SNAKES

Katie: I have snakes in my house what do I do what I do what do I do I am afraid of snakes. My cat has found 2 in my house today. There are probably millions more of them slithering around, perhaps in my bed. I'm going to be afraid to sleep tonight. *Cries*

Tim: Snakes are scary You should never go to Aussie :p On a more serious note snakes don't want to be around people. They wouldnt come over and see you and think i'll go say hello. As long as you don't corner them it shouldn't be too bad. Do you have any idea what sort of snake sthey are? ~Tim

CAEJones: Do you have mice or rats? Snakes tend to go after those. Although if your cat found snakes, I'd imagine rodents wouldn't be too welcome either...

SG2: I wouldn't jump the gun and assume there are probably thousands - I don't think snakes breed that way (if it were spiders or something then perhaps). There might be a nest and you might have a few of them, but I'd highly doubt more than 10, and even that number seems a bit high. If you're lucky, your cats will find them all. I would recommend just calling someone and have them take care of the problem, or if you can't afford it (or are afraid of pesticide or such coming into contact with your cats) just find a friend or neighbor willing to catch and release them. Like Tim said, they don't like people, and I'm sure they like cats even less. I'm willing to bet they're harmless garden snakes (because I don't think we really get a lot of dangerous ones around here), but I'd look into it...just get rid of them, hopefully humanely, and try to find if they got in from a hole or something and just patch it up so that they don't make any nests.

You should never go to Aussie Tim

Your country is fucked up, man. I am never going there.

Reese: GET THE fUCK oUT!!1 ThE CALl IS COMmING ROM UNDrE YOUr BeED!!!

Bradios: *dies from the excessive typo attacks by BlackFenix*

Tim: Exactly, if you are worried just get someone to come check on them Also i'm so forcing you to travel there sometimes

CAEJones: I'd be moderately ok with snakes at my house just to prevent an explosion in rats... of course it'd be nice if the dogs went after rats and not rabbits. T.T ... Really. Rats are pests. We don't have crops for rabbits to destroy. Stop killing all the rabbits.

Angel: I feel I have to point out here that whilst Australia does have many (poisonous) snakes, most people live in the cities, and they are very rarely in the city.....I've never ONCE come into contact with a snake, and I've lived in Australia my whole life I've only ever seen snakes in zoos.

Katie: Luckily there have just been the two. We haven't seen any more since then. My brother thinks they were garden snakes. We have mice sometimes in the winter, but I don't think they're usually around in the summer. I have no idea how or why those snakes got in our house. My little brother picked them up and put them outside, in the woods. I hate snakes but that doesn't mean I want to see them killed, KOK. I just don't want them anywhere near me.

Well that's good. Not that I have any plans to visit Australia in the near future, but I would NEVER go there if there were poisonous snakes everywhere

Tim: I've never seen one either but I remember hearing how my dads friend found a snake in his bbq once And it was quite frightening/awesome?

CAEJones: Where I live, there are a crap-ton of snakes, if you know where to look...It's a place that can't decide if it's a small city or a huge town, so there are plenty of snake habitats all around. I live right on the edge of it, so there's a bunch of flatland behind the house, with civilization in walking distance along the road. I have several relatives within thirty minutes who are actually out in the woods, who are kinda phobic to snakes... so I hear about someone shooting or hoe-decapitating snakes at least once a year. :-/

SG2:

I’ve never ONCE come into contact with a snake, and I’ve lived in Australia my whole life I’ve only ever seen snakes in zoos.Angel

You just can't see the snakes because they're hiding behind all the crocodiles and dingoes and poisonous jellyfish and spiders and all that other crazy deadly shit you have down there.

Bradios: A snake bit and killed one of our defenseless cats...I consider snakes to be my mortal enemy because of it

Angel: I live on the Gold Coast... and it's very city like and beachy and I don't know anybody who has had a snake in their house thank god, because that would be scary. We have crocodiles walking around the city though. They hang with the jellyfish on the beaches.

Reese: Could be worse. The snakes could be on a motherfuckin plane.

CAEJones: Or the plane could be on a Snake!

SG2: Snake?! Snake?!?! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie: We had some snakes & marinara sauce for dinner tonight. Why go grocery shopping when you can get spaghetti-like creatures for free in your own house?? They tasted a little slimy but overall you couldn't tell the difference.

SG2: ...That's DISGUSTING!! I hate marinara sauce!!

Reese: Marajuana sauce? That's illegal!

Mr. Bones: unless you're from naples. it turns out it is the first tomato sauce made in italy as naples was a major port and they imported tomatoes from spain hence the name marinara which is italian for mariner's sauce. it is one of many sauces that fit in the category salsa al pomodoro. learned from ab confirmed by my cousin's neapolitan husband. though popular worldwide marinara sauce remains exclusive to naples when in italy also was the snake solid, liquid or naked?

Reese: I love italian food, but I hate tomato based sauces.

SG2: I almost never go to Italian restaurants because they always serve pasta with marinara sauce. I know John's right in that it is a legit Italian pasta sauce, however, it should not be treated as the only pasta sauce. My family's all Italian on my mom's side and has plenty of generations worth of cooking experience and omg secret mafia recipes. We've never used a chunky sauce as pasta sauce, just plain tomato sauce. My mom uses canned tomato paste as a base; my aunt makes it from scratch and is known for her pasta, especially on Christmas, Easter, and pretty much any holiday. I hate marinara sauce because it's not smooth, and it has a weird taste to boot...it's just not pasta sauce to me :/

Reese: It may be legit Italian, but it's a minority thing. The chunky sauce with meat is called ragu bolongnese and can only be found in Bologna Italy, and it would never be served over spaghetti. That's an American creation. Thanks AB. Everywhere else it's garlic, oil and herbs on pasta. Which I greatly prefer.

Mr. Bones: Anime Boston sure knows a lot about cooking.

SG2: I'm assuming AB means something other than Anime Boston in the above posts...someone care to enlighten me?

Reese: Alton Brown, food network host. Nah, dude. AnimeBoston knows all about food. He's a master cheif.

SG2: I think Anime Boston is a pretty cool guy. eh knows a lot about cooking and doesnt afraid of anything.

CAEJones: Great. Now I want oil-garlic-herb-pasta. I had phaux-Italian night before last. Had too much mexican in the past two weeks. What should I do?

Mr. Bones: boil some water

SG2:

1-Get job.
2-Make money.
3-Go to grocery store.
4-Use money to purchase pasta.
5-Boil water.
6-Dump pasta into water.
7-???
8-Pasta!!

Mr. Bones: damnit now i want pasta. brb boiling water and watching the spaghetti episode of good eats and hoping i can make the ragu bolognese out of frozen hamburger patties

CAEJones: You say these things as though they are all simple! Forget the inherent insanity that would ensue from job-getting... how does one go to the grocery store?

Mr. Bones: you don't know how to boil water?

CAEJones: Now that you mention it... I... umm... leave it on the back porch in the sun?

Reese: You mean food libraries?

SG2:

Fix'd

Mr. Bones: IT'S CALLED A SUPERMARKET YAH DOUCHEBAGS!

Katie: Tonight we're going to try snakes with alfredo sauce. It's not my fault I can't drive my car at the moment and my dad won't go grocery shopping. I refuse to cook Goatie!!

Reese: Whart about lamb? Lamb is deeeeelicious. I had a gyro once, it was like an orgasm in my mouth.

Mr. Bones: i wanna try a pizza using ragu bolognese as the sauce. im wondering how deliciious that would be. it would be like having toppings in the sauce. OMG!

Reese: ehhhhh. I tolerate sauce on my pizza only because without it the pizza would be too dry. I do not like it one bit.

SG2: blasphemy!! Sauce is integral to the pischlicka formula!! You can't have pischlicka without sauce, and pischlicka without cheese is a pretty horrible though, too!! The bare minimum for the proper pischlicka is crust-sauce-cheese, in varying amounts depending on your personal tastes (thin vs. thick crust, little vs. lots of sauce, same for cheese, etc). Anything less is simply not pischlicka!!

Katie: We had your mom over for pischlicka last night, Sloth Mmmm, Espresso pischlicka

SG2: Oh God, I love the side-effects of the new wordfilter...pischlicka

CAEJones: Until it turns "spoon" to "sgirl's thingy" and "*sniggers*" to "*sblack peoples*".

SG2: KOK, all the filters on IGNO are set up by me, so I wouldn't set filters up like that (we use them for fun and not censorship). I have the option of setting it to 'partial match' or 'exact match', and only set this particular one to 'partial' because I didn't know how many letters John would be using when he said the intended-to-be-filtered 'word'. Hint: it's the annoying noise he's been making all over the board, you can probably figure out what filters based on that and 'pischlicka'. I should however change 'lol' to 'exact match' so 'loli' stops filtering to KOKi...

CAEJones: KOKi... sounds... Interesting... though...If pronounced Japanese-ly and not the other way...

Mr. Bones: whats wrong with the word nigger? it's a perfectly fine word if used properly. hate isnt in the word itself but in the context

CAEJones: The same case could be made for all "bad" words. ... I tell Jaws to pronounce words I don't want to hear as something completely different. "Bitch" is "fish", for example.

EnjoyLov: Personally I hate snakes.

SG2: ............did...did Julie just...bring this thread back on topic...?

Reese: Heh, heh, They don't call it Na Sing Se.

SG2: Hehehe, heh, heh...that means penetrable city.

CAEJones: What the Avatarrape? Awe fish, now I know what to post in that one thread... about stuff...

SG2: Don't you go down on Aviator until you've tried it for yourselfa!

Reese: Sorry, I didn't mean to go down on the Aviator...it was complicated, we got drunk and started talking about defeating the fire lord, then things just sorta happened...

SG2: He penetrated your walls, didn't he?

Hamel: You know what I want right now... PAIZURI ... or cookies...

Mr. Bones: *gives hamel cookies with his "special ingredient"* request granted

Hamel: >.o I'm not sure... they look funny... what's in them?

Mr. Bones: it's my secret "special" recipe

Hamel: O.o I'm afraid of what it is....

Mr. Bones: dont be afraid you trust der fuhrer don't you?

Hamel: is that a rhetorical question? *smells cookie*

CAEJones: Why... why did that make me think of cookies made with semen? *Self-destructs*

Bradios: Weird cookies? Random explosions? WHAT THE HELL AM I MISSING HERE?!

CAEJones: I wouldn't know, seeing as I am now the equivalent of Chaozu, or the USS Interprise in that one movie, or.. something that can't explain the cookies of "special". But I can tell you that the answer you seek can be found if you use the legendary MIND DRILL!, which can bbe yours for only $29.99 + shipping and handling. Act now, and you can also receive the COLON DRILL!, absolutely free...

SG2: Hey, who gave you permission to steal my patented Brain Drill and sell it no less?! I've been using that thing to benefit the IGNO populous for years!! As for the cookies, I'm pretty sure they are made with semen. That's what makes them so sexy, tasty and delicious.

Reese: I had some apple PAIZURI yesterday... mmmmmmm apple PAIZURI.

CAEJones: ... Which is why I said mind drill ®. A healthy market requires competition! ... *Chortles*

SG2: You bitch. You ran my Brain Drill through Tim's cloning machine, didn't you?! I'LL KILL YOU!! *charges at Tim* ... *I mean Caejones*

CAEJones: *Points at an Oompa Loompa* He did it! *Runs*

Hamel: Oompa Loompa?!? Where? The fucker owes me chocolate for my cupcaeks!!!

CAEJones: In the direction that previously pointed... *too busy running to point again*

Hamel: ><!!!!!!! *shakes fist at sky* I'll get you Oompa Loompa!!!! if it's one of the last things that I do!!!!!! REVENGE!!!! ... <,< Maybe tomorrow... too lazy now

Bradios: Oompa Loompa's are evil now? WHY DIDN'T I GET THE E-MAIL?!

CAEJones: Because until now, they've been held in the Pepsi-powered fortress. But reality is crumbling around us, and thus, they escaped!

Bradios: There's a fortress powered by my favorite soft drink? So many things I don't know and was never informed of! But I get the feeling that the last bit could be good for a plot for the RP.

Hamel: You know what Bradios, that's a really good idea, I really need to get going on my profile for the RP and start up on it already.

SG2: I don't think we can start the RP unless we get a GM, and I don't wanna be the GM because the GM can't play (also I have no experience). Anyone want to volunteer for the job? Also Bradios, Oompa Loompas have always been evil. You're just so Australian that you didn't notice it, what with your people used to conspiring with suspicious midgets (the gnomes).

Bradios: I'm guessing that makes Willy Wonka IGNOLand's newest threat.

Hamel: You bet your KOK it is. Anyway, SG2, why can't we RP without a GM? We've been pretty much RPing in the War Were Declared and other threads.

Bradios: That's not so much as RP'ing, as just spewing out random fighting actions and lines of dialogue

Hamel: that IS roleplaying, just more of a short term form of it. There are one liner RP's that are more of an action *ACTION* and dialogue "DIALOGUE" sequence. Then there are those that are paragraphs of things happening with some dialogue but more on the thoughts/feelings of the characters. I RP pretty much all the time when I'm online in some way shape or forum *vet RPer*

SG2: I guess IGNO as a whole is already one giant roleplay. WAR WERE DECLARED would be a good example, since we're all 'in character' fighting each other with fictional powers and stuff. But would it really be any fun to have a big RP like we were planning if it's no different than the usual Off-Topic threads? I feel like what we were trying to plan for was more along the lines of a tabletop game, except, y'know, online because none of us are close enough IRL to play a real tabletop game. I also keep thinking back to last time we tried an RP and it erupted into chaos because nobody knew how to coordinate with each other, which makes me think having a GM to direct things could help make sure we all stay on track with a storyline too (even if the story wouldn't be super serious since it is still IGNO). So like, something light theme-wise, and easy for anyone to jump into, but also something with enough structure that it doesn't fall apart before it even gets off the ground like last time...and probably written in a third-person prose style to make it stand out from our usual types of threads. Does that make sense?

Hamel: it does make sense. I would volunteer for the job but I'm involved in 9 (kill me now please? PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU!!!) RP's at this moment and wow I'm crazier than my friend... wait... no I'm not, she's in 9 as well, okay I feel better now. But anyway, I'm pretty dried out at the moment for RPing that takes real thinking

SG2: Dawww, I was thinking you'd probably be one of our best candidates, too. You and Russell are the only two I can think of on the board that have solid roleplaying experience enough that I think you'd be reliable GM's. But then, I could be underestimating some others.

Hamel: or you could be underOVERestimating us? I appreciate the offer on it and like I said I'd take it if I wasn't already wrapped up in so many @_@ but maybe Russell might be able to do it? Though it could be interesting to see how XL does? For some reason he was the first one that came into my mind when thinking about the others

Pregnar the Brabarian: PREGNAR DOES NOT ROLE PLAY, PREGNAR SIMPLY CLEAVES PREGNAR'S ENEMIES IN TWAIN WITH PREGNAR'S MIGHTY AXE!!1

SG2: Fine then, we don't want you in our RP anyway.

Hamel: exactly! We want people who can use proper speech and is more coherent to what to say.

SG2: >proper speech >is more coherent to what to say

CAEJones: I'd be interested in maybe GM'ing something... but not this... I might turn into a puddle of laryngitis from the terror of it.

Bradios: What terror? There's nothing terrifying about the IGNOLand RP.

Hamel: harharhar... I can think of some terrifying things that could happen in the IGNOland RP. Bradios you just don't have a clue....

SG2: I'm afraid I have to agree with Hamel...even with structure and a goal/plot in mind beyond just random chaos, shit is bound to get craaaaazy.

xL: Bradios, YOU'RE in the IGNOland RP. Horrifying things are already bound to happen.

Bradios: Let's just pray YOU don't have sex with anybody in the RP

xL: Only special people get to have sex with me. So no one would have sex with me during the RP.

Bradios: I'm assuming that LG is "Special"?

SG2: Ooooooh, Bradios is jeeeeeeeeealous.

xL: Bradios has been jealous of me since the day he met me.

CAEJones: This isn't the terrifying I meant, but ... it sure as fish works.

Hamel: Bradios jealous of LG or XL? Or Jealous that XL has LG? Probably that one.... Did anyone hear about those borrowers? I hear they're being captured by the Gnomes

SG2: Wait, if he's jealous of you then it means he wants LG...whereas I meant he was jealous of LG because he wants you...so... Which is it?

CAEJones: He's jealous of both of them for having each other... he sees what they have... and he wants it for himself, regardless of which it is from!

EnjoyLov: I didn't know either that the Oompa Loompa's are evil. Maybe they were just good in disguise during the day and at night they turn evil at night. They are all getting away. Noooo.

Hamel: no they're just evil all the time

Mr. Bones: WHAT ARE THEY DOING OUT OF THE GREAT CHOCOLATE MINES?

CAEJones: The chaos, for reality crumbles, releasing even these from their bonds! Now what is it that such beings shall do with that which they perceive as freedom? *Lightning and thunder*

SG2: As long as the Grunka Lunkas are still making Slurm, then it's all good.

Mr. Bones: grunka lunka grunka dingredient you will not ask about the secret ingredient

EnjoyLov: They could do no evil in the great chocolate mines so they had to come out to do evil. Evil is upon us.

Hamel: I think evil is always upon us even when the Oompa Loompa's were shackled to the mines. QUICK!! We must get them back! I'll have to get the Shrubbery Dwarves to help you guys out because I'm in pain right now

SG2: What if the mines were an ancient way of sealing up the evil so it couldn't reach us? We should have seen it coming, though...IGNO tends to draw the attention of malevolent midgets a lot. I bet I know what unleashed the seal...Aibou's return. They smelled the scent of chocolate and couldn't help themselves...

Mr. Bones: WELL THEY SHOULD BE MINING THE IMPERIAL CHOCOLATE, HOW WILL I HAVE MY CHOCOLATE BATH IF THEY ARENT MINING REFINING AND DISTILLING CHOCOLATE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hamel: So then it's Aibou's fault? we should have her help in getting them locked back up and working again

EnjoyLov: Maybe it might be Aibou's fault just a little. Well the Oompa Loompas do like their chocolate so they will go anywhere where there is the chocolate. And wherever the chocolate is, they will bring evil with them.

Bradios: Does that make Aibou evil now?

SG2: You obviously don't know Aibou very well...

Bradios: Well, she hasn't been around long enough for me to GET TO KNOW HER!

xL: I don't really know her, but I knew she was evil!

EnjoyLov: So this is saying that Aibou is evil.

SG2: It's obvious that at the very least Aibou's always been chaotic neutral.