June 12, 2009
This actually took place on YDB – LG’s Dragonball forum – one night when the s1 Zetaboards domain was experiencing technical difficulties. Other domains, such as YDB’s, were working fine, so we ended up hanging out on YDB while we waited for IGNO to come back online.
This chat basically took place over the course of 3-4 hours, so it’s rather long, even with most of the filler cut out. I’ve stuck in labels to mark the transition period between the different segments.
SG2: Okay, it looks like it's just a ZetaBoards bug, the board itself is fine.
SG2: We'll just have to wait until they fix it, I guess.
LG: Okay, so what do we do while they fix the Zetabug?
SG2: OMG, Zetabug sounds like a really cheesy comic book villain
SG2: SUPERMAN VS. THE ZETABUG
SG2: 15 FULL-COLOR PAGES
LG: What would the Zetabug look like if it was a comic villain though?
SG2: I dunno, probably some sort of giant, grotesque, anthropomorphic insect
SG2: OF SUPREME EVIL
LG: Not only did it defeat Superman, but then it took his mother out to dinner
LG: A fine steak dinner, wined her and dined her, took her for a long walk on the beach
LG: And then HE NEVER CALLED HER BACK
SG2: --!! B-b-but that's so...so...EVIL!!
LG: HE JUST GOT OUT OF A LONG RELATIONSHIP AND HE'S NOT LOOKING FOR A COMMITMENT
SG2: N-no!!
Zetabug: WAHAHAHAHA!! YOUR MOTHER IS NEXT SG2
SG2: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
BILLY MAYS: HI BILLY MAYS HERE
xL: OMG it's Billy Mays!
SG2: Lol, you guys know John is usually Billy Mays, right?
SG2: I just wanted to use his awesome sprite avatar 😛
LG: Yeah, I know
xL: You mean...it's not the real Billy Mays?!
xL: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LG: No, XL, John IS Billy Mays
LG: It's his alter-ego
SG2: Yeah, all those years of shouting at the top of his lungs drove him insane and he ended up with split-personalities
LG: I wonder if I have an alter-ego?
SG2: No offense LG, but Angel's PENIS is far superior to yours.
xL: I know, remember I told Bradios off because our PENISes can never match those of women
SG2: Especially AUSTRALIAN women
xL: MY POENIS IS MORE LICKABLE THAN ANGEL'S
SG2: XL has a poenis 😮
LG: I wish I had one...
SG2: Well Angel is still the PENIS queen.
LG: XL can be the queen of poenises
SG2: He's also the queen of the skatepark.
LG: Does that mean his alter-ego is Icky Vicky?
SG2: XL had no childhood.
LG: Terrorists never have a childhood, they're put into armies
LG: Child soldiers
LG: Really sad actually
LG: Well most of the kids are stolen from their parents
LG: And abused until they become good soldiers
SG2: And then their mother is taken away by the Zetabug
LG: We watched a video about it in world cultures class
LG: About a little boy named Abou who is now free but doesn't know where his mom is
LG: DAMN ZETABUG!!!!!!!!!!!!
LG: I think the Zetabug has mommy issues
Zetabug: MY MOMMY NEVER LOVED ME, SO I MUST MAKE THOSE MOTHERS LOVE ME INSTEAD!!
Zetabug: THEN I HURT THEM LIKE MY MOMMY HURT ME!!
xL: Wow, LG
Zetabug: ...DAMN I FORGOT ABOUT THE AVATAR
SG2: OMG
xL: LG is filled with so much epic fail at the moment
Zetabug: SHUT UP!! SG2 YOUR MOM IS NEXT
Zetabug: NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW
Zetabug: NOT EVEN SUPERMAN
Zetabug: WHO SOME CALL THE SUPERHOMBRE
SG2: Sorry LG, but you just can't overcome that avatar fail
SG2: Screenshotting this for great justice
LG: It's okay, I'm 100% sure I've done at least 5 things dumber than that!
LG: And would it help if I said the Zetabug was my alter-ego?
SG2: Geez, LG, stop being so horny
LG: I have a permaboner
SG2: Ever since Billy Mays walked out on you and your newborn child, you've been hard up all the time
SG2: But it's okay, it makes it that much easier to have PENIS sex
SG2: ...oh, wow.
SG2: Guys
SG2: I almost just typo'd PENIS as 'penix'
SG2: OMG
SG2: PENIX
SG2: PENIX PENIX PENIX
xL: PINGAS
SG2: Fail
SG2: Penix, it's a Doujin-soft company formed my Square Enix to produce adult-oriented PC games
SG2: SQUARE PENIX
LG: Poenis and penix, CAN NO ONE SPELL PENIS?!
SG2: Hey, at least I caught my typo!! If I hadn't told you, you'd never have known
SG2: Come on guys, my Square Penix joke was funny
LG: Knock knock
SG2: *opens door, slams it in LG's face*
SG2: WHATEVER YOU'RE SELLING I'M NOT INTERESTED
LG: Aaaaaah, bitch!!
LG: IT WAS A BLOODY KNOCK KNOCK JOKE!
xL: SG2 just did the most EPIC WIN thing of ALL TIME.
LG: GOD I THINK MY NOSE IS BROKEN
XL: I have a question
SG2: ?
LG: Yes XL?
xL: What do you guys say about me when I'm not around?
SG2: Lol, the only times I usually talk about you are in the chatbox
SG2: So if I ever said anything about you you'd see it 😛
LG: XL, we just PM each other every day about how stupid, fat, and ugly you are
SG2: Oh yes, I forgot about that
SG2: We do that all the time
LG: Okay, but what do you guys say about me?
SG2: You really wanna know, LG?
xL: I don't think he does.
LG: I NEED TO KNOW
SG2: Okay then, come closer for a second, right over here
LG: NO WAY, LAST TIME I GOT HIT BY A FUCKING DOOR
SG2: Well...
SG2: ...this time you won't.
SG2: ...be.
LG: No, just tell me out loud
SG2: Well fine, if you don't come closer, you'll never know...
LG: Do you swear I won't be hit by anything?
SG2: I PROMISE you won't get hit by a door.
LG: I said nothing about a door.
SG2: ...but...I did.
SG2: To address your concerns of being hit by doors
SG2: A major concern in modern times
LG: OTHER than a door
SG2: Okay fine, LG, I promise I won't hit you with ANYTHING.
LG: *comes closer*
SG2: *anvil drops from 5 stories above, right where he is standing*
SG2: Well, there's no way I could have possibly had anything to do with that.
SG2: But you really should watch more old Bugs Bunny cartoons, LG.
SG2: ...
SG2: ...LG...?
SG2: *poke*
SG2: ...
SG2: *backs away slowly*
LG: AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SG2: --!! AAAH!! ZOMBIE!!
Zombie LG: BRAINS
SG2: NO!!
Zombie LG: *eats SG2's brain*
SG2: NO, I JUST OVERCAME MY ZOMBIFICATION, I WON'T GO BACK!!
Zombie LG: YOU CAN'T RUN!
SG2: WELL...
SG2: *RUNS ANYWAYS*
SG2: *BRICK WALL*
SG2: *COLLISION*
Zombie LG: NOW I'VE GOT YOU
Zombie LG: *eats her brain*
SG2: You failed to account for one thing, LG...
Zombie LG: ?
SG2: I HAVE NO BRAIN
Zombie LG: DAMN IT!
SG2: Take that, public education system!!
SG2: Too bad LG, zombies are incapable of reproducing through PENIS sex.
Zombie LG: What about anal?
Zombie LG: Oral?
Zombie LG: Ear?
SG2: They lack the...WAIT, EAR?!
SG2: Pfft. Ear sex. Lame.
SG2: NASAL sex. Now THAT shit is where it's at.
xL: What, a PENIS up your nose?!
xL: PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!
Zombie LG: Oh you're just jealous you'll never have it
Zombie LG: You only ever put your PENIS on your toast
xL: CUM IS YUM!!
Zombie LG: God, we'd better clean the chatroom
Zombie LG: Before people think this is some sort of weird nasal sex forum
SG2: OMG NASAL SEX FORUM
SG2: FUCKING WIN
xL: Don't you diss my jizz toast.
xL: SG2 would love the taste.
Zombie LG: Eye sex hurts...
SG2: Actually I disagree, I don't think--
SG2: EYE SEX?!
SG2: WTF?!
Zombie LG: Oh sorry SG2, I forgot
Zombie LG: About the phobia
xL: ...SG2 WHAT WERE YOU JUST GONNA SAY?! LMAO
LG: Well I should be going to bed soon.
LG: My nasal/ear sex partner is waiting.
xL: Awwwwww
xL: LG, YOU SUCK
SG2: YOU suck, XL
SG2: You're the one who eats jizz toast
xL: I LOVE to suck, SG2
LG: OMG JIZZ TOAST
LG: They should sell that in the store!
SG2: Dur LG, no one sells pre-packaged toast in the store.
SG2: They'd have to sell the SPREAD and people would make it themselves
SG2: Like your ordinary jams and jellies
SG2: Only, you know, PENIS jelly
LG: I want some!! But the label says it has an STD, so my mommy won't let me!!
SG2: I thought the Zetabug took your mom?
SG2: And besides, everyone knows if you wear a condom, you can't get an STD from eating jizz toast
xL: STD stands for 'sexy, tasty, delicious' 😉
SG2: ...
SG2: ...
SG2: ...
LG: GAWD THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
SG2: OH MY GOD.
SG2: XL FUCKING WINS
SG2: LAUGHING...SO...HARD...
LG: SG2, you HAVE to put this in Crazy IM Conversations
SG2: I'm going to tomorrow as soon as we can post again...
SG2: If I can ever stop laughing at 'sexy tasty delicious' OMFG WIN
LG: XL 8=D
LG: LG 8===D
LG: Zetabug 8======D
LG: SG2 8=====================D
SG2: Angel 8===========================
SG2: =============================
SG2: ===========/0 OH SHI--
xL: OMG
xL: Angel's PENIS divided by zero. lol
SG2: The chatbox cannot contain the awesome might of her PENIS.
LG: Angel's PENIS is over 9,000!!
LG: You think she would do me the honor of having PENIS sex with her?
SG2: Sorry LG, but you're just not in her league.
SG2: Though maybe she'd let you have practice PENIS sex with one of the gnomes
LG: Aw man
SG2: But still, compared to you two, my PENIS is pretty incredible.
SG2: *unveils it in a glow of divine, heavenly light*
LG: Wow...
LG: Can I...can I touch it...?
xL: SG2, I can't see it past this VAGINA.
SG2: *falls over*
SG2: STOP MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD
SG2: You just totally reminded me of something in my /b/ folder, lemme get it
xL: Lol, okay. 😛
LG: But seriously, how come Australian women have the biggest penines?
SG2: I dunno about their penines, LG, but their PENISes are Damned huge.
SG2: Also isn't a penini one of those pizza pocket things?
xL: Lol we've all made a typo of the word PENIS tonight. 😛
SG2: MAYBE THAT'S A SIGN THAT WE'VE SAID PENIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES
LG: Okay, then let's talk about something else.
LG: Has anyone ever played strip Mario Kart? Or is that just me?
SG2: XL, this is what you reminded me of http://i39.tinypic.com/2u422qu.jpg
xL: LOLWTF
LG: WOW
xL: SG2, if he had brown hair, that would be what happened just now EXACTLY.
SG2: Oh yes, XL, because I totally have long purple hair and am wearing pink lingerie right now
LG: Okay, now I really do have to go, or my mom will ban me from the computer.
xL: Quick, let's talk about LG behind his back!!
SG2: OMG YES
LG: Damn it, now I have to stay!!
LG: Why can't you guys talk about me in FRONT of my back?!
SG2: Because you're always on your hands and knees? 😉
LG: ...Okay, true.
xL: Besides, LG's face is too ugly to look at.
SG2: Pfft, XL, LG is a professional PENIS whore. People don't pay him for his FACE.
SG2: It's what's downstairs that counts, and how you use it. 😉
LG: To quote Bradios, 'my PENIS gets big when it's hard'
xL: Then I want a refund.
SG2: Okay, fine then
SG2: THE PENIX
SG2: The ultimate in smooth, sleek, PENIS technology.
SG2: Only $19:95.
xL: OMG, Billy Mays should advertise it!!
BILLY MAYS: HI BILLY MAYS HERE TELLING YOU TO ORDER THE PENIX TODAY
BILLY MAYS: FOR ALL YOUR MOST PERTINENT PENIS SEX NEEDS
LG: YOU
LG: BILLY MAYS! >:(
LG: I WILL KILL YOU
BILLY MAYS: WHY SETTLE FOR SOFT, SQUISHY MAN WHORES WHO ARE UNABLE TO EFFECTIVELY SATISFY YOU
BILLY MAYS: PLEASURE YOURSELF TO THE UTMOST OF YOUR POTENTIAL
BILLY MAYS: THIS NEW TOP-OF-THE-LINE STATE OF THE ART PENIX CAN BE YOURS TODAY
LG: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!
BILLY MAYS: ORDER NOW AND WE'LL THROW IN 15 BOTTLES OF HOME-BREWED JIZZ SPREAD
BILLY MAYS: IT'S PERFECT FOR TOAST
LG: ...I'll take 20!!
xL: Well, SG2, I gotta go, sorry. I'll see you tomorrow.
SG2: Lol, okay. I should go too anyways, geez, it's late.
LG: WAIT, LET'S TALK ABOUT XL BEHIND HIS BACK
SG2: ...OMG
xL: OMGWTF
xL: LG!
SG2: We thought you were gone!!
LG: No, I was here the whole time.
xL: WTF
LG: Yeah, I was just watching porn.
SG2: No wonder the board told me your last activity was 7 minutes ago...
SG2: I probably should have picked up on that.
xL: We figured you were getting some hot nasal action.
LG: Nope, only porn.
xL: lol
xL: Well, I still have to go. Bye guys.
SG2: Lol, later XL
LG: So, SG2, it's just the two of us here alone now.
LG: What do you wanna do? 😉
SG2: ...
SG2: O_O
SG2: WAIT XL COME BAAAAAACK!!
LG: Ahahaha!! Yeah, stay like that, I like 'em scared!!
SG2: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zetabug: *hits LG with a door to the face*
LG: DAMN IT ALWAYS WITH THE DOORS!
SG2: Wow, thanks, you saved me!!
Zetabug: No problem.
Zetabug: So say, SG2, do you want to go have a nice steak dinner...?
Zetabug: Followed by a nice walk on the beach...?
SG2: Hm... *tempted by the Zetabug's offer*
LG: Don't do it, SG2!! Come with me instead, I have candy and a puppy in my car!!
SG2: Hm, candy AND a puppy...? I dunno, sounds pretty legit...
SG2: BUT, it's now 2 AM, and I told my mom when she went to bed at 10 that I'd be going to the living room
SG2: Where she left the TV and the lamp on
SG2: Wasting electricity
Zetabug: But I can give you candy, a puppy, AND a kitty!!
LG: A kitty too? Well shit, she ain't worth THAT much, you can have her ya dumb bug
SG2: ...WTF
SG2: FUCK YOU, MAN
SG2: YOU DON'T MEAN THAT MUCH TO ME!! HELL, TRISTAN'S A BETTER FRIEND TO ME THAN YOU ARE!!
Tristan: In your face, LG!!
SG2: Yeah, that sounds like a good idea!!
SG2: *slams the door in LG's face*
LG: NOOOO!!!
LG: IT WAS A JOKE!!
LG: NOT AGAIN WITH THE FACE AND THE BLEEDING
LG: But are you really leaving?
SG2: Lol, I really should. My mom's room is right next to mine besides, and I've had the light and computer and music on all this time
SG2: But...before I go...we should probably wipe out the chatbox
SG2: Little too much weird sexual humor 😛
LG: Yeah, you might wanna do that
SG2: Be sure to leave a nice message for your potential YDB members
SG2: At least the ones we didn't scare off already who came and saw this nonsense 😛
LG: Hello and welcome to Your Dragonball!! Please enjoy the chatbox and leave a message.