August 23, 2011
SG2: KARMA IS DISAPPOINTED
SG2: YOU WEREN'T SERIOUS ABOUT GOING STRAIGHT FOR HER
LG: im sorry
LG: karma
SG2: Karma can see you here
LG: i have a question
LG: what should i get a webcam or a mic
xL: BOTH 😛
SG2: Mic/headset
SG2: If it has to be one or the other
xL: Yeah, headset would be more fun if you can only have one
IGNOBot sets mode +v Tim
Tim has joined #igno
SG2 is now known as Karma
xL: TIM TIM TERRROOOOOO
SG2Tiger gave Karma her laptop
Karma: Yes I agree...mic is better, that way we can still talk 🙂
SG2Tiger: Right
SG2Tiger: No sense watching you...type
Karma: If you need to see me I'll give you a pic ^_~
SG2Tiger: Lol
SG2Tiger: And having to read that
Tim: x.x
LG: lol
Tim: Hai xL 🙂
Tim: I'm only here briefly
Tim: Just waiting for a friend then heading home
LG: sweet ill fap to that
xL: I wanna see Tim on Skype
SG2Tiger: She's laughing
SG2Tiger: At the fap remark
Tim: xL, why? 😮
xL: Why not?
Tim: And maybe when I get home :p
LG: lol yakarma ive never felt this way about a woman before
Tim: Anyway I'm off :p
Tim has quit IRC: Quit: *snuggles*
xL: Oh shit o_O
xL: I see....
LG: i think im straight
Karma: daw, I'm flattered 😀
SG2Tiger: Uh-oh...
xL: A WOMAN
SG2Tiger thinks the wedding is off...again
LG: ik
LG: *idk
xL: I THINK I just hung up on SG2...
SG2Tiger: I think you need to prove your love, LG
SG2Tiger: XL, I hung up on you
LG: to whp
xL: WTF man
SG2Tiger: No sense in videochatting at this point
xL: Yeah, I know 😛
SG2Tiger: It didn't go as planned, and when I connected I couldn't see you anyways
SG2Tiger: We can try it tomorrow or something if LG gets a mic
SG2Tiger: (IMO, headset > mic LG)
xL: That's because I had the camera off 😛
LG: lol
SG2Tiger: Anyways
SG2Tiger: That Big Gay Wedding
SG2Tiger: Cancelled?
LG: idk
SG2Tiger: Or is this part of John legalizing polygamy in IGNOLand
LG: mts would kill me
SG2Tiger: Are you gonna try to marry XL AND Karma?
LG: mhm
SG2Tiger: In addition to your slave-wife Bradios?
Karma: I'm afraid I'm not looking for a long-term commitment like that
LG: lol how bout a one night stand
SG2Tiger: But Karma
SG2Tiger: What about Hector
Karma: Well, Hector and I already prettymuch HAVE a committed relationship in a way...
LG: ?
SG2Tiger: A committed sexual relationship
Karma: but LG I'm okay with a one-night thing
SG2Tiger: (Hector is fictional just FYI)
Karma: or y'know...more, if you like the straight experience 🙂
LG: okay sweet
SG2Tiger: LG honestly
LG: im glad for just one night
SG2Tiger: I think the reason that you got put off of straight experiences was PWR
SG2Tiger: She's bound to ruin your perception of things like that and make you run for the hills in terror
SG2Tiger: So maybe she was a bad example
LG: maybe
LG: so karma
Karma: yah?
LG: how does the straight experience start
SG2Tiger: Lol
SG2Tiger: LG needs the walkthrough?
LG: woah that sounds like a boy band
SG2Tiger: YES
SG2Tiger: THE STRAIGHT EXPERIENCE
Karma: I
Karma: d buy their albums
LG: so would i lol
xL: Sounds like a punchline for Viagra
Karma: lol
LG: 😀
LG: but really do you want me to light some candles?
Karma: weeeeeell that depends....are you into a really romantic one-time fling, 'cause we could do dinner and candles and nice music...or we could just...skip that part.
LG: well what do you want ;P
SG2Tiger: IMO ease him in
SG2Tiger: He's not used to being straight
SG2Tiger: Take it slow
Karma: Ah, that's a good point, we'll try that then
SG2Tiger: Some gay dinner
xL: I hope LG isn't pulling a Murphy
SG2Tiger: Followed by some straight dancing
SG2Tiger: Mix it in so it feels natural
xL: awesomeness point to whoever can get that...if I may do so 😛
LG: im very excited
Karma: hrm, that sounds fair, little of both so it doesn't feel uncomfortable
LG: lets go to peckers
LG: its like hooters
SG2Tiger: (you may offer your awsms to whoever you wish, but I personally don't get it)
SG2Tiger: Wow
SG2Tiger: Well
LG: but with hot boys instead
SG2Tiger: It would appeal to both parties
Karma: I'm okay with that ^_~
xL: Darn...
LG: sounds great
LG drives karma to peckers
SG2Tiger: Followed by gay dinner and straight dancing?
SG2Tiger: o_o
SG2Tiger: I guess the date is tonight
Karma: S'okay with meeeee
LG: they have the best weiners here
Karma: fantastic
LG: Do you like weiners
Karma: Are talking food, or....something else....although really, both are acceptable 😀
xL: He's buying you a doggie 😛
LG: food
SG2Tiger: Well, she could eat either, in theory 😉
LG: xL are you our waiter
LG: and SG2Tiger is our cook
xL: I'm the Limo driver
Karma: It's good food 😀
SG2Tiger: Since when do I work at Peckers D:
LG: Im glad you like it
Karma: 🙂
xL: SINCE NOW
SG2Tiger: Well, if I'm the chef, compliments to me
Karma gives SG2 compliments
xL puts a cook hat on G2's head
xL: *SG2
SG2Tiger: Who is this G2 person
LG: ^^
SG2Tiger: Give me back my hat, jerk
Karma: is it like SG?
SG2Tiger: G2 has no place in my restaraunt
SG2Tiger: YES
SG2Tiger: POOR INNOCENT SG
LG: 😮
SG2Tiger: Got torched to cinders for no raisin
xL: o_O
LG: so karma now what on our date?
xL: The dumpster out back
SG2Tiger: ...for food...or sex...?
LG punches xL
SG2Tiger: I can't tell which he meant
LG: anything idk how to straight date
xL: That's for them to decide 😉
LG: do i sing you a show tune
LG: ?
SG2Tiger: NO
SG2Tiger: TOO GAY
SG2Tiger: WE DON'T DO SHOWTUNES ON STRAIGHT DATES MAN
LG: awwwwww
xL: They watch football and drink beer
LG: can we go try on clothes
Karma: Straight dating isn't that hard! We could go see a movie, or go dancin', or we could just head back to your place 🙂
Karma: but
Karma: um, well I guess we oculd LG
Karma: only I would be
xL: I gotta go guys
Karma: the man of the relationship typically does not
xL: I'll see you all later
SG2Tiger: Dang
SG2Tiger: Night XL
Karma: see you XL
xL: Night
LG: i like the idea of heading back to my place
LG: byez xL
xL: <3
LG: im stright now
LG: so can i drink martinis?
SG2Tiger: Can you prove it...where it matters? 😉
LG: sure
Karma: I don't think there are any rules against martinis specifically, just...don't drink them too uh...specially...>>;
Karma: but no fruity drinks
SG2Tiger: You have to take your martini like a straight man, LG
LG: i was gonna get an appletini
SG2Tiger: I think that's too gay
SG2Tiger: But that's Karma's call
Karma: Better pass on the appletini, man....better to save that for a gay night I think
LG: okay
LG: lets go back to my place
Karma: Sure 😀
LG: ;P
LG: and ill stick my penis in your ummm hole
xL: I asked SG2 out
xL: She ran away D:
LG: wtf
LG: i forgot about you
SG2Tiger: XL lied and said he had to go
SG2Tiger: HE WAS TRYING TO STRAIGHT DATE ME IN REVENGE
SG2Tiger: runs off crying
xL: I DO have to go
SG2Tiger: HOW DARE YOU TRY TO RUIN THEIR SPECIAL NIGHT XL
SG2Tiger: LG WAS ABOUT TO STICK HIS PENIS SOMEWHERE STRAIGHT
Karma: uh well, that is the way we straight people typically do it, but not quite so...uh....straightforwardly
xL: But I totally asked her first
LG slaps xL in the face
LG: whore go away
LG snaps in the z formation
Karma: woah woah there man
Karma: no z formations
Karma: you're a straight man now
Karma: just punch him in the face
LG drives karma back to my place in my minicooper
LG: okay :/
SG2Tiger: It's okay man, she's trying to help
SG2Tiger is not sure why she is still tagging along on the straight date
LG: youre recording it
LG: for me
SG2Tiger: FOR THE GAMESHOW STRAIGHT DATE?!
SG2Tiger: Daw
LG: okay
xL: It's going to be on Cheaters
LG: if i go all the way do i win something
SG2Tiger: Poor XL 🙁
SG2Tiger: Now he knows how it feels to be dumped
SG2Tiger: LOL
SG2Tiger: Shouldn't Karma be the prize? 😉
LG: yes
Karma: Um...the satisfaction of knowing you successfully completed a straight date?
SG2Tiger: Could you really ask for more
LG: okay lets go to bed hunny
xL: Well, at least someone is getting laid tonight...
LG punches xL in the face
LG: like that?
xL: AGAIN
Karma: yes, very good job
LG jumps up and down while clapping
LG: fail
Karma: okay tone it down a little bit sweetheart
LG: okay
Karma: more stoic, less excitable
LG: so how does sex start?
xL: You lick the vagina
xL flies away
LG looks at karma
Karma: gotta work up to it of course 🙂 Got any romantic music, are you good with massages? And uh...maybe we should get rid of the watchers? >>;
LG: do i?
Karma: not...quite...LG >>;
LG locks sG2tiger and xL out
LG: im very good at foot rubs
xL: LOCK US IN THE OTHER BEDROOM
Karma: that's a start
LG takes off karmas shoes and stoart to rub her feet when she is on my bed
LG: i love your nail polish
SG2Tiger runs far, far away from XL
LG: very fabulus color
SG2Tiger totally did not leave the camera in LG and Karma's room
LG: bad spelling sorry
Karma: okay first off sweetheart I don't wear nail polish...secondly, don't comment on a girl's nail polish.
Karma: and don't ever use the term 'fabulous'
LG: okay
LG: so now what
xL: So, SG2...I know of a great place to get a one-of-a-kind Happy Meal
SG2Tiger burrows underground where XL can never find her, even with his heat-seeking penis (that he probably does have)
xL: It's called McFuckers'
Karma: now we do this
LG: now do i kiss you
SG2Tiger: DON'T YOU HAVE TO GO TO BED MAN?
Karma: yes you can kiss me I guess >>;
LG kisses karmas cheek
xL: I'm laughing too much to leave 😛
Karma: that's uh....well, that's a start, LG, but uh...try something like, not my cheek...try my mouth >>;
LG: how about an aussie kiss? its like a french kiss but down under 😛
xL: Or one of her other various enterances
SG2Tiger: o_o
LG pecks karmas lips
xL: SG2, you can take me to bed
Karma: just a...okay uh...LG, am I just a friend? Really? 🙁
LG adds tounge
IGNOBot sets mode +v MrBones
MrBones has joined #igno
xL: I need a Suppository, SG2
Karma: that's better
MrBones: I'm baaaaaaack
SG2Tiger: that's not very straight, XL >.>
IGNOBot sets mode +v Tim
Tim has joined #igno
LG fondles karmas boobs
MrBones: Lol
xL: John can give one
SG2Tiger: karma is trying to teach LG to be straight
Karma: oh good, now you're learning, that's definitely not gay 😀
Tim: O.o
LG starts to lift karmas shirt up
MrBones: Degayifying igno?
SG2Tiger: Recap for everyone who just joined: LG and Karma are trying to have Straight Sex
xL: Tim, I need a ripe banana
Karma closes the door and censors the rest of the interaction because there are too many watchers now
SG2Tiger: Dang
SG2Tiger: We'll just listen through the door then
MrBones: 🙁
Tim: xL: What for? 😮
SG2Tiger whispers to the others
xL: palmface
Tim passes SG2Tiger a cup
SG2Tiger: It's okay
SG2Tiger: My video camera is still recording
MrBones pulls out xray glasses
LG: so
LG: i think you are so beautiful
xL attempts to take Mr. Bones to the cheap motel next door
MrBones staps xL
Karma: daw, you're sweet 🙂
MrBones: Yes staps
xL: o_O
SG2Tiger locks XL in a rape-proof cage
SG2Tiger: Stop it, you
LG kisses karma again
MrBones: Russ went to bed
MrBones: He's tired
SG2Tiger: No prob, we'll all get together tomorrow
LG: from her arms to her lips
SG2Tiger: Me and Karma will be up for a bit yet, though, if you wanna hang out here
MrBones: Oddly I'm not
SG2Tiger: And listen to the Straight Date
Tim finds this most peculiar
xL: Tim, I need you
MrBones: It won't last
MrBones: Remember vage's make lg supergay
Tim hugs xL :3
LG: so now what'
SG2Tiger: We'll see
SG2Tiger: He's making a solid effort
MrBones: Or should I say a supergaiyan
SG2Tiger: (OMG yes, that needs to be LG's new transformation)
Tim: His pubes turn yellow? >>'
SG2Tiger: (and spiky)
LG: karma now what should i do
Karma: you...relaly don't know what comes next? >>; Uh....maybe we should take this a little slower to not put quite so much pressure on your transofrmation to straight >>;
LG: okay
SG2Tiger: Maybe she needs to dump you for a real man...
SG2Tiger glances at XL
SG2Tiger: ...nah.
SG2Tiger: I said real man
LG: hahahahahaha
LG: so ummmm
LG: do we kiss more?
Tim passes LG a dummies guide to sex
SG2Tiger glances at it
SG2Tiger: ...Tim
SG2Tiger: This is a guide to GAY sex
SG2Tiger: :/
Tim: 😮
SG2Tiger: We need the STRAIGHT one
Tim: Whoops! 😡
LG: because while that was fun im not sure how i feel about it
Karma: ........>_>....okay y'know what...I dunno about you, but I've totally lost my vibe for the night, you're just...not doing it for me so far...
xL: Hey Karma
IGNOBot sets mode +v IGNO71777
IGNO71777 has joined #igno
IGNO71777 is now known as Littlegoten
xL: I can provide you with an unforgettable experience
Tim finds the straight version for LG
xL: I can sing it to you, too
SG2Tiger: Showtunes?
Karma: oh? I'm listening.
xL: No
xL: It's a rap
LG: :O
Karma: I guess that's technically not gay.
SG2Tiger: That feels gangstah enough to be straight, yeah
LG: karma
LG: im not gay
SG2Tiger: ...
SG2Tiger: Wait.
SG2Tiger: What.
LG: i wanna fuck your pussy
SG2Tiger: Did LG just say...
SG2Tiger: "I'm NOT gay"?
SG2Tiger: O_O;
SG2Tiger: THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH
xL: Karma, you know you want my rap
Karma: I...uh...as pickup lines go, LG, that one is...really, relaly bad >>;
SG2Tiger: (and I would know, IGNOLand has had many of those)
SG2Tiger: Well
MrBones: Lol
SG2Tiger: Being forward is the mark of a straight man?
Tim: Brb
SG2Tiger: Getting right to the point
Littlegoten: i wouldnt believe that guy
MrBones: There are worse
SG2Tiger: Not wasting time
Littlegoten: i just woke up in tims base ment
MrBones: Like this one
Tim has quit IRC: Quit: *snuggles*
SG2Tiger: ...
SG2Tiger: Wait...
SG2Tiger: Is the straight LG...a clone?
SG2Tiger: >.>;
Littlegoten: he asked me to have a drink last night
Littlegoten: so i said yes
Karma: o_o wait, I've been trying ot teach a clone to be straight?
MrBones: Hey karma if I said you had a beautiful body would you take off your pants and dance a little
SG2Tiger is laughing IRL
LG: I KNOW HOW TO BE STRAIGHT NOW GIVE ME YOUR PUSSY
MrBones: I find the most sensual part of a woman to be the boobies
Karma smacks MrBones
MrBones: Lol
SG2Tiger: Erotic
SG2Tiger: Not sensual
SG2Tiger: You clearly have a very sexy learning disability
MrBones is now known as Zapp_Brannigan
Littlegoten: and i woke up without any memory after the first appletini
SG2Tiger: So...the real LG is still gay?
Karma: oh my
Zapp_Brannigan: What do I call it again SG2Tiger ?
Littlegoten: fuck yea
SG2Tiger groans
SG2Tiger: Sexlexia
Littlegoten: xL i love you
Littlegoten: i cant wait to marry you
SG2Tiger: So that means more clones are on the loose
Zapp_Brannigan: sg2tiger I have mated with a woman
SG2Tiger: But what about XL?
Zapp_Brannigan: Inform the men
SG2Tiger: Is he still turning straight out of jealousy?
Littlegoten: is that the real xL or a clone
Karma: I'm so confused @_@
Littlegoten: tim has almost everyones dna
SG2Tiger: Only the clones are interested in Karma? D:
Zapp_Brannigan: Lol
IGNOBot sets mode +v IGNO47852
IGNO47852 has joined #igno
SG2Tiger: doesn't know what to do with this video tape now
Littlegoten: :O
IGNO47852 is now known as xL71
SG2Tiger: No one's gonna buy this hawt sex tape
Karma: why do you havea video tape >>
SG2Tiger: There's no sex on it
SG2Tiger: ...uh
SG2Tiger flees
Karma chases
IGNOBot sets mode +v IGNO19046
IGNO19046 has joined #igno
SG2Tiger: O_O
SG2Tiger burrows underground
Zapp_Brannigan: What drives a man to be neutral
Karma goes WEREKARMA and pursues with angry furious vengeance
IGNO19046 is now known as xL771
Zapp_Brannigan: Money
SG2Tiger: B-BUT!!
Zapp_Brannigan: Power
SG2Tiger: I WAS GOING TO SHARE THE MONEY WITH YOU
Karma tears the tape apart and then proceeds to do the same to SG2
Zapp_Brannigan: Or were you just born with a heat full of neutrality
SG2Tiger cries
xL771: I WILL FUCK SG2
Zapp_Brannigan: Heart*
SG2Tiger: ...lol a heat full of--
SG2Tiger: WHAT
xL71: Well, I want Karma
Littlegoten: AHHHHHH SO MANY CLONES
SG2Tiger FLIES AWAY
Littlegoten IS SCARED
Karma is still werekarma and like as not to kill anyone who approaches
LG: HAHAHAHAHA MUST OBEY TIM
xL: I want LG
Zapp_Brannigan: Too many clones
SG2Tiger: Srsly
xL71 goes after Tim
SG2Tiger: I'm getting confused now
Littlegoten: me too
SG2Tiger: XL
Littlegoten: like for serious
Zapp_Brannigan throws the clones at werekarma
SG2Tiger: Kill your clones
xL71 has quit IRC: Quit: Page closed: IGNO Webchat - http://ignoirc.co.cc:9090
Cowsy slaps SG2Tiger around a bit with a large trout
Zapp_Brannigan: DINNER
SG2Tiger: ...thank you
xL771 has quit IRC: Quit: Page closed: IGNO Webchat - http://ignoirc.co.cc:9090
Littlegoten: i love cowsy
Karma rips the clones apart and proceeds to feast upon their blood and flesh as they scream for mercy
SG2Tiger: O_O
Littlegoten kills LG
Cowsy: o.O
Timzzzz is now known as Tim
LG has quit IRC: Quit: Page closed: IGNO Webchat - http://ignoirc.co.cc:9090
SG2Tiger: But...I thought littlegoten was the real one
Cowsy noms Tim
SG2Tiger: Cowsy is also female
SG2Tiger: ...and a cow
Littlegoten is now known as LG
LG: no
LG: i love her because she hit you
SG2Tiger: D:
LG kisses xL with tounge
Cowsy nibbles SG2's tail
LG: love you
SG2Tiger: X_X
Cowsy: :3
LG: YAY COWSY
Karma is still munching on clones
SG2Tiger throws one of hamel's cupcaeks at the werekarma
SG2Tiger: CHANGE BACK
xL: NOW I gotta get off
Karma devours cupcaek
LG: bye hun
Karma blinks
LG: call me tomorrow
Zapp_Brannigan: That's what she said
xL: LOL
Karma: oh
Karma: bye guys
LG: leave me a voice mail in the morning
SG2Tiger: Bye XL
xL: Night
xL: Kay
SG2Tiger: >.>
SG2Tiger: (whore)
Cowsy pokes Karma in teh eye
Karma: O_O
Karma bites Cowsy's limb off
Zapp_Brannigan: Lol
xL: But I seriously have decided to make a rap
SG2Tiger: Record it
LG: better be about me
SG2Tiger: And play it for us
xL: SG2 loved part of it in the PM I sent her
Cowsy: not O_O shuld be O_#
SG2Tiger: I'll sell it as a sex tape and make millions
SG2Tiger: I mean what
SG2Tiger: Oh wait
SG2Tiger: "Pull on my cape, you're my bait, please don't hate, this isn't a date, it's your fate, you gonna get a rape"
Zapp_Brannigan: It couldn't be worse than what's currently played on the radio
Tim is so fucking confused now ._.
SG2Tiger: ^ that was part of your rap?
xL: DAMN YOU
xL: That was secret >.>
Cowsy licks Tim
SG2Tiger: You should have thought about that before sharing it with me
SG2Tiger: I DON'T KEEP THE SECRETS OF TERRORISTS
SG2Tiger wails on XL
Tim hugs Cowsy
xL: Anyways, night
Karma: niiiight
xL has quit IRC: Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.87 [Firefox 3.6.20/20110803131630]