what is up with the jolly green giant

Corey: he just stands there on your can of french style cut green beans and just is so jolly all the time, wtf is up with that, wasn't there ads for the canned vegies back in the day with him? what happened to them? why am i making a thread for this?

SG2: Well how about Cap'n Crunch? His eyebrows are on his HAT. What's up with that?

Corey: it happens when u r crunchitized

Karma: Well on the matter of cereal boxes, what about that poor Trix rabbit? I mean for goodness sake, he's been trying to get his trix for over twenty years! The poor thing must be starving, clearly this is a case of animal cruelty that needs to be addressed....somebody just feed the damn rabbit already!

SG2: What about the Lucky Charms Leprachaun? What the Hell is his problem? It's not even like he's guarding GOLD. He's a CEREAL LEPRACHAUN. He must be a total outcast of all leprachaun society for being so lame. But even worse are those KIDS. How hard can it be to catch such a lame leprachaun, and I mean, what, they've been chasing him for HOW many years? Seriously, why don't they just give up and go buy a box of Lucky Charms at the STORE? And don't even get me started on the Kool-Aid Man.

Karma: Ah, but Lucky Charms is more even. The kids catch him (or at least the cereal) about 50% of the time. Poor Trix Rabbit though, he's gone for yogurt AND cereal and he never gets anything. Must be starving.

SG2: Well to be fair... There's no reason *HE* can't go to the store, either. If you get foiled that many times by the same group of kids...give up and take the easy route out. (Random thought, the Trix Rabbit should join Team Rocket. I bet they'd sympathize.)

Karma: I bet they would. Come to think of it, there's probably a Cartoon Characters Support Group for such things...constantly trying to get something and failing. Really lowers your self-esteem doncha know, they'd need counceling after a while.

SG2: I bet Wyle E. Coyote is the chairman. That poor guy...he's another one you'd think would have starved to death by now.

Corey: what about the cooooooooooooooookie crisp dog, huh?

SG2: Me and Lemmy were actually just discussing him on the phone the other day because I saw a Cookie Crisp commercial... Remember back in the day, he used to be a bandit? They changed him, probably so he could be more 'kid friendly'. It's a sad sad world where even the cereal mascots get censored...I bet he'd be in that support group, too. (And I think this topic is now about support groups for animated mascots. )

Corey: i saw him trying to steal it and he hit an umbrella or something

Karma: Ouch. Umbrellas'll do that every time. Gotta look out for those suckers.

SG2: They're the worst enemy of cereal thieves, kind of like the way rakes are for Sideshow Bob. You know who the most evil of all cereal thieves is? Barney from the Flintstones. I mean, this is a cartoon character from a classic cartoon who went from...classic cartoon character...to dirty no-good cereal thief. And the kids who watch the commercials will root for him because they want to see him steal Fred's Cocoa Pebbles because it makes him cool, and Fred look like the idiot, because Barney got tired of being the dumb character all the time and decided to get his revenge. See, it's totally not about the pebbles. There's an ulterior motive at work, there. I think cereal serves as a government conspiracy to cover up the most atrocious of crimes. Really, the cereal ring is a lot more deadly than any drug ring you'll ever find. They'll gut you like a fish, man. It's a rough buisness.

Corey: did u see that on robot chicken with the flinstones and the fruity pebbles sketch? awsome!

SG2: No... ...Seriously, I never saw that one...tell me it's not the same thing I just described. BECAUSE THAT WAS HONESTLY *MY* IDEA!!!!!

Corey: no, barney became a mass murderer, first he killed fred for the pebbles, then he killed that pet dinosaur, then he started killing the "appliances" who are all dinosaurs, because they saw him kill fred

SG2: Well okay, but that's not exactly my idea anyways. I'm not talking about a 'cereal killer' (lamest pun ever but you kinda have to use it given the circumstances), I'm talking about there being a mafia-style cereal drug ring type thing...reread the post where I said it because it makes more sense there and my idea is a lot cooler than stupid Robot Chicken's.

Corey: idk, there was alot of blood

Lemmy: The Trix rabbit is going to embrace his dark side if he isn't allowed to eat soon-- it has been foretold. Did anyone catch that Family Guy episode where he comes into the kitchen and snaps a kid's neck to get his hands on the cereal? Yeah. Silly rabbit. Jail is for murderers.

Corey: that was funny, wasn't it like an asian bunny? how about that new ad with the rabbits at camp and you have to figure out who took the yogurt

SG2: Depends. Is it Trix yogurt or some other brand? I think the Trix Rabbit might not be too happy to have competition on his turf.

Karma: This is why I don't eat cereal. It's not the sickeningly-sugary-sweet-grossness, it's the evil government conspiracy you help to support every time you buy a box. Say No To Breakfast Cereals! Oh, and Barney doesn't count as much, because he actually SUCCEEDS at getting the fruity and chocolaty pebbles. Now if you wanna pity somebody, pity Fred. He loses his cereal all the time because he falls for dumb ploys. Tsk.

SG2: Yeah but Fred is a big dumb oaf. He kinda asks for it. The Rabbit is at least pitiable. You know, I honestly never even knew about the whole thing until recently. Guess I'll never buy a box of Cap'n Crunch aga... ...say, Karma...how did you know about the government conspiracy so far ahead of time that you've avoided the conspiracy long before seeing this thread...?

Lemmy: Obviously the answer is that Corey and Andrew have a deep, mutual love for one another.

Karma: Because I am awesome and a genius. Enough said.

SG2: ... THAT'S NOT A GOOD ANSWER AT ALL!!

Lemmy: That's it? That's her answer? But . . . but we all knew that much ALREADY!! Congratulations, SG2. Enjoy the knowledge of something you already knew, enjoy it well . . .

SG2: There just has to be more to it than that. Maybe the awesome geniusness and her Awesome-Genius Grant made her resume sparkle and it attracted a far from reputable crowd?

Corey: i think i saw her name on those papers joe mccarthy held up in the senate trials in the 1950's in his famous speach "here i have the names of spies in our state department" i love joe mccarthy, best senator wisconsin ever had

SG2: O_O; It's all starting to add up, now, isn't it...

Karma: >>; <<; crap, they're onto me...

SG2: o.o; Corey, you're the only one I trust when it comes to dealing with political wrongdoers...what do we do?!