The sound of birds chirping was gradually getting harder and harder to ignore, as was the stream of sunlight filtering in through the window. She must have overslept...why didn't the alarm go off? Why didn't Algernon, her vampire butler, deliver her glass of morning blood to welcome the day? No, why didn't any of her friends call to wake her, knowing today was the day of the Christmas Eve party?
Her body still heavy with drowsiness, Karma sat up in bed...a bed she did not recognize. In fact, she didn't recognize anything about this room...this was definitely not a room in Blood Castle. But how could this be? She swore she could remember falling asleep in her own bed last night...and it was certainly rather odd that her lover, Hector, not present in the bed with her. No hangover, either...if she had gone out on a blood bender to where she'd wake up somewhere strange, you'd think she would still be feeling something. So what was the deal?
One foot hit the floor, then the other. Karma walked over to the window that was still obnoxiously leaking sunlight into her unadjusted eyes and pulled back the curtain...wait, sunlight? She was still half-asleep before and only just now realized how unusual and rare sunlight was in the Blood Country - it was tantamount to the sorts of mass casualty-inducing natural disasters you'd find elsewhere in the world, considering the majority of the population would wither into dust at the slightest exposure. But outside that window was more than the sun - she could not believe what was before her eyes. The ground was awash with fluffy snow, with yet more still softly dancing in the sky. A cheerful holiday melody played in the distance, the sort one might hear from an old-fashioned music box. Young living children she didn't recognize, all bundled up in their snowsuits, were laughing and playing. There was a cute little snowman with his stick arm raised as though waving directly at her...further in the distance was a grove of such perfect-looking evergreen trees that Karma could almost smell them from the window. There was a small cobblestone path leading to an open gate, with an unfamiliar human man shoveling a walkway. Beyond the gate were a few quaint-looking buildings, just the kind you might see in the pages of a fairytale book.
This...was definitely not Blood Country. Hell, it didn't look like anywhere in IGNOLand. None that she had ever seen, at any rate. It was almost as though she'd been transported into some magical Christmas village overnight...but there's no way something like that could have happened.
...Right?
She's lost in thought as she opens the door--
“Whoa!!”
...crashing right into someone who was about to enter.
Karma moved to catch him before he fell down the stairs behind the door. It was a young man - looking to be in his mid-20's - dressed in a very formal, old-fashioned style. Almost like a pilgrim, without the silly buckled hat. His blue eyes were wide with surprise as Karma helped him recover, just barely saving the tray of milk and cookies balancing on the tray he had been carrying.
“Oh, I'm so sorry...I should have knocked, but I didn't know you were awake yet!! I-I'll just go--”
Karma stopped him as he began to turn and head back down the stairs, looking embarrassed.
“Oh no, it's okay...but could you tell me where I am?”
The man turned back to face her, smiling sheepishly.
“Of course, sorry about that...you must be so confused. My name is Thomas, and this is my home...we found you passed out in the snow after the storm. You would have frozen to death out there, so my wife carried you here...tough as nails, she is. I was pretty useless...she's out gathering firewood now, so I've been trying to look after you and make sure you'd wake up. You've been sleeping for a while...we were both very worried.”
Karma's eyes widen in surprise. Sleeping for a while? How long...? Had she missed the Christmas party Bones had been so stressed about the evening before? What if it had been even longer?
“H-how long...did I miss Christmas...?”
“Fortunately, you didn't!! Christmas is today, and we're having a party tonight in town square and everything!! You're welcome to go, if you like!!”, he answered enthusiastically.
Karma didn't understand. Last she knew, she was helping to set up for the Christmas Eve party, which should have been today...and yet this man said that Christmas was today? What did this mean, and where exactly was this house? She had fallen asleep in the Blood Country, had she not? Karma's mind was racing...she tried to piece everything together, but she couldn't seem to concentrate. She pinched herself just to make sure she wasn't dreaming...she felt it. Whatever was going on here, it was the real deal.
As she tried to sort these issues out, she suddenly felt a pressure on her leg...looking down, there was a small girl hugging her tightly.
“You woke up, you woke up!! I'm so happy!!”, she chimed excitedly.
“Ah...this is my daughter, Chelsea. She's been at your bedside almost this entire time, talking to you and singing songs...she was really worried. We finally told her she should go play in the snow with the other kids...”
“I'm sorry I left, but I'm glad you're okay!! And look, look!! I made these for you!!”
The little girl held out her small hands...in them were mittens far too large to fit her, but they looked about Karma's size.
“If you wear these, you won't be cold even if you go outside!!”, she said, smiling happily.
Karma wasn't a big fan of children (unless they were on her dinner plate), especially the affectionate ones...but she felt her cold, unbeating heart warmed by this gesture, and she wasn't sure why. She smiled back, kneeling down and putting her hands on the girl's shoulders.
“Thank you very much, Chelsea. I'll be sure to wear them so I stay warm”, she assured the girl, even though as an undead creature she really had nothing to fear from the cold.
“Yay!!”
Karma patted the girl on the shoulder before standing up and addressing Thomas.
“Do you happen to have a phone I could use? I need to contact my friends...”
“Unfortunately we don't...but we're not too far from the town hall, and they have one there you could use. A-ah but wait!! Before you go, you should take a sweater, too...it's very cold outside.”
Thomas grabbed a folded sweater from the drawer inside the room and handed it to Karma. She pulled it over her head as a show of politeness, even if it did make her armor fit a bit more snugly than usual. Chelsea hugged her tightly and begged her not to go, but her father managed to calm her down...thanking them for their hospitality, she headed out the door into the snow.
After a lengthy walk through the quiet countryside, Karma finally reached Town Square. There, in the midst of the lightly falling snow, it was quite the sight to behold...like something straight out of a vintage Christmas postcard. Snow-covered cottages and quaint little shops dotted the feathery white landscape. People bundled up in warm, old-fashioned clothing bustled to and fro, waving to one another...they stopped to make chit-chat with their neighbors, though for some reason the sentiment felt very hollow to the observing Kaiser...well, at least they made some effort to seem welcoming, that was more than she could say for the people of IGNO City. Delicious-looking children were laughing and playing, throwing snowballs at each other...Karma decided to give them a free pass on becoming dinner, since it was Christmas, after all. A horse-drawn carriage passed through, the sound of hooves clattering on cobblestone and jingling bells filling the air with a delightful melody.
...actually, was there music playing? Thinking on it, she thought she'd been hearing it for some time...though these thoughts were quickly blown away by the delicious holiday smells wafting from a cozy little bakery, its walls decorated in a simple yet welcoming style with some holly wreaths. And in the middle of it all...was a massive Christmas tree towering in the center of the square, with a shining star hanging upon the highest bough.
As impressive as it all was, Karma had come here with a specific goal in mind...but she soon saw that she wouldn't need to make that phone call after all. There, in front of what seemed to be a train station, stood several of her friends...hugging their shoulders to fight the cold, they were all engaged in a serious discussion. If they were here, too, no doubt something strange was going on…
“...and he politely pointed me in the direction of the town square, after giving me this wool hat and mittens...”, Iris said.
“That happened to me, too. A kind old lady was there when I woke up, said her husband found me in the snow. She gave me some cookies and milk and this warm scarf, then told me how I could get to the station”, says LG, adjusting the muffler around his neck.
“Odd, that's very much like what happened to me”, Karma chimes in, joining the rest. “I woke up in a strange bed that was definitely not in Blood Castle. A kind young couple apparently found me passed out in the snow. Their little girl was so worried, she stood by my bedside the entire time. She hugged me tightly when I finally woke up and even gave me these mittens...normally I'm not fond of children or physical contact, but it was very sweet.”
They all continued to share their stories of how they wound up in this situation, and curiously enough...they were all very much the same. Though they all remembered falling asleep in their own bed, they woke up somewhere unfamiliar, where a kindly stranger informed them that they'd been found unconscious in the middle of a snowstorm. Not everyone had access to a telephone, but those who did were unable to reach any familiar numbers. The traveler would then depart for town square in search of a phone or a map to find their way back to IGNO City.
At last they were joined by the final two members of their party, Bones and SG2...who had apparently woken up and met at an inn, much to the same situation as the others. The group continued to discuss their circumstances for a time - wondering if they could have been swept away to a strange land by a blizzard, or equally absurd theories, before finally deciding to focus on the facts. Apparently, according to Bones, there was a map inside the very train station where they stood, and with luck it would show them the path back home.
“Alright, let's head inside.”
And just when they thought they couldn't be surprised anymore, there it was. Inside the simple, unimposing train station was a huge, archaic steam engine. It looked exactly like the sort of toy train a young child may unwrap on Christmas morning, sitting majestically atop the tracks. You would never see something like this anymore, outside of an antique museum...the stack atop its great metal head was steadily puffing as the wheels began to spin like immense gears. The blow of the whistle was alarmingly loud as it echoed within the station walls, signifying the grand locomotive's departure. When at last the heavy rumbling had faded out along the tracks, the station was quiet. Tim chuckled nervously, releasing his hands from pinning down his sensitive ears.
“Well, guess we should check that map now, huh?”
They crowded over to the wall, where hung the sort of old map you might see in a fantasy board game. And, perhaps unsurprisingly at this point...there was not a familiar sight to be found. Perhaps the most unusual thing about it, however, was that none of the roads seemed to exit the confines of this closed circle. Surely, at least one of these roads must LEAVE the village, right? What was going on here...?
“Great...this map is no good. Guess we're not going to be having our Christmas party this year”, Bones laments. “Not that it matters, since I went and smashed it all anyway...”
It was then that SG2 pointed out how perfect and Christmas-y the village they had found themselves in was...and that they may as well enjoy the holiday celebration here, and focus on returning home the next day. Everyone agreed...but something didn't sit right with Karma. It really was perfect, wasn't it? She hadn't thought too hard about it before that point - after all, charming winter scenes were as far from the norm in Blood Country's warm climate, and she chalked the 'different-ness' up to her own unfamiliarity...but hearing the stories everyone told of how they were rescued by kind strangers...seeing the decorations, the people chatting on the streets, no one knocking each other over trying to grab holiday bargains...it really was too perfect to be true.
Adding even more weirdness to the table was Bones, who had been behaving very strangely since they arrived...almost as though he were ensnared by some sort of Christmas fantasy. It was true that Bones was always fond of the holiday, making great efforts to throw a party for his friends each year...but he was being uncharacteristically soft and cheerful, even for this time of year. When this was pointed out, he merely laughed it off, justifying these as the perfect opportunity to take a real vacation - well, as a busy Kaiser, Karma couldn't really argue with that sentiment, so she set aside her apprehensions for the time being. Algernon was prepared to handle Blood Country affairs in the event of her absence, as she was often called upon on diplomatic business to Knochenstadt (or simply felt like wandering off and escaping her duties). She was confident that he could handle things for just one day.
And so they all agreed - the world would not stop simply because the IGNOites took a day off on Christmas. There was no way anyone could be so cruel, so hideously evil that they'd commit any crimes on this day, after all...IGNOLand would be fine. It was just one day off...one day!! ...so why did Karma still feel uneasy...? She wondered if, perhaps, she was forgetting something...
“Ah, what the Hell. Let's do it!!”, said Bones, snapping Karma out of her thoughts.
All the IGNOites cheered loudly and high fived before heading back out the door of the station into the square. The plan was to roam around the village, taking in the sights and enjoying being tourists for a change. And while she was also happy to be spending a nice vacation with her friends for the holiday, Karma continued to observe…
And so, the IGNOites ran through the village they had found themselves in, engaging in every conceivably cliched Christmas activity. There was much playing in the snow, laughing and building forts to block and dodge the variety of snowballs...often magically enchanted to do extra damage. Karma eagerly put her Ruination Magic to work, crumbling the enemy's fort into snowy splinters - though she hadn't prepared for xL's toast cannon to launch ballistic snackfoods that looked like snowballs directly in her face. SG2's snow-covered bricks, however, were far more predictable. The war quickly came to an end when Reese and Hamel teamed up, melting everything in seconds...including the snowman that Tim and Iris had been painstakingly building on the sidelines. Karma felt a little bad, but couldn't help but laugh when Azaran chased the two around angrily for the indiscretion.
After that they made their way to the tree farm, which was lined with rows of beautiful Christmas trees stretching as far as the eye could see, their snow-covered tops bringing a festive touch. Nearby was a sort of petting zoo area for domesticated reindeer...they were very docile, letting the IGNOites feed and pet them, though in particular they took an unusual liking to Tim. Then, they joined a troupe of holiday carolers, going from door to door singing joyous songs and spreading good cheer. Karma did her best to conceal her inner fangirl when The Straight Experience brought their own personal touch to the classic jingles...especially her favorite heartthrob, Bradios, though she'd never admit it. Iris tried to join in on the fun, too, playing the banjo she'd kept strapped around her chest...until everyone pleaded with her to stop.
Along their route they found the steam train from earlier, and decided to hop on for a little ride. When it stopped in front of a small theatre the group decided to take in the show of a Christmas classic, featuring a young girl being shrunk down to the magical world of her wooden toy, full of fantastic battles and spectacular dancing. The musical score was what really stood out to Karma...it felt oddly familiar, though it was rather difficult to focus when the rest of the IGNOites were laughing their heads off at the absurdity of it all. Being shrunk down to the size of a toy and dancing around in a Christmas wonderland? It was, after all, rather ridiculous...wasn't it?
The play ended and the sun had set...being winter, it was already so much darker and colder even though it still seemed relatively early. The IGNOites huddled up as the townsfolk gathered around the massive tree in the middle of town square, each one hanging their own personal ornament upon its boughs. But obviously, the IGNOites had not come to this village prepared for such traditions...until a kindly old woman opened her bag and handed each one of them a small, handcrafted charm. When she approached the tree to hang it, Karma spotted a familiar little girl in the crowd...it was Chelsea, and she was holding tightly to her father's hand. Karma looked at her ornament…
She gave me these gloves. I'm sure she'd have more fun hanging this than me.
Making her way through the crowd, Karma reached the girl and her father...though by the time she reached them, they were already...gone? How could that be? They were right here...yet they had already vanished amidst the crowded mass of unfamiliar faces. Was she seeing things? No, she was sure that was them…
As she attempted to regain her bearings, a portly little man approached the front of the crowd...his sash denoted him as the mayor. With a smile and a cheerful proclamation, he flipped a switch...and at once the entire square was alight with festive twinkling. The perfect combination of red and green, of blue and white, of all the homemade ornaments illuminated by the glow.
That signified the revelry was truly about to begin. The villagers gathered in the town hall, where a huge feast had been set upon several rows of long dining tables, their simple white tablecloths not doing justice to the fantastic spread upon them. Anything one could possibly want to eat on the holidays was here- turkey, goose, glazed hams and several fish, sitting beside plentiful portions of cranberry sauce and candied yams, potatoes both mashed and roasted and baskets spilling over with freshly-baked bread. There were plates full of stuffing and bowls full of nuts, green bean casserole and stuffed mushrooms. Butternut squash, brussel sprouts, pigs in their blankets and mince pies, steamed carrots, smoked salmon, and that was only the start!! Tall glasses overflowed with an abundance of beverages - eggnog, hot chocolate, mulled cider and fizzy punch...seasonal beers, sparkling white wine, everything was here. It was almost dizzying before even looking at the dessert table, a feast in its own right set with delicious-smelling baked goods and sweets. Pies of apple and pumpkin, towering chocolate and spice cakes, figgy pudding, chocolate logs, fruitcakes, plates full of all manner of Christmas cookies!! Cupcakes, cheesecakes, brownies, tarts, holiday staples like gingerbread men and candy canes, it was almost like that world of sweets from the play they'd watched just before - everything was covered in festive sprinkles and colorful marzipan, and the spread truly had to be seen to be believed. They may not have had her traditional Blood Country favorites, but Karma was foaming at the mouth all the same.
At the far corner there was a line forming...people wearing tattered clothing were gathering as other citizens spooned hearty bowls of soup for them, and lead them to the long rows of tables. These people were the first to be seated and begin this lavish meal...and there was plenty to go around. A little at the time, the hall filled up, people sitting beside people they may not have even met before. The IGNOites gathered at one such table, sitting on either side and facing one another before setting to work on their own heaping plates. They made idle conversation with their neighbors between mouthfuls of food, laughing and telling what must surely have seemed like tall tales to these townspeople of their fantastic adventures in IGNOLand. It seemed like such a joyous occasion, the perfect holiday meal surrounded by friends...and yet something about it seemed so false.
Her friends, of course, had been perfectly natural...but the villagers, and the setting of it all were not. It seemed too perfect, to the point of being staged...like the play they had watched earlier in the evening, where every actor knew every line, every move, every means of performing the spectacle and making it seem wonderful for the audience. Karma felt like she was sitting in this audience, watching the play go on...with her friends as unwitting participants called upon the stage.
As they finished polishing off their desserts, a conversation arose on the true spirit of Christmas, and how it was about being together. Bones began to speak his thoughts on the matter.
“I'm still not sure where we are, or how we got here...but I think it happened for a reason. We needed to be shown a lesson...Christmas isn't about getting the best presents for your friends, even if it means shoving other people down in order to get it. It's about family, and friendship...about just enjoying the time together with the people you care about most.”
Karma was apparently not alone in realizing how out of character this speech had seemed for Bones...and how he had seemed different all day, like he was lost in a holiday daze. Bones merely brushed the issue aside, and as they discussed where they would spend the night away from home he said he'd already a place in mind. Bones' cape fluttered behind him as he lead his subjects out of the town hall and back into the cold evening. The snow continued to fall without pause...it hadn't stopped even once all day. The music that was playing in town grew fainter as they followed the trail of lit houses along the path, crunching through the snow.
After walking a decent ways, the IGNOites finally arrived at a building with a sign labeled 'The Good Hoof'. It seemed like an inn...actually, didn't Bones say he woke up at an inn this morning? When he knocked on the door and the girl seemed to recognize him, the most likely case was this was where Bones had been brought after his rescue. What was most interesting to Karma, however, was that the innkeeper girl who called herself Linda didn't have the same sense of 'fakeness' about her as the others.
“Sorry to disturb you so late at night...but my friends and I needed a place to sleep, and...”
“D-don't be silly, that's why we're here!!”, she said, smiling gently. “If you follow me, we can make sure rooms are prepared for you and your friends...”
“Are you sure it's no trouble?”, LG said, counting heads. “There are an awful lot of us.”
Linda shook her head, waving her hands as though to say 'no, not at all!!'. She was a little shy, but clearly eager to aid her cold and tired guests.
As she lead the group into the foyer of the inn, they were greeted by an older man - most likely the inn's owner, and Linda's father.
“Welcome to the Good Hoof Inn!! We may not be the fanciest place, but we've got soft beds and plenty of warm apple cider and hospitality to go around!!”
His greeting was friendly enough, and he even offered to let them stay without charge because it was Christmas...but Karma couldn't shake the feeling that he was merely reciting from a script. All the same, considering they were stranded far from home and most of the IGNOites were not as equipped at dealing with the cold as she was, it was hard to pass up such a generous offer. A woman Karma assumed was Linda's mother set a plate of delicious-looking cookies and glasses of warm cider on the table in front of them. Soon after, Linda and an older woman - most likely her grandmother - returned from preparing the rooms, and the grandmother nudged Linda in Bones' general direction. It appeared that she had a small gift for him, which he unwrapped to find an adorable little snowglobe.
“U-um, this has always been my treasure...so I thought, since you were stuck here for Christmas...you deserved a gift, at least...”
As Linda blushed with embarrassment, Bones set the globe down on the table for all the IGNOites to look at...inside was an old-fashioned village with cottages, cobblestone streets and snowy pine trees. There were tiny, hand-crafted figures sculpted with meticulous detail, of villagers, of reindeer, of horse-drawn carriages, and even a little train. In front of one building in particular stood a group of six people - a young girl, a man and a woman who were likely her parents, a grandmother...a man standing beside the girl, her husband perhaps? He looked familiar...as did the short girl, standing a little off to the side of them. But there was no way...it couldn't possibly be...her...? They were all dressed in old-style clothing, and the figurines were so tiny...but she couldn't mistake this hairstyle in a million years.
“Oh go on already ya silly kids, or haven't ya noticed yer under the mistletoe?”
“G-Grandmother!!”
Karma was pulled from her thoughts by the sudden cheering of the IGNOites, who were urging Bones to kiss the girl, teasing him and generally making a lot of noise. Karma had to admit it was hilarious seeing Konungur Bones, normally so gruff, blushing nervously in front of this girl. Adding to the humor of the moment was xL getting brutally shot down by Linda's father, though certainly not for lack of trying.
Bones finally caved and gave her a kiss on the cheek, to the cheering of the IGNOites...though that was quickly silenced when Bones gave them his patented glare of doom. When Linda and the others retired for the night into the back room, the IGNOites agreed that they, too, should be making their way to bed pretty soon - they would have a long day ahead of them tomorrow, trying to find a way back home.
Karma noticed that Bones had stayed behind, sitting on the couch in the foyer while the other IGNOites departed up the stairs...but chose to say nothing. Bones was the sort of man who liked to be alone with his thoughts, and anything she could say right now would no doubt be problematic. And so, she, too, ascended the stairs of the Good Hoof and huddled under the covers...shivering not out of cold, but of the overwhelming sense of dread she just could not ignore.