Publish Date: March 4, 2013
Featured Characters: LG, Bradios, MTS, SG2, Tim
Wordcount: 1,067
Status: NON-CANON
I then decided to parody LG’s parody by making a character called UltimateYaoiFan4Ever, who would write deliberately terrible fanfiction set in IGNOLand. I wrote three stories in this style, but this is by far the favorite, and a true masterpiece if I do say so myself. Somehow it just always manages to get my giggles, and to this day I have yet to write another UYF4E story (not for lack of trying) that has managed to top this.
These parody characters of ours would later go on to become IGNO characters in their own right – UTTF4L became Tru, and UYF4E became Ten.
So This Tim Im Writing A Story About LG And His Adventures.
As U Al Know LG Hosts The Radio SHow In Ingoland, His Name Is VJ Dizzy LG, BecaUS vAginas Makes Him Dizzy. As You Can Guess His Show Is About Penises And Thats Mostly What He Talks About Until :Listeners Call I n And Yell At HIm To Talk About Something Else. But He Never Listens To His Callers So Its OK. Butt One Day A Caller Asked Him A Very Interesting Question He Had Never Heard Before...The QUestoon Was Why Dose Balls Touching Makes U Gay.
LG Always Knew Balls Touching Ment Its Gay, And Had A Hobby Of Going Around Ingoland To Touch Balls Of Other Men And Then Dance Away Laughing That They Cought His Gey. But He NEver Stooped To Think Of Why That Happned B4. The Caller Made Him Think Long And Hard (Gettit, Liek A Penis) About This And He Decided He Must Go Of On A Quest To Dicsover The True Answers. So He Said 'First I Must Seek Out A Wize Person' And Flew (Yes, LG Can FGlly) Up To Bradios Banks To Ask King Bardios. 'Lord Bardios', He Sed, 'I Kno U Have Experience Being A gAyFace So I Wanted To ASk How Balls Touching Made U This Way'. Bardios Thought Long And Hard (Hehe) And Said 'Well LG The Answeer Is Quit Simple Really. The Sound Of Balls Topuching Attracts The Balls Wolf.'
LG Was Puzzled...He Had Been Alive For Many Centuries On This Planet And Was An Expert In All Things Gay, But He Had Never Heard Of The Balls Wolf. So He Asked 'Bardios Are U Lying To Me?' And Bardios Sed 'No LG Why Would I Make That UP Its Not Like I Have A Gruge Agauinst U For Tapping Me And Tims Balls' And LG Said 'OK I Belive You'. So He Decided To Grab His Legendary Sword And Swet Off Into The Forests Of Ingoland To Find This Balls Wold. So He Ventured Deep Into The Forest Of Illusions And Before He KNew It He Was Sorrunded By Boob Demons!!!!!!!!!! LG Started To Cry And Sed Pls Dont Hurt Me And Thasts When Miss Tit Sorcerus (MTS For Short) Appeared. She Said 'Oh LG I Didnt Know It Was U These Are My Guards Against Intruders' And She Invited Him Into Her Garden In The Forest. LG Asked Her If She Knew About The Balls Wolf Since She Lived In This Forest For Many Centuries And She Said That Even With Her All-Seeing Nip Eyes She Had Never Seen Such A Creature In These Woods. LG Said This Can Mean ONly One Thing...
...It Must Not Live In The Woolds!! MTS Face Palmed But LG Did Not Know Why, So He Just Bitch Slaped Her And Left The Woods. His Wandering Travels Led Him To IGNO City So He Decuded To Go Down Into The Libarry And See If Any Of THe Ancient Books Talked About This Balls Wolf. He Knew That An Evil Bring Named Cross Had Written Countless Books About Ingolan's Dark Histories In The Thousands Of Years So Surely If There Was A Balls Wolf It Would Be In This Library. So LG Stayed In The Library FOr An Untold Period Of Time And Before He Knew It Had Been 50 Years. He Came Out Of The Library Covered In Cow Webs And Had A Big Gray Beard And His Close Were All Torn And Ragged Because Thats What Happens When Someone Stays In One Place For 50 Years. He Sighed Sadly Because Even In Thuis Massive Library He Could Not Find Any Evidence Of The Existince Of The Balls Wolf. He Knew This COuld Mean Only One Thing...
...The Balls Woldf Was So Secret That Even Cross Did Not Know About It!!!!!!!! He Heard The SOund Of A Face Palm Coming From THe Library But Shrugged Because No One Else Should Have Been IN There Besides Him. So He Shaved Off His Beard And Decided He Must Seek The Wizest Person Of All To Learn The Answerts Of Where The Balls Wolf Lived. So He Found SG2 Who Sed 'Dude Where Have U Been I Havent Seen You In 50 Years' And LG Explained That He Was Looking FOr THe Balls Wolf. SG2 Laughed And Sed 'Wow Ur A Dumby Theres No Such Thing As The Balls Wolf Bardios Lied To You' And LG Got Really Mad And Spanked Her Ass And Said 'No UR The Dumby!!' And Then SG2 Cried So LG Laughed A Lot. He Knew SG2 Was Just Trying To Trick Him And Said 'I WIll Find That Balls Wolf If Its THe Last Thing I Do!!!!'
Suddenly He Turned The Corner And The Balls Wolf Was Standing Rite In Front Of Him. LGs Eyes Went Wide - 'I Knew It', He Said, 'I Found The Balls Wolf!!!!!!', And THe Balls Wolf Said 'Yup And Its The Last Thing You Did' ANd THen It Ate LG Whole And LG Becamed Dead. Then The Balls Wolf Pulled Off The Balls Wolf Suit To Reveal SG2 In A Balls Wolf Suit And SHe Laughed And Said 'Thats What U Get For Calling Me A Dumby' But Then Realized That Without LG THere Would Be Nowone Left To Go Around And TOuch MEns Balls Together And Make THem Gay!!!! So SHe Knew She Needed To Take Up The Mantel In LGs Place And Became The Balls Wolf For REal, Which Is Like Batman But Instead Of A Man In A Bat Suit Its A Tiger In A Wolf Suit Who Makes U Gey.
And Thats The End Of The Balls Wolf Legend. MEanWhile Way Back On His Bardios Banks Bardios Laffed And Laffed At What A Dumby LG Was For Beliving His Stories So He Continued To Laff While He Fucked His Lover Tim In The Ass. He Said 'Hey Tim Lets Have Penis Sex' And Tim Said 'Oooh Yeah I Bet Ur Way Better At It Than That LG' And So Bardios Put His Penis Inside Tims Penis And THey Had Penis Sexy ANd It Felt Sooooo Good!! But Then The Balls WOlf Appeared And Sed 'Surprise' And Ate Bardios' Face Off And It Made Tim Cry. Then The Ghost Of LG Showed Up And Haunted Traitor And The Faceless Bardios For All Eternity.
The End