"I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE IT BACK!! I'M AFRAID, OKAY?! STOP CHASING ME!!"
SG2 was still fleeing for her life through the snowy labyrinth full of traps – whatever was chasing her had to be terrifying to make the normally dauntless tiger so nervous. She could feel the vibrations of it catching up, but she dare not look behind her…gotta run, just keep running, I can't possibly look at that thing…let alone fight it!!
The growling was getting closer by the minute…she closed her eyes tightly and ran as quickly as her legs could carry her. This was it, this was the end…well, past experience showed that the tiger was all but immortal, but she just knew that thing was going to do something terrible to her all the same!!
Then…there was a sharp, quick sound, like a blade slicing through metal…dare she turn around?
"Geez SG2, if all it took was one strike of my left-handed knife, you should have been able to take that thing no problem…"
That voice…
"Karma?!"
SG2 finally opened her eyes and turned, slowly…sure enough, there stood the vampire paladin witch, sheathing her trusty blade in the holster at her hip. The remains of the nightmare beast were evaporating into dust behind her.
"What the Hell took you so long?!", screamed the tiger…though she knew that her friend would understand that she was actually thankful to see her okay, and to have a helping hand.
"Nice to see you, too. As for the delay, after we stopped the avalanche we got held up by a huge mob of those shadow villagers…gave us quite the fight, but we took care of 'em."
"So that's why none of them were following us the entire time…"
"So, I take it you guys didn't have any luck finding an exit either?"
"Unfortunately, no. We thought we were onto something, but then got split up by this huge labyrinth…"
"Uh, labyrinth?", Karma asked, cocking an eyebrow. "It's just a big square with a few packed snow walls that are like 3-feet high."
"What? Really?"
"Yeah. This is like Baby's First Snow Fort."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
There was a long, awkward silence…quickly broken, however, by the sound of further rumbling. The duo looked around…but this danger wasn't coming from behind, but below. The tremors in the ground increased as whatever was burrowing its way upwards got closer…and closer…until finally they burst through, scattering snow and soil everywhere, pouring out in great numbers on all sides.
"What th…snow spiders? Heh, after what we've seen, these don't even look like a challenge!! C'mon Karma, I bet we can take these things in five se…Karma?"
The tiger glanced over her shoulder to see the normally brimming-with-confidence Blood Kaiser…hugging herself and trembling, backed as tightly into the corner of the snowy walls as she could get. She seemed to be murmuring something to herself over and over, like a mantra, but SG2 couldn't hear.
"Oh, right…forgot about your thing with spiders."
"THEY ARE DEATH ON EIGHT LEGS!!"
"You're an undead vampire!! 'Death on eight legs' sounds like exactly the sort of thing you'd be all about!! It also sounds like a wicked sweet name for a metal band…"
"JUST HURRY UP AND KILL THEM OKAY?!?!?!", she screamed, desperately trying to claw her way over the wall she could have probably just stepped over.
All in all, they didn't seem the slightest bit terrifying…though they were 'giant' spiders, they were actually a little smaller than SG2 – nothing like the looming, truck-sized monstrosities with acid-dripping fangs you might see in popular movies or video games. Still, SG2 knew that fear was in the eye of the beholder, and what seemed like nothing to her was enough to drive Karma into a frothing lunatic who was…doing cartwheels through the 'labyrinth', flailing her limbs around absurdly to avoid brushing up against a single frosty hair of the creepy crawly critters.
"Well, I do owe you for saving me, I guess", the tiger said with a shrug, drawing her trusty chainsaw from the mysterious pocket in her SG2Tiger Suit. "Sorry guys, I know you're just looking for a good meal, but you'll have to find one…IN HELL!!"
The air filled with the crisp sound of a revving motor as SG2 warmed up her faithful killing instrument before dashing through the snow at lightning speed. She zigged and she zagged in all directions, slicing clean through the arachnid army like a hot cat through butter. When she got to the opposite side of where most of them had gathered, she unleashed her favorite classic staple: pulling out a rocket launcher and stuffing the chainsaw inside. Through amazing yet unknown scientific principles, a pull of the trigger would launch the ballistic bladed beauty forward at incredible speed…slicing through everything in its path until it eventually lost its inertia. Of course, it was more than enough to carve a clean line through all but a handful of stragglers in the snow spider ranks.
For the grand finale, SG2 leapt into the air and did a few flips before crashing down, fist extended, landing a brutal ground-pound that left a sizable crater…the land shook and, somehow (probably through yet more unexplained scientific principles), the remaining snow spiders simply burst into nothingness from the force of the impact. The tiger performed one final flip and then landed rightside-up on her feet, posing dramatically as the shadowy dust faded into the frosty air.
"If you're expecting me to congratulate you for that unnecessarily flashy performance, you've got another thing coming…", said the Kaiser, finally feeling safe enough to move around normally.
"Aw…"
"Still…thanks. I guess working together we can accomplish things that we couldn't do alone…"
"Then what are we waiting for? The others need our help!!"
Working in tandem, the two began to break through the snow walls that separated them from the rest of their friends…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hamel had been fighting a losing battle against the Waku-Waku Donkey Sentai. Where she had considerable power, they had strength in numbers…and the unshakable ability to turn aside her attempts at violence with kindness and warm hugs. His attacks couldn't even penetrate their Anti-Hug Shields – she could punch all day and night and never make any progress.
"Face it, Hamel-san!! If you want to escape this room…"
"You need to give us all great big hugs!!"
Hamel winced…had all hope truly been lost?! His friends were out there, and they needed her help…would she have to concede and let himself be hugged in order to go to their aid? The threat to her shadowy body was too great…but then, all of a sudden, it came.
"Did somebody say…hugs…?"
And there he stood…bathed in the bright lights of the room, the very picture of an angel, coming to her aid. It was…
"Tim?!"
"Hold tight, Hamel!! If it's hugs they want…then it's hugs they shall get!!"
Hamel floated in a corner of the ceiling and watched…watch as Tim raced through the room at lightning speed, delivering the biggest bear-hugs they had ever born witness to. They were so sickeningly sweet he could almost swear she saw little hearts and sparkles emanating from the donkeys…she rubbed her eyes. Actually, that was exactly what he was seeing. For every donkey Tim hugged, it would burst into a rain of colorful confetti and cease to be. Hamel looked on in amazement as the catboy made his way through the crowd, delivering these death-hugs to dozens of donkeys until they had all popped like piñatas.
"Whoa…"
"Heh, what did I tell you?", said Tim, standing proudly amongst the scattered confetti - what constituted the “ashes” of his fallen enemies. "No one can withstand the force of my fluffy hugs!!"
Hamel leapt down from the ceiling, moving to stand beside her Neutral comrade.
"You'd better be careful with that kind of talk, or Konungur Bones might punish you for stealing his catchphrases again!!"
"Haha, what's he gonna do, brand me a double Neutral?"
The pair threw their heads back and laughed like they were in a cheesy cartoon special, but their celebration was short-lived. They stepped back in surprise as the confetti on the floor began to quiver…and reform. However, they didn't turn back into donkeys, but something far more familiar…
"Uh…Tim? I appreciate the help, but you didn't need to go bringing all your clones along with you…"
"I'm…not doing this…"
Sure enough, the shadowbeasts that had once been donkeys had instead taken the form of enough Tims to fill the small room to capacity. Hamel and the real Tim were quite literally backed into a corner as their new foes surrounded them from all sides.
"""""Hello, Timmy."""""
"What exactly are you?!", growled the genuine article.
"Why, I'm Tim!! And he's Tim, and he's Tim, and that guy over there is also Tim."
"We're all Tim!!"
"I mean, that's what clones are, right? Perfect copies of the original down to a genetic level."
"Of course…we do have minds of our own and the ability to develop distinct personality traits…"
"And yet you use us like disposable slaves, no longer fit to serve you once whatever job you've sent us to do has been accomplished!!"
The room was filled with the raucous cries from the copious amounts of Tims, getting angrier by the moment. But they did have a point…Tim had a bad habit of using his clones for one-off purposes, after which they were quickly disposed of to prevent IGNOLand from being overrun by Tims and bringing the Konungur's wrath down on his head – even if Tim was Neutral, he didn't exactly find having a war with the world's foremost leader an exciting prospect. Perhaps he had gotten too carried away with his abilities and, somewhere down the line, stopped seeing these clones as humans in their own right…was bending the laws of science and nature to suit his own frivolous needs really justifiable?
"I don't think they're gonna let us out of this room without a fight…" Hamel said, breaking through Tim's racing thoughts.
"A-ah, true…"
"Biiiiingo!! So go on then – kill us all, like you usually do!! You'll be able to get out of here and save your friends in no time at all!!"
"Yeah, kill us!!"
"Kill us!! It's so easy!!"
"We won't even fight back – just melt us down like business as usual and be on your merry way!!"
Tim's face became slicked with sweat, surrounded by the bounding cries of 'himself' chanting 'kill us' over and over. Was he really so cruel…? All these Tims…they were–
"Get a hold of yourself, Tim!!" shouted Hamel, shaking his shoulders. "They're not even really clones, they're just those shadow monsters pretending to be–"
"It doesn't matter if they're real or not!! It's…it's true, everything they say is true!! I really do abuse my cloning powers, I…create and take life so often that it's begun to lose meaning…!!"
Tim clutched his head…it was clear that he wasn't going to be able to bring himself to take out these impostors. Hamel sighed deeply.
"Well, we can worry about the ethical issues of cloning and what you'll do in the future after we get out of here…", he said, cracking her neck from side to side. "But in order to do that, someone has to kill these fakers – and since I owe you already, if you can't do it, I will!!"
It was over in a flash – true to their word, the 'Tims' didn't even fight back as Hamel let loose a flare burst that turned the entire room into a pressure cooker. The real Tim fell to his knees, encased in an opaque, sound-proof flame shield…Hamel didn't want him to have to hear the screams or watch in horror as his clones were melted into oblivion. But even without witnessing it, Tim could feel the pain of all the clones he'd treated like replaceable commodities over the years…even if the ones in this room weren't really his clones, it didn't make the blow any softer.
After what felt like an eternity within that silent prison, Tim's vision returned as the blinding light of the flames faded away…and suddenly, he felt himself wrapped in a warm embrace. This time, the one doing the hugging…was Hamel. Tim looked up at her face in confusion, tears in his eyes.
"Wha…"
"Tim…listen, Tim. You're a good person…we all know that. Yeah, even good people can let power go to their heads, and science is one of those things you get so wrapped up in that you don't even realize the extent of what you're doing sometimes…but that doesn't make you a bad person. The fact that you're weeping for those lost clones right now proves that…if you really thought they were expendable - if you didn't think of them as human - then you wouldn't be shedding tears for them."
"But…but I…"
"Look, if you're having second thoughts about the way you go about this whole cloning thing you can worry about that in the future…maybe treat them a little better and keep them around longer or something. But right now, stop feeling sorry for yourself about what's already in the past. We need to move ahead and help the others…and hopefully find a way out of here."
"You're right…", Tim said, wiping his eyes and nodding. "Okay. I'll be okay. Thank you, Hamel…"
"Don't worry about it…what are friends for?", she said with a smile. "Oh, and Tim?"
"Yeah?"
"If you tell anyone about me hugging you, I'll have no problem melting you into another Tim-shaped puddle."
"Noted."
With the shadowbeasts defeated, the metallic walls of the room had faded away to reveal that they had been trapped in a very small snow enclosure the entire time…though considering Hamel's inability to melt through them earlier, it seemed almost certain that there was some sort of reality-warping magic at play here. Working together, Tim and Hamel smashed their way through the rudimentary snowy maze, eager to save their friends…and to punish whoever it was that had trapped them in these living nightmares.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MTS' battle with the evil ent raged on. Though she was holding her own and managing not to get too banged up in the process, MTS had yet to scratch the bark of the tree beast – it was definitely a losing battle. That is, until a convenient strike from the shadowy branches happened to hit not MTS, but the invisible 'wall' behind her...breaking the illusory garden scene she'd been trapped in and revealing the very snowscape she and her friends had been racing through before this all began. Most notable, however, was that she and her wooden friend were not alone.
"LG?!"
"MTS?!"
Apparently the blow had knocked a hole through the snow wall that connected two separate rooms, shattering the mirage that had encased them both. Now MTS and LG alike saw that they had never been trapped in the first place…though they still had quite the battles on their hands.
"You're here too, huh?" MTS shouted to her friend, still dodging the striking branches aiming for her life.
"Yeah…looks like we were both just a few feet apart this entire time…whoa!!", LG cried, ducking the crotch that came sweeping over his head as he continued to block the frantic blows without opening his eyes.
"Is…that girl naked?"
"Long story!!"
MTS had at least managed to make use of spacious garden room she'd been in moments ago to dodge around and avoid harm for the most part…but it seemed LG wasn't quite as lucky, being knocked about by some hardcore martial arts. His body was covered in nicks and cuts…had he spent this entire fight blocking instead of retaliating? MTS groaned inwardly…that big gay idiot!!
All it took was a glance - her eyes met LG's, and they both gave a quick nod in unison. They were so close for so many years that this was all they needed to convey to one another their plan. It may have seemed like telepathy to others, but it was nothing but subtle body language!!
MTS' opponent had range, but was large and cumbersome…she had a chance so long as she made it quick. He wouldn't be able to pursue her for a few seconds, at least!! The elven princess cartwheeled into the other 'room', ducking behind the remains of the broken wall to avoid a branchy strike. Then she leapt into the air behind LG's foe…and…
"TITTY TWISTER!!"
She spiraled through the air like a tornado, subjecting her buoyant breasts to the rigors of physics. as she whirled, they whirled with her…brutally slapping anyone or anything that stood in her way. LG's opponent was knocked around by the knockers several times before the spinning finally ceased, and MTS grabbed the woman in a fierce chokehold…landing her head straight into Marshmallow Hell.
"L-let go of me…!!"
"What's the matter, you can dish it out but you can't take it? Huuuuuh?", MTS teased, grinding the woman's head between her cleavage.
Meanwhile, LG had taken the opportunity to slip away and deal with the ent, whose devilish branches fell lifelessly before his expert bladesmanship.
"Heh…I'm a lot better when I've actually got my eyes open!!"
LG's movements were as fearsome as they were graceful. The air rang with the sharp sound of his slashes, his body appearing as one, then two, then three afterimages before fading into nothing more than a blur…by the time the wicked wood realized his position, it was already too late – his trunk had been sliced clean through.
"Timber, motherfucker."
There was a loud crash as the terrible tree was finally felled, smashing open the other walls that enclosed them before dissolving into a ghostly mist. LG moved as to sheath his intangible weapon, looking to the room on the opposite side to see that MTS, too, had finished her enemy off.
"Thanks for bailing me out there, Boobs McGee. We make a pretty good team."
"We sure do…though I don't understand why you couldn't beat her", said MTS as the pair made their way out of the snowy maze. "You spend so much time with me, I thought tits didn't bother you."
"They don't!! It's that…other thing", LG said with a shudder.
"But LG…you go to the Vagina Party weekly meetings all the time."
"Yeah, but only ironically!!"
"Well, at any rate, we need to go find the others…ready?"
"Let's rock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was through similar circumstances that xL and Bradios found their adjacent rooms joined, now fighting back to back and squaring off against each others' nightmare manifestations. For xL, he had always wanted to beat the crap out of Bradios, but knew that if he actually tried against the real thing he'd get his ass handed to him – and not in the way he liked. And for Bradios, his enemy was just another run-of-the-mill tentacle monster…he wondered why this was supposedly something from xL's nightmares when it seemed like exactly the kind of thing he'd be into, but he decided not to ask questions and merely get the job done.
The rapidly darkening sky was lit by flashes of light as the pair collided with their foes, each a highly-skilled fighter with their respective projectiles. With neither being crippled by the other's fears, blasting the shadow creatures back to whatever Hell they crawled out of was an easy matter. When the dust finally settled, the pair turned back to one another and high fived.
"So, that's what you looked like before you got your robot parts, huh? …I gotta say, I like the new you better", xL said…Bradios' heart sank for a moment, wondering if it was true that they only cared about him for his parts, until xL flung an arm over his shoulder. "You're a lot stronger now…emotionally, I mean. You've turned into a pretty cool guy!!"
"Ah…thanks!!", Bradios said with a smile, feeling reassured. "And what about your guy? A one night stand gone horribly wrong?"
"That guy? Nah. You'd better have twice that many tentacles if you wanna get with me – I've got standards, y'know!!", xL laughed. He knew he'd come clean to his friends someday…but for now, he was happy being the loveable, promiscuous prankster of the group.
"So the walls are down now, I guess we can go find the others…c'mon!!"
The sky was already so dark…how many hours had it been since they'd started running for their lives from town square? So much had already happened today, but there was no time to rest now. They needed to find an exit to escape this Hellish world of endlessly repeating Christmases…Bradios had a sinking feeling that if they didn't get out before midnight, they'd just forget everything and be chucked back to the beginning again. That couldn't be allowed to happen – they had all worked too hard today to have it all be in vain!! They needed to find that exit!!
It wasn't long before they came across another straggler from the group – it was Reese, running from a rather sizable pack of vicious-looking snow dogs. He managed to catch sight of Bradios and xL and started waving his hands frantically, trying to pantomime something…they didn't know what he was trying to say, but it was pretty obvious he needed help. Nodding to one another, the duo charged ahead and let loose on the frosty fiends, splattering their snowy innards across the equally snowy…snow. Reese clasped his hands over his mouth, probing around with gloved fingers.
"Aahh…Ah!! I can speak again!! Whew…", he sighed in relief. "Being silenced by a pack of magical dogs made of water…it's like they rolled all my greatest weaknesses together!! Well, almost all of them. If they'd given those things cleavage I think it would have been a very different kind of terrifying. Thanks for the help, guys."
"We'd been wondering what happened to you guys after the avalanche!! Is everyone okay?"
"Yeah, they all ran off to help the others…ah!!", he said, pointing into the distance. "It looks like that's them over there!! C'mon!!"
After enduring several arduous battles, the gang was finally reunited…there was laughing, several were hugging, but above all everyone was just glad to see their friends made it out in one piece. Except…they did a headcount,and one was missing.
"Bones…"
"He's gotta be okay, right? I mean…it is Bones we're talking about here!!", said MTS nervously, trying to reassure the group. "He probably finished his battle before the rest of us, all by himself!!"
"No…those fights were all clearly designed to pick at our personal insecurities", said Tim, having been caught up on what the others went through. "I don't know if even Bones would have been able to get through it alone. None of us would have."
"But no one here helped him, right? I was with MTS…", LG said.
"Me and SG2 busted that entire sad excuse for a labyrinth wide open, he wasn't there", Karma said.
"He wanted to find an exit just as badly as the rest of us, didn't he?", asked Iris. "Where else could he possibly go…?"
SG2's eyes opened wide…the flood of memories from all the previous repetitions ran through her head like a video on fast-forward. The pieces had suddenly clicked together in her head – if Bones was also put into a situation designed to make him vulnerable…there was only one place he could possibly be.
"I know where he is…agh, that idiot!!", SG2 cursed before running off in the direction of the gate they'd passed through earlier.
"W-wait, SG2!! That's where the town is, we're supposed to be going this way!!", Karma shouted, assuming her friend's poor sense of direction had struck again.
"There's no time to explain, everyone follow me!! We have to hurry!!"
The IGNOites looked at each other and shrugged…they didn't know what was going on, but SG2 seemed confident. Trusting her judgment, they raced after the tiger as the blizzard raged on…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Immediately following the battle with the Deerberus, Bones had been overcome by an unshakable feeling that Linda was in danger. He didn't know why he cared so much…but he couldn't ignore the dread building up in his chest. This town had become overrun by shadow monsters…what if she had been hurt?! His friends had already split into teams in search of the exit, but he was compelled to return here to where it all began…to the Good Hoof Inn, where he'd woken up this morning. Where his memories told him he'd woken up so many mornings before, where he'd spent the night laughing and dancing and feasting with the kind family. Bones was a lot of things, but he wasn't the type who could just ignore it when someone he knew personally was in danger. And so, his chivalry getting the better of him, Bones made his way to the inn.
When he arrived at the front gate, he knew his premonition was correct…and cursed himself for not heeding it sooner!! For there, lying in the snow clutching a bloody arm…was Linda.
"Linda!!", he cried, running to her side. "Are you alright?! Don't move…we'll get you to a doctor!!"
"Ah…Olaf, is that…you?"
"Yeah, it's me!! You're gonna be okay, just hold on tight!!", he said, scooping the girl into his arms. "I'll get you to town square…surely there's a doctor there who can help you!!"
"BONES, STOP!! IT'S A TRAP!!"
Bones looked over the hill to see all of his friends gathered…a trap? What was that tiger saying now of all times?!
"I know the town is full of monsters, but we've already killed most of them!! If there are any left I'll kill them too!! But first, she needs our help!!"
"OPEN YOUR EYES, YOU IDIOT!! SHE'S ONE OF THEM!!"
"What? Are you out of your mind?!"
When the group had gone over their memories of the repetitions, one of the defining factors that it was all fake had been the fact that almost every single person they'd spoken to said the same exact words to them every time, like a broken record. It was as though they were pre-programmed to speak and react in a specific way, like NPCs in a video game – but there was one exception to all of that. Linda.
Bones remembered clearly how she behaved distinctly each time they'd met…events may have played out mostly the same, but there were always subtle differences in her dialogue and behaviour. Even if everyone else in this village was part of some elaborate Christmas fantasy setup, he knew in his heart that Linda was different – Linda was real. Not even the words of his trusted tiger advisor were enough to shake that belief.
"Come on, Linda…it'll be okay. I'll get you healed up, one way or another…"
"No…Olaf, please…", she said softly, stroking the side of his cheek with her good arm. "It's already…too late…"
"What do you mean it's too late?! It's not that bad!! If we get you attention right away, we can–"
"…for you."
"BONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Before Bones could rationalize what was happening, he had already felt the sharp sting of the knife penetrating his flesh…blood seeped out from his shoulder, staining his already red mantle with a fresh shade of crimson. He stared at Linda…his expression gradually shifting from the sad realization of betrayal, to acceptance, and finally to pure, unbridled rage.
"Y-you…bitch…"
"I'm impressed by your reflexes…if you hadn't shifted your body at the last second, that blade would now be buried deep inside your heart."
"BONES!!!!", SG2 shouted as the group finally reached his side. The tiger grabbed his shoulders. "Transform into your armored form, quick!! Before you lose any more blood!!"
Bones shook his head…he had to be at full health in order to take on such a strenuous transformation. But he could already feel the blood filling his throat…Linda's words had rung true in the end. It was already too late. SG2 moved to pull out the knife before Karma shoved her aside.
"Don't touch that!! He'll just bleed more if you take it out!!", she cried. "And as mouthwatering as that prospect might be on a normal occasion, we can't let that happen!!"
The tiger nodded…Bones was placed in the care of Tim and Azaran - the former of whom had experience with medical magic and the latter being accustomed to performing first-aid treatments of the injured in his Sanctuary. Azaran scoffed at the idea of giving medical attention to someone he hated so much…but he couldn't overlook an injured person, no matter who they were. The rest of the IGNOites adopted battle stances and surrounded Linda…who had now been hovering slightly above the ground for some time.
"You're the one responsible for all of this, aren't you…", growled SG2, having pieced together the entire situation. "You trapped us in this unending Christmas loop…magically controlled all the villagers as puppets to take us through the motions every day…and stuck us in that enchanted snow fort, making it seem like an impassable maze and forcing us to fight against our greatest fears…"
"Well done!! Though there is one element you didn't get. Shame, since it's the most important one of all…I guess you get a 90% overall", she said nonchalantly, rising higher into the sky. "I'd say see me after class, but I'm afraid it's too late for that now. You're all too late!!"
"Bones is made of tougher stuff than that!!", cried LG. "A little stab wound isn't going to be enough to kill him!!"
"Oh, I'm not talking about that."
With a snap of her fingers, a giant grandfather clock made of snow sprung up from the ground – a glance at the hands suggested Bradios' fear was correct, as it was just shortly before midnight. Had time really been advancing so quickly in this world?!
"By tomorrow, you won't remember any of this…all that fighting you did, too. Meaningless. So sad…", she said with a phoney pout.
"IT WON'T TAKE MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES TO BEAT THE LIKES OF YOU!!", screamed Bradios, charging forward with blasters firing. Of course, Linda dodged every one.
"Oh you adorable little boy, you really thought it would be that easy, didn't you?", he said with a giggle, zig-zagging to and fro. "Well, dears, I'm afraid that's all for the evening…I'll see you all again tomorrow, and we'll laugh and have fun, sing and dance…"
"You won't get away with this!!"
"Oh, but I already have. Nearly a dozen times, actually. Over and over and over…but well…you already remembered that much, didn't you? Teeheehee…"
Unable to contain their anger anymore, all the IGNOites – save for Tim and Azaran – attack at once. But before they can even close the gap, their bodies…freeze.
"W-what's going on? I can't move…!!", Hamel cries, the muscles in normally light body suddenly feeling as heavy as lead.
"Why am I…so…tired…", murmurs Reese, struggling to keep his eyelids from closing.
It was the same for everyone – they were suddenly awash with the feeling of incredible sleepiness. It was the sort of sensation one might have after a late night, forcing themselves to wake early in the morning but simply being unable to drag themselves out of bed…and before they know it, nodding right back off. Perhaps, rather than saying their bodies were 'frozen', it would be more accurate to say they simply could not will their brains to move their muscles. Even lifting an arm became an outrageous effort when overcome with such draining tiredness…
"It's sleepytime, little ones…nestle yourselves up snug in your beds, while visions of sugarplums dance in your heads…hahahahaha!!"
One by one, the bodies of the IGNOites fell to the cold snow…the silent night filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and snoring. Visions blurring, fading…sensations becoming dim…
"N-no…we can't let…all of this be…a waste…", SG2 stammered, focusing all of her energy towards the insurmountable endeavor of staying away…but ultimately failing.
The last thing Bones could remember before drifting off to dreamland…was the sound of a music box playing a soothing, holiday lullaby. The melody was so familiar…where did he know that song…? It was no use…his brain had already shut down.
And then everything...went dark.
…
…
The sound of birds chirping was gradually getting harder and harder to ignore, as was the stream of sunlight filtering in through the window. He must have overslept...why didn't the alarm go off? Why didn't the Morning Leprechaun sing the Dawn Shanty to welcome the day? No, why didn't any of his Leprechauns come to wake him, knowing there was still so much to be done?
His body still heavy with drowsiness, Bones sat up in bed...a bed he did not recognize. In fact, he didn't recognize anything about this room...this was definitely not a room in Castle Bones. But how could this be? He swore he could remember falling asleep in his own bed last night...and he was far too stressed yesterday to have spent the night with a ladyfriend. No hangover, either...if he had gone out and had enough drinks to where he'd wake up in an unfamiliar bed, you'd think he would still be feeling something. So what was the deal?
One foot hit the floor, then the other. Bones walked over to the window that was still obnoxiously leaking sunlight into his unadjusted eyes and pulled back the curtain...he could not believe what was before his eyes. The ground was awash with fluffy snow, with yet more still softly dancing in the sky. A cheerful holiday melody played in the distance, the sort one might hear from an old-fashioned music box. Young children he didn't recognize, all bundled up in their snowsuits, were laughing and playing. There was a cute little snowman with his stick arm raised as though waving directly at him...further in the distance was a grove of such perfect-looking evergreen trees that Bones could almost smell them from the window. There was a small cobblestone path leading to an open gate, with an unfamiliar man shovelling a walkway. Beyond the gate were a few quaint-looking buildings, just the kind you might see in the pages of a fairytale book.
This...was definitely not Knochenstadt. Hell, it didn't look like anywhere in IGNOLand. None that he had ever seen, at any rate. If anything, it reminded him more of his motherland, the Nordlands, than the Empire he ruled over with his iron fist fluffy hugs. It was almost as though he'd been transported into some magical Christmas village overnight...but there's no way something like that could have happened.
...Right?
He's lost in thought as he opens the door………