya do, you don't wanna talk about MY fetishes. Any takers?

SG2:

Reese: Well played, but you haven't won yet! Oh, no wait you did the moment I joined IGNO didn't you. Trixie Hobbitses.

Cumtastic: I have a strong stomoch. Tell me Russell.. what are your fetishes? BUT be careful dont wanna get DELETED.

Reese: If you really wanna know, you might wanna be on AIM every once in a while, that way we can avoid censoring and painful sobe chainsaw related violence!

Cumtastic: painful sobe chainsaw related violence? wha? not a fetish of yours?

SG2: ...I want Sobe Chainsaws...

Crisis: Chibi Gaara not doing it for him anymore?

Reese: Nope, although I did once have a fantasy involving a...nevermind, I don't wanna get Bampersand.

Karma: I leave you people for a few days and you fall into a dark void of chaos. Tsk tsk. Now leave my minion alone. I need him to plot things. A good vampire Kaiser needs good minions and I can't afford to have them mocked for unproved fetishes. (Though I have to be honest from what I've heard the Gaara one is pretty reliable...sorry Russell).

Reese: That's because you're only hearing SG2's side!

Cumtastic: I'd be willing to back you up... but, apparently SG2 has more experience in your bedroom.... how else would she know?

Mr. Bones: i am sorry mein kaiser but in your absence he has become a /b/tard. even though he is still technically your minion you might not want him to be anymore, plus he also must answer to anonymous as well. i sowwy it is partially my fault. gives sorrowful hug

Cumtastic: SG2.. don't kill me for my last comment.. for one I'm already disemboweled.

Reese: Oh shit! *runsandhide*

Cumtastic: hiding? from what? a past with SG2? hmm? only logical answer.

Reese: Please don't hurt her SG@, she knows not what she speaks!

SG2: SG@? Friend of SG, the torch-ed one?

Cumtastic: I do know what I speak.. and it's not like I'm saying she got with Ville.. I'm saying you.. which in my opinion... you're pretty awesome so she'd have no complaints.. and she'd be luck to have you.

SG2: No offense to Russell but I'm not interested, and besides, it'd never work out. One of us is already involved with someone else. You remember Russell's Gaara Fetish and Asian Rears, right?

Reese: Okay, the asian rear fetish is real (in b4 hide Aibou). And thank you Mae for being the only person on this board to build up my confidence instead of tearing it down.

Cumtastic: Gaara fetish I can live with... Asian anything fetish.. I can also live with.. because I have one of those myself.

SG2: Is Gaara technically Asian? Because Naruto doesn't exactly take place in Japan, but just for curiosity's sake...

Cumtastic: no.. well, I don't think so...

Reese: No, I think he's sorta egyptiany, the wind nation isn't very japan-ish

Crisis: I believe the word Russell was loking for with "egyptiany" is Arabian.

Karma: OTHER ALEX WINS SO MUCH FOR THAT. *gives him a raise*

Reese: nope, I meant Egyptiany.

Karma: He still gets a raise.

SG2: What do I get?

Karma: Well you didn't say anything awesome, so...nothing.

Reese: *shares a cookie with SG2*

SG2: Yaaaaaay!! *eat*

Karma: That's very kind of you Russell, considering she was trying to steal your box of cookies earlier...

Reese: I said that before she stole the box of cookies.

SG2: It's not my fault he didn't specify only sharing one cookie with me and not the entire box.

Karma: Tsk tsk. Not very nice SG2...

SG2: Well he DIDN'T specify!!

Cumtastic: specify or not, you still only take one then say "thank you sir, may I have another?" Wait... is that only when you're getting whipped? I don't really remember

SG2:

Cumtastic:

SG2:

Lemmy: *protects SG2's brain from the implied sexual overtones by absorbing them* *twitches* *collapses into seizure* GOD, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO~!!

Crisis: Are you thinking the line, "please Sir, can i have some more?" from Oliver Twist?

Karma: MOOOOOOOOORE?

SG2:

Karma: Sorry my dad used to quote Oliver Twist a lot >>;

SG2: My dad used to quote Monty Python, mostly.

Karma: I wish my dad would, but he's lame.

Cumtastic: Laurel and Hardy and Abbott and Costello.. My mom quotes them ALL THE TIME.. I ignore her.

Crisis: I'll give you more! More work!

Cumtastic: FINE Crisis... ignore me.. I see how it is.

Crisis: Fine, i'll not ignore you this time... HEY ABBOTT!

Cumtastic: *hand to head* gah.

SG2:

Reese: I love abbot and costello, they win at life!

Cumtastic: they do win at life.

Lemmy: Speaking of which, dont'cha have a date t'morrow with someone who shares your quirk for pairings?

Cumtastic: yeah... yes... he also bought me a flower today.. and took me out to lunch.. wait.. I mean YESTERDAY.. I hate those relitive terms early in the morning... I'm not used to it being today yet... I want yesterday back.

SG2: *puts on Lost Jacket* It's very shiny...I have taken good care to not get it dirty.

Cumtastic: he bought me dinner/movie/arcade and a dozen roses.... I think he may like me... too bad I'm not sure I feel the same... *not really a flower type of girl* Also.. I have very bad bruises from air hockey.. most of which I did to self.. but I'm not sure if the other's ar from Jeremy, Te or D...