Everything was going according to plan...he was actually surprised. When was the last time things actually worked out for him? Had they ever? Krampus couldn't stifle an excited snicker as he watched the events inside the snowglobe. And to think, this wouldn't be happening if they hadn't had that chance encounter at the hardware store just a few days ago...but with the aid of the Pixie Queen, his dreams of destroying Christmas once and for all may finally come true!!
“Yes...with those pesky IGNOites out of the way, there's no one who can stop me from launching my full-scale attack on the North Pole...”, he mused aloud, sipping hot spiced cider from a wine snifter made of ice crystals. “Her plan to trap them inside this enchanted snowglobe, reliving the same day over and over again...brilliance, a true visionary!! She's certainly gone on to be successful since our college days...I wonder if I even still have a chance...”
Though the IGNOites had lived the same 24 hour period at least a dozen times by now inside the globe, in the real world it was just before noon on December 24th...Christmas Eve. Santa Claus would be gearing up for his evening flight, where months worth of preparations would finally culminate - making his list, checking it twice, then checking it a THIRD time that the songs don't tell you about...ensuring each child's gift is perfect, having to send his elves to buy out the hot toys before they can even hit the store shelves...and of course, charting out the route of the flight, careful consideration going into the most minute details of weather and wind, making the most of every second of the journey in order to deliver presents to every child in the world before sunrise. It was his busiest day of the year - and of course, the day that the Krampus reached the peak of his annual surge in Christmas power. Which made this the most suitable time to strike.
Perhaps the best part of this plan was that Santa had come to expect these yearly attacks, and likewise expect the IGNOites to come to the rescue and 'save Christmas' like some cheesy holiday special. The fat bastard was so conceited...he wouldn't bother to lift a finger in his own defense, knowing that his reputation as 'Santa Claus' made him beloved by all, and that there would always be someone to step in and bail him out at the last second. But not this time...no, this time the only ones who could possibly helped him were all locked away in their own tiny Hell, leaving Kringle vulnerable to a head-on assault.
Krampus rose from his throne and made his way to the other side of the room, where he'd set up a small scale model of the North Pole and a detailed attack plan mapped out. As much as he'd love to see the IGNOites get gored by shadowbeasts inside their frozen prison, he had a schedule to keep.
“Even if Kringle is expecting me to attack...”, he began, again voicing his thoughts aloud. “...he'd never expect me to storm into his fortress personally. He'd expect me to send snow golems or something in my place. And I will be doing that - specifically, snow horses - or snorses, as I like to call them - mounted by the seasoned Pixie warriors so generously donated by my business partner.”
He place a small figurine of a white horse in front of the North Pole gate.
“Naturally, Kringle will deploy his own cavalry of reindeer-riding elves...chances are, they'll be a fairly even match. But that's okay. This is just a distraction.”
Krampus flicks a finger, knocking the white horse into the black horse representing Santa's cavalry. A white 'king' piece is then placed atop the roof.
“No doubt, Kringle will continue preparing for the flight in the midst of the chaos - there's no way he'd take the field himself. But the distraction will buy me some time...”, he muses, walking the little king piece over to the chimney. “When I'm given the signal that the big man is away from the workshop area of his fortress, I'll slide down the chimney and claim my unguarded prize.”
Krampus pulls another figurine from a small box of what appear to be a mish-mash of pieces from many different board games. He grabs what looks like a thimble and turns it upside-down.
“Santa Claus' magic bag. This bag is instrumental to his ability to deliver gifts to all the children of the world in a single night...for if he were to pile that many gifts into a single sleigh, even a magic one pulled by enchanted reindeer...there's no way it would remain aloft. The solution is, of course, that this bag actually contains a wormhole to another dimensional plane...by storing the gifts in that dimension, he can easily reach inside and grab the toys he needs from anywhere in the world.”
WIth a sickly-looking claw, Krampus strokes the figurine of the black king, drawing the thimble ever closer with his other hand.
“This bag was also how he had managed to trap his older brother, Cross, in an alternate dimensional plane for all those years. Of course, that seal was broken one day a year, when Cross would have been free to leave this prison if he so desired...”
He tips the thimble back right-side up, shaking it as though 'spilling' the bag.
“The reason of course being that this is the one day where Santa had to keep his bag - and thus, the dimensional pocket it leads to - open, in order to access his gifts. But for as long as that bag is closed, the seal is airtight...there is no other known means of escaping this plane.”
He fishes around inside the box a bit more, drawing out a few more metallic pieces from different board games. The thimble is placed upside-down on the table next to the black king. A small, metal gun is moved as though to shoot the black bishop.
“With Cross dead and gone, his guard over that bag has loosened. The chances that he'll leave it in the workshop unattended while he runs to and fro, trying to get his sleigh ready in the midst of his elves banging down his door asking for assistance...is very high. If I can get my hands on that bag...”
Krampus raises a tiny metal candlestick piece high, whacking the black king on the head with an unnecessarily dramatic flair, before placing the thimble atop its 'head'.
“I cannot kill Kringle, and he cannot kill me. Such is our ancient bond...our lives are linked. If I die, he dies, and if he dies, well...as long as there is a successor to become the new 'Santa', his existence will continue. How dreadfully unfair...however!! If I imprison him inside this pocket dimension, alive...then I win. I can then simply move the bag to storage and never open it again...or perhaps, even destroy it, forever sealing the exit...”
With an evil chuckle, he tosses the king and thimble pieces into the fireplace, where they are consumed by flames...the white king now stands at the forefront of the North Pole, the white horse and fellow pieces lined up behind him.
“Hahahahaha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--oh wait, I needed those pieces, now I don't have a full set!! Aaagh stupid Krampus, why do you keep getting caught up in the drama and doing this?!”
As the flustered beast began combing through the fireplace with an iron poker, the two who had been watching from behind the icy doorway looked at each other.
“Wow...that guy really needs to learn not to announce his evil plans out loud...”, says Katie, turning to face her companion. “Good thing you had a hunch about coming here to check up on him.”
“Well, it is Christmas Eve...there were only so many explanations for them going missing...”
Apparently, Katie and Angel had headed to Knochenstadt earlier that morning, planning to help set up for the evening's annual party. The two had long been absent from the everyday affairs and shenanigans of the main group, returning to their ordinary lives in The Outback and Goat Mountain...but they were still friends, and were of course always welcome to the party. However, they arrived to find the place empty...and after a bit of struggling to comprehend the nonsensical Leprechaun language, it became apparent that not even Bones was present. Considering what day it was, Angel had a hunch as to who might be responsible for this disappearance...so she and her goatling compadre decided to fly north for the winter and peek in on their age-old seasonal rival. And sure enough...he had just explained everything. Their friends were trapped inside of that snowglobe, so that Krampus could throw Santa into his own magical bag and destroy Christmas once and for all.
They needed to stop him...but there wasn't much the two of them could do on their own. This was their chance, to grab the globe while the Krampus was distracted - the globe sat on a shelf in his chambers, while he was still digging through the extinguished fireplace for his melted game tokens. If they could just grab it...quickly, quietly...maybe they could smash it open and free their friends, and make haste to the North Pole to warn Santa of this invasion plan.
Katie nodded to Angel...she and Von Goatly would watch her back while she snuck over to the shelf as stealthily as possible to grab the snowglobe. Slowly, slowly...but not too slow...and finally, her fingertips were just inches away from it. And then...came the crash. Angel's head slowly turned to the doorway she'd just come from...apparently Von Goatly's hoof had reflexively kicked out and knocked over a priceless (?) crystal vase. The Krampus' attention was now on that side of the room...their eyes met. So much for stealth.
“You?! What are you...she was supposed to trap all of you inside that globe, how did...no, it doesn't matter!! I'll not have a few bugs ruining my plans, not when they can so easily be squashed!!”
“Shit!!”, Angel cried, not wasting her opportunity to grab the snowglobe before the Krampus was on her. “KATIE!!”
She tossed the ball to Katie in the doorway - if she had to choose between Katie potentially missing the catch and shattering it, or the Krampus getting his hands back on it, the former was obviously the safer option...fortunately, the goatling managed to snatch it out of the air, just as Krampus landed a fearsome punch on the other girl. Angel was sent flying into the icy wall, smashing through it easily...she had forgotten how strong the Krampus would be with his Christmas power almost at maximum. She lay nearly buried in frozen shards as the Krampus stomped over to her side, fuming with rage.
“Unbelievable...just when I'm finally gaining the upper hand, you and your little band of fools still manages to destroy my fortress!!”
“That was...your own fault, idiot...m-maybe watch where you're punching, next time...AUGH!!”
She was quickly silenced by a sturdy cloven hoof to the gut, spitting up red against the pristine white snow.
“What did you think you were going to do when you got your hands on that globe, anyway? Smash it? Don't make me laugh!!” the Krampus said...while laughing. “You don't think I'd have precautions against that very thing? Snow golems are clumsy creatures, you know - I couldn't have one of them waltzing in here and knocking it off my shelf, ruining all my plans!! It is of course enchanted against being broken from the outside - all dropping it will do is give your friends on the inside quite the earthquake, and I'm sure you wouldn't want that, would you?”
Krampus continued to pummel her, laughing all the way. And though it left hoofprints on her forehead and incriminating claws marks on her back, it certainly wasn't fatal - but she wouldn't be easily getting back on her feet, either. Which left Katie and Von Goatly vulnerable as the green gremlin zoomed over to them with blazing speed...Katie was juggling the snowglobe frantically, frightening about what might happen if she dropped it. Von Goatly leapt to her defense, but in a battle of goat legs vs. goat legs Krampus' kicks were simply stronger. Katie alone was never much of a fighter...she didn't even have any sketched-out acorns to throw at the Holiday Hellraiser. She closed her eyes tightly - this was the end.
There was another loud shattering sound as a body hit the crystalline wall of the Krampus' ice fortress forcefully...Katie slowly opened her eyes to find that the body was...the Krampus himself?
“Come on, we have to get out of here!!”, shouted her rescuer, having just delivered a brutal centaur kick to their foe and catching the snowglobe just in time before it hit the floor. “Go grab the other girl and put her on my back, we need to beat hooves before that asshole wakes up!! Now c'mon!!!!!”
Katie didn't know who this mysterious centaur was, but she was in no position to argue with him. Even now, the Krampus was struggling to his feet amidst the shower of icy rubble. Carefully lifting Angel onto his back, she climbed aboard Von Goatly - he was dazed, but he could still fly. The strange half-man then handed the snowglobe back to her.
“I'll explain everything on the way, but for now, hold onto this and do not drop it!! And as for you...”, he said to Angel as she weakly secured a grip on his hindquarters, “I hope you like riding bareback...hehe. Alright, let's GO!!”
The foursome bolted from the frozen fortress as quickly as possible, making tracks to the North Pole to warn Santa of the impending attack. The snow inside the globe swirled around furiously as the group raced to their destination, while the fate of their friends on the inside remained a mystery......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“AVALAAAAANCHE!!!!”
The effects of Angel and co.'s flight from Krampus tower were not unseen in Globeworld. The raucous shaking of the snowglobe during the fight - and now being bounced around as the foursome made their escape - had lead to a massive snowslide down the very mountain the IGNOites had climbed to shake their own pursuers.
Though the true nature of the globe's inhabitants was decidedly inhuman, they still appeared to have human-like limits. The gang had run frantically all over town, having scattered to divide their enemy's ranks. They were definitely pushing themselves to the very brink, but eventually their pace slowed as they became exhausted. The IGNOites had managed to reunite at the familiar tree farm and continued escaping together up the nearby mountain, hoping to find an exit...but when their prison's corporeal form started getting tossed around like a football, they quickly came to regret this decision.
“Shit, we can't seem to catch a break...!!” said LG through clenched teeth, wishing he could summon his Wall friends right about now to block the encroaching slush.
“I'm throwing as much fire at it as I can, but it's only delaying the inevitable...we have to run!!”, cried Hamel, flares bursting from her open palms in vain.
“I don't think it'll be that easy...”, Bradios said, carrying SG2 on his shoulders. “Even if I could outrun it by engaging my hyperspeed, I can't possibly carry all of you with me!!”
Of their group, only Azaran and Iris could fly...and with both of them on the small side, neither would have been able to carry even one of their comrades to safety. To make matters worse, none of their powers had any use in this situation - not even the vast powers of the IGNOites were enough to turn aside the fearsome forces of nature.
“There's still a way...Tim, Iris, Reese!!”, shouted Karma, having stopped and turned to face her icy doom. “We're going to set up a barrier, but I'll need your help!! Everyone else keep going!!”
“But Karma, you'll be--”
“Go!!!!!! Don't even turn around!! Put your faith in us!!”
Reluctantly, the others continued on ahead while the four stood their ground, the snowfall getting closer by the second. At once, there was a burst of magical energy...it stretched and took shape, solidifying to form a wall before its casters. But the four did not stop...they could not stop. All of their energy and concentration had to be focused on sustaining that barrier until their friends were safely out of the avalanche's path...they could not let their concentration waver from that barrier. Their friends understood what this meant - they had sacrificed themselves to protect the others. If they ran out of juice before that avalanche stopped...no, they were confident. The IGNOites had faith in them...steeling themselves and making tracks back to the tree farm as quickly as their legs could carry them.
Though they had lost four of their number, the remainder of the group finally arrived out of harm's way...back at the tree farm they had visited many times before. They continued to jog along at a brisk pace for a short while until they were certain that they were out of harm's way...fortunately, it had seemed that the chaos of the avalanche drove most of their pursuers away, though for how long they couldn't be sure. Though it had been exhausting, they didn't want to stand around and catch their breath...there was no telling who might be listening, and they had to carry themselves very carefully to avoid alerting others to their position.
“I can't believe we just...left them there...”, MTS whispered between steady breaths.
“Karma said to put our faith in them”, SG2 reassured her. “We need to keep searching for a way out. They'll catch up to us, I'm sure of it.”
“Where do we even start? If we head back to the square, we'll be swarmed by those...things.”
“Sssh!! Keep your voice down, they could be searching for us as we speak. No matter where we start searching, we need to be prepared for a fight...”
They skulked about, walking together in a line like a troupe of cartoon mystery solvers. Bradios guarded the rear with his gun at the ready while Azaran flew above, ready to alert the others of any approaching danger.
They managed to search the entire tree farm without incident, carefully combing through each row, but they found nothing out of the ordinary. At the far edge there was an invisible wall, likely a barrier akin to the one their friends had used to stop the avalanche...it seemed to stretch the entire length of the farm, curving gently as it went - there was a good chance this wall encircled the entire village and that there was no conventional exit, but they weren't about to stop now.
It had to have been over an hour since they escaped the snowslide, but their friends had still not rejoined them...no one spoke up, but they could all sense the worried tension in the air. There was a bit of apprehension as they decided to finally leave the tree farm and move on, as that had been the designated meeting place...what if the others couldn't find them? Everyone wanted to believe they could take care of themselves, and since there were four of them they would, at least, not be alone...
“I think we're close to the reindeer park...”, said xL, finally breaking the silence. “It was a pretty wide-open area. Maybe we'll find something there?”
The others could only nod in agreement...and so, they made their way into the meadow grounds. While they had primarily visited the 'petting zoo' area in their previous trips, it was actually a decent-sized plot of land beyond the fenced-in area where the reindeer roamed. However, it was very open - while in the tree farm they had plenty of cover in the event of an ambush, here they were basically sitting ducks. Which is why it was so eerie that still, even after all the commotion earlier in the town square, there wasn't a single enemy in sight. Did they give up, thinking the IGNOites were all killed in the avalanche...?
“You know, I haven't even heard that music for a while...”, Azaran pointed out.
“Isn't that a little...suspicious?”, asks Hamel. “We haven't been followed this entire time...no music...nothing. It's like they don't really care that we escaped...”
“Do you think...there really is no way out of here? And that they're not chasing us because they know we can't--”
SG2 is cut off as Bones holds out an arm, signaling 'stop'.
“Let's not start thinking like that and let pessimism ruin our chances. That's exactly what they'd want. Besides...”, he says, pointing towards something in the distance, just beyond the reindeer pen. “Whatever magic they're using - whoever they even are - to keep us here, there's always a way out. Doesn't that look like a gate?”
Sure enough, there was what appeared to be a large archway in the distance...a fancy metal gate with thick, iron bars. They had been so wrapped up in their Christmas fun during their previous visits here, they really had no reason to take notice of it...but it certainly had a look about it that said, 'open me, I'm the exit'. The IGNOites drew closer to it, extra careful to travel in a large cluster and guard from all sides...the fact that there was nowhere to hide in this open field would have been perfect for an ambush, after all. However, even as they reached the fenced-in area with the reindeer, the place was deathly silent - only the sounds of feet crunching in the snow, and the occasional grunts of the large animals.
“Well? Is anyone gonna try to open it?”, asked LG.
“Are you kidding? That'd be way too easy - trap us with a bunch of barriers and stick a gate out in the open? It probably requires some kind of mystical key that we'd need to go on a grand quest to retrieve, first gathering the eight pieces it's been shattered in--”
“Fine. I'll do it.”
Bones shot the tiger a glare, pushing her aside and approaching the gate. Before he could reach out his hands to touch it, Azaran spoke.
“I'd be careful if I were you. The tiger's theory is ridiculous, but not completely unfounded - if we've been trapped in this village by magical barriers, there's probably some kind of dangerous spell on that gate that's just waiting to be triggered.”
“Hmph. I think I can handle it.”
Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Bones made for the latch...and, just then all of a sudden...
...the gate swung open with a soft squeak and absolutely nothing spectacular happened.
“Heh, told you. Come on, let's...guys?”
There was no magic, no curse, nothing eventful at all with the gate. So why was everyone so quiet? When Bones turned around, the first thing he saw were his friends' faces looking back the way they'd came, all pale and slicked with sweat.
“...guys...?”
The second thing he saw...was a monstrous three-headed creature charging at him, antlers first, at blinding speed.
“WHOA!!”
Bones managed to leap out of the way in the nick of time as the creature barreled through the gate, knocking the door off its hinges - even if it had been locked, it wouldn't be anymore. But there was a new obstacle in their way. The creature skidded to a stop, turning back to face the IGNOites on the opposite side of the fence - and then...turned to face them, again. ...and again...?
“What...the Hell...”
“Three heads...?!”
“It's...a Deerberus...”
Despite the extreme peril they were in, everyone paused to look at SG2, finding her naming sense questionable.
“What?! It's a three-headed monster deer, what else would you call it?!”
There was no time to argue - the 'Deerberus' had already aimed itself in the other direction and was dashing through the snow with a three-headed open can of ass-whooping just for the IGNOites!!
“Everyone get behind me!”, cried Bradios, launching several heat-seeking missiles at the beast...to no avail. Explosion after explosion hit and the Deerberus continued to charge unflinchingly!! “SHI--”
The impact was heavy, even for the sturdily-built cyborg, and he was sent flying through the air like a ragdoll as the Deerberus shook its head violently, showing off its 3 pairs of magnificent antlers. xL took the opportunity while the monster was distracted to fire several volleys of hot-buttered toast from his arm cannon...but they only slapped weakly against the Deerberus' hardy flank. The huff from its nostrils was visible in the cold air, the stamping of hooves a clear indicator that it was about to rush again...and this time, xL was the target.
“xL!!”, LG cried before initiating a charge of his own. With a wave of his hand, a blade of light was drawn as if from an imaginary sheath at his waist.
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!”
The air was filled with the sharp sounds of clashing steel as blade and antler expertly matched each other blow for blow, even though light striking bone should make no such noises. LG held his ground fiercely, the side of a proud Gaylian warrior that he rarely showed...perhaps, if the creature had only one head, LG would have been the victor. But with only a single blade in his hands, he was simply no match for 6 multi-pronged weapons battering against his lightly-protected body.
“Damn, it's too strong...”, the Gaylian managed before collapsing into the snow in a heap.
“Uh, guys...”, said Azaran, having taken to the sky with the intent of launching an aerial attack, “there's more trouble on the way, and you're not gonna like it...”
From the other side of the gate came the sound of hooves against snow, drawing ever closer...
“Great...another one...?”
“Not quite...”
And there stood 400 lbs of holiday terror. For atop the muscular hindquarters of an intimidating steed...was the torso of a man. But it was not just any man - the familiar visage of rosy red cheeks and a snow-white beard, that all-too-recognizable red cap...the others turned their gaze to SG2 questioningly.
“...what?”
“Well, what would you call this one?”
“Really? We're really doing this?! Ugh...a Santaur, I guess?”
“We can't handle them both at the same time...” said Bones, glancing at his teammates as the fallen climbed back to their feet. “We're going to have to split up. One team take on the...Deerberus...and the other one hold off the, uh, Santaur. If we work together we might be able to put a dent in them...”
“I don't like it, but it's not like we have much choice...”, agreed SG2. “Alright...Bradios, LG, and Hamel, you're with me!! The rest of you can go with Bones!!”
“What th...why do you get to decide the teams?!”
“Do we really have time to argue about this?! I think they're tired of waiting for us to stand around and talk...”
The Santaur let out a jolly evil laugh - but there was no rotund belly to shake like a bowl full of jelly, only rock-hard pecs and washboard abs and arms that looked like they could snap a truck in half with ease. The Deerberus was stamping its hooves eagerly...
“Alright, alright!! Everybody gather up and make a break for it in opposite directions - split them up so they can't fight together!!”
“Orange Team - we'll take the Santaur, Green Team take the Deerberus!! Let's go!!”
Team captains SG2 and Bones quickly dashed through the open gate, forking to the left and right sides and instructing their teams to follow. After a moment of confused hesitation, the monsters took the bait as expected - a little taunting lead the Santaur towards Orange Team and the Deerberus after Green. Though the entire group was still four members short, they hoped that this divide and conquer strategy would be enough to defeat their otherworldly antagonists, or at least buy enough time for their friends to return…