THE RETURN OF KARMA

Karma: That's right bitches, I'm BACK. Start praising.

Reese: Master, master! At last you return!

Crisis: ...I'm just going to add all previous actions since my last check on to this upcoming one...

SG2: SHE IS RETURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh boy, the things you have missed... ...

... HEY EVERYONE IT'S TIME FOR THE 'THINGS KARMA HAS MISSED' RETROSPECTIVE ON THE LAST TWO AND A HALF MONTHS ON IGNO'!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's see, where to begin... Ah yes, the power of the Rainbow has grown even larger since you left, with new members and some returning ones!! SamuraiMoose AKA Adam joined the forum days after your disappearance and as a result was always totally lost whenever inside jokes or references to 'Karma' came about. MsMadHatter, or Maranda, joined the forum a few weeks ago. She tends to post more in the /random/ board than anything, but do not be alarmed if you see her around. Phil returned right around the time Maranda joined, entering into an epic case in The IGNO Courtroom against Lemmy for custody over the dolphin eggs. Unfortunately it was too old a joke at the time that the new members just didn't get into it, and this failure was added to his many others, causing him to be henceforth dubbed as Epic Fail Guy (or Epic Phil Guy).

Mae has also recently made her epic return to IGNO. This is very notable as Mae was the original second highest poster besides me (not counting cheaters like Sage and IcePrincess). And while in your absence jokes like Pokemanz became less prevalent, new inside jokes have certainly found their way rooted into IGNO culture!! Behold the glory that is Sexy Kibito!! He's big, he's pink, and he's just so amazingly sexy your eyes can't take it all in in just one sitting. We also made Gaia Avatars for everyone who's everyone on IGNO.

In the end though, your not being here was the most noticeable change of all. The frenzied activity of September-October was noticeably diminished, and even the main regulars stopped coming by as often because there just wasn't anything 'fun' to do. Everyone (especially Russell) asked me repeatedly when you were coming back, missing you as such an integral cog in the IGNO machine. Things still happened, but through it all, you were sorely missed. Welcome back, Karma!!

SamuraiMoose: Howdy, Karma! Like SG2 has so eloquently stated, I am Adam. The cool Adam, that is. I am like, the BattleToads of IGNO. I am THAT awesome.

Karma: Glad to see you missed me, and yes, this board just can't live without me. ^_~ I am the lifeblood of IGNO!

SG2: Aaaaah, there's that conceit. Board's been a lot less full of itself without it.

Karma: You know you missed it. THE REST OF YOU, be aware that your Kaiser has returned, and I have once again assumed my position on my throne of the Blood Country. So obey! *also, hands Other Alex his long-overdue check*

SG2: I'm starting to regret saying that you were missed.

Odd: AHHAISFHAKSFHKASFHKAWFHKAEHWI wait should i be posting again?

SG2: NO. GTFO my internets, Epic Fail Guy.

Karma: You know you love it.

SG2: ...you know...Somewhere in this great big world of ours there must be some sort of Karma doll, you know, the kind that says various phrases when you pull the cord, like... *pull* "I'm awesome!!" *pull* "I'm a genius!!" *pull* "You know you love it." *pull* *SQUEAL* "BAN-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!" *pull* "Ooooh...kay then..." *pull* "Deal with it!!" *pull* *unintelligeably growling snarling WereKarma sounds* You get the idea...

Karma: ...I want one.

SG2: You would

Karma: It'd be awesome.

SG2: The only doll you'd ever ask for on Christmas. And you'd play with it more than any other toy because it's just that superior.

Karma: EXACTLY, and I'd take it with me everywhere and it'd be awesome because the only thing that's more awesome than me is TWO of me, because that's double awesome.

SG2: ...T-t-t-two...of you...?! :brainbreak: P-please no...I-I mean you're so...o-one of a kind that uh...it would...ruin how...s-special you are...

Crisis: ...If I may interject in my paymaster's defence, there is no such thing as too much of a good thing.

SG2: YOU MAY NOT INTERJECT, GTFO MY INTERNETS!! ...A-as I was saying, K-Karma...perhaps we want to reconsider my foolish doll idea? It was foolish, afterall...very, very, f-foolish...

Karma: He's absolutely right, and also, take a raise pal. *hands him a bigger check*

SG2: WE'LL SEE HOW MUCH YOUR MONEY IS WORTH WHEN THE WEREKARMA BRINGS THE IGNOPOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Karma: So...how many kinds of apocalypses do we have running around IGNO now, anyway?

SG2: Many kinds. What of it?

Cumtastic: How can one be TOO random? random is good. too much good is never bad. And you'd play with it more than any other toy because it's just that superior. Karma would play with... Karma.. Karma.. refrain from playing with yourself! or refrain from telling us about it! p-please.. I-i mean if-if y-you w-want t-to.. ggg-go a-ahead.. j-just.. *cries* d-don't hurt m-me. I-i w-wont bb-be rrrrrr-random... iiii-I p-promise!

Crisis: No one that i'm aware of ever said being random was a good thing...

Cumtastic: I said Random was a bad THING! to begin with.. then I was handed life, which told me that I am ALWAYS wrong.. kinda like phil always fails.. but more possible since I can't be wrong at being wrong.. and thus can never be right. which makes it wrong.. always. so random is good because I said it was bad and I'm always wrong. That's IGNO logic... or maybe IR logic. Not sure.

Karma: .....Uh...so...I'M STILL BACK. And look, life is returning to the board with my triumphant return. YOU PEOPLE NEED ME, admit it.

Cumtastic: of course we need you Karma... you stop us from doing bad things just because you will do horrific things to us...

Karma: I think you're mistaken. SG2 threatens bodily harm. People just can't hold what little IGNOstyle Sanity they've got here if I'm not here to direct it.

SG2: That's half true. What Karma doesn't want you all to know is that behind the scenes of my special brand of 'law enforcement' and her 'directing the insanity to be more sane' or whatever, she's still taking part in doing horrible things to you all with her with her subtle tricks and mind games. ...But I don't think I was supposed to tell you guys that... ...Uh-oh, now she's gonna harm ME

Cumtastic: well just keep the chainsaw under your pillow and a hachet in your back pack and a switchblade in your pocket and you might not die THIS week.

Karma:

SG2: S-she wouldn't kill me... Like she could, anyways.

Karma: Maybe I can't, but I'm sure WereKarma can.

SG2:

Crisis: *levels a super soaker filled with beed blood* Say the word, and it's SG2 mauling time boss!

Karma: Hm....SG2 did break a few rules by speaking up like that...tsk, tsk... I wonder...

SG2: I don't think so. A) I'm the Admin so there are no 'rules' unless I made them. B) The rules tell Other Alex to behave himself or get another ban added to his already impressive ban list. C) You can't hurt me.

Karma: I just finished telling you against rule #3 that I can't hurt you but WEREKARMA can.

SG2: First off there was no rule #3. It was rule #C. Secondly the WereKarma IS technically you. And finally no you can't because I'm immortal and you know you can't hit me as much as I can't hit you.

Karma: No but I can LEFT HANDED KNIFE you.

SG2: ...Y-you never could. You'd never be able to.

Cumtastic: *watches this conversation like it was a tennis match* anyone have popcorn?

Karma: Okay. Truce then. Since neither of us can apparently attack the other, why not use our attacking skills to attack the FOOD ARMY?

Cumtastic: WAIT... Food Army? Does the U.S. have one of those? Where can I sign up?

SG2: Hm...okay. Temporary truce, though. I mean you know how quickly it takes for us to stop being on the same side and go back to fighting over...nonsense... But yes TO THE FOOD ARMY, ATTAAAAAACK!!

Karma: WAIT. Don't be reckless! We need more than two people to attack the entire FOOD ARMY! I mean, we're good, but we're still outnumbered. We need a PLAN.

SG2: Aw man. I hate plans. You think of something.

Karma: We need to recruit more allies first, and see what powers and abilities we have at our disposal. Until then, keep up your guard at all times, and don't let those food army ninjas get to you!

SG2: We need to get some fat people on our side. Anyone out there know some fat people with malicious tendancies who'd like to join us?

Lemmy: Thank you for lecuring me about the dangerous intent of cookies the other night, Karma. You saved my life. So, like . . . I can give you all the cookies I have, and you'd treat them as POWs, right?

Karma: I'm sorry but execution might be necessary. Because...I'm hungry...and yeah...

Lemmy: Well . . . I don't feel right about it, but it's either them or me . . . *wheels in dessert tray*

SG2: Silly silly mermaid. It's not 'either' them 'or' you...it's both, for mein kaiser *drives a hook into Lemmy's gut and tosses his torn body, gushing blood, to Karma* Feeeeeding tiiiiiiiiime~!!!

Cumtastic: oh no.. not the cookies....Everyone save the cook...Lemmy.

Karma: *GASP* Blood and chocolate! It doesn't get better than this

SG2: Wanna bet? *tosses a vanilla coke into the mix*

Karma: *GLEEEEEEEEEE*

Mr. Bones: i'm with mae on this one.

Karma: I'm thinking that my return is STILL awesome.

Reese: Master you are the awesomest awesome to ever awesome out of pure awesome!

Cumtastic: *concurs*

Reese: Who's the copycat now?

Karma: Why thank you, I know.

SG2: Conceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit

Karma: Well earned.

Reese: It's not conceit if it's true. Which it is....or else!

Karma: You're the best minion I've ever had Russell.

SG2: In the words of Russell, I hat you guys.

Lemmy: That's okay, we hat you too. Oh, except that I wasn't even involved in this in any way.

Karma: Well you DO know I'm awesome. Right, Lemmy?

SG2: ...............WTF.

Aibou: BBQ?

Reese: OMG

Aibou: Reese wins.

Cumtastic: Cracker Jack?

Aibou: AMAGAD WHERE?!

Cumtastic: *shakes box* here?

Aibou: *TACKLE*

Karma: Those have totally un-fun surprise prizes. But because they're so unfun they're fun to mock and thus become fun.

SG2: I never liked the taste of them myself.

Karma: I like it a lot actually. *glee*

Cumtastic: I like them ... ALOT TOO..also, the prizes now revolve around historical figures that go from young to old if you fold the paper right... so I like guessing.. and... folding the paper.. it entertains me forever... quite sad actually...Jeremy says "it's cute how innocent you are until you're walking home alone at midnight.. then it scary how not innocent you are... you're the person I cross the street to avoid.. you might jump me"

SG2: I do that a lot, too. Simple things amuse me greatly. Like my mini slinky, or playing catch with myself in my basement by throwing a tennis ball against the wall repeatedly...

Cumtastic: yes.. balls entertain me... We have them at work and I threw it at D who threw it at Te and then it started a game of catch that was like 2 hours long.... we should have been studying.

Crisis: Can we take this out of context please?

Cumtastic: *head to hand* I cannot believe I said that.

Lemmy: It's about as hard to believe as that an apple is red.

Cumtastic: bananas are yellow.

Crisis: My paint job is this dull, non reflective sand colored yellow...

Cumtastic: aww... the best thing about yellow is the reflectiveness.

Reese: The teams are Dolphin Grey and Gunmetal Grey.

Crisis: I'm a military unit. Reflective paint makes me easy to spot. if i can be seen, i can be shot. I don't like being shot.

Cumtastic: I suppose... then why not choose an already dull color?

Karma: WOW that's another thing we have in common then. I hate getting shot too!

Cumtastic: I like being bullet-hole-less

Karma: Swiss cheese isn't my look, I agree.

Cumtastic: see that's why I like you K... we get along so well... you should employ me.

Karma: Got a resume?

Cumtastic: I'm a wet pokemanz.

SG2: But your TRAINER is RUSSELL...he is the RIVAL TRAINER...and KARMA is my POKEMANZ...she is obligated to fight against the POKEMANZ of my RIVAL TRAINER. So it would never work out. Unless we followed non-Pokemanz logic wherein she's the Kaiser of Blood Country, and not a Pokemanz, and you're...Mae...the non-Pokemanz...who is just looking for employment. Yeah.

Cumtastic: I refuse to answer to that name that is not mine .. *holds strike* Let's use non-pokemanz logic.... K is Kaiser. Russell is her underling. Russell likes CT. K likes CT. CT will die for K. K should provide home for willing human sheild. //end_argument

SG2: I call Other Alex, Russell, John and everyone else by their real names, so why not you? If Karma can be K, then CT can be Mae. Because it is Rhyming Day. ...Yay.

Cumtastic: *refuses* I don't call you by that name that shall not be mentioned... so I expect the same.. I've asked. Nicely even. But now, I will them K and Russell and Bones and Crisis and Moosey and so on.. I will refer to myself as CT. If I wanted to be called that, I would have made my screenname that.. I had a chance.. I refuse. *throws tantrum*

Karma: K confused me at first, but now that I know she's talking about me I actually kinda like it. Also, I do in fact like to give homes to my willing meatshields, and benefits too.

Lemmy: Verily, you are the most generous of all Blood Kaisers in this vast, vast land.

Karma: And don't I know it.

SG2: ...There are more than one...?

Cumtastic: Well... there are more than 1 Kaiser... I dono about "blood" kaisers though.. so.. I .. I reall.. really have no idea. *shuts up about the name thing, accepts it, moves on... changes signature*

Karma: Well I AM the founder of the Blood Country, but I'm sure there will be more following in my footsteps in a distant age.

Reese: *has no idea what she's talking about*

Cumtastic: *catches Bfenix up* Lemmy said "Verily, you are the most generous of all Blood Kaisers in this vast, vast land." which implies that there is more that one Blood Kaiser. Karma agreed that she is the most generous SG2 thought that there was only one Blood Kaiser.. and was confused. Karma said that she is the only one... so far. Get it?

Reese: I meant the other part of the post. /facepalm

Cumtastic: oh.. well specify next time..I was asking her not to call me Mae because I don't call her Alex.. but then she's like I'm going to do as I wish.. and then I gave up.

Mr. Bones: *puts on lost jacket* still lost and confused. i thought karma was the one and only kaiser of blood country. i continue to believe that too because she gave me my club, the bone yard.

Crisis: I get it all prefectly. Karma is the First Blood Kaiser, and since she's practicly immortal, seemingly the only one of them. However, she's thoughtfully left a door open for herself where she could leave the position should she no long be interested in politics.

Cumtastic: *shock and awe* he totally gets it... now why don't you two?

Crisis: Now that is a secert i do not know.